tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post5329798902203143472..comments2024-02-24T18:21:32.681-07:00Comments on It Just Gets Stranger: Feeling BetterELIhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11231200183264672395noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-65281075057023157672014-06-22T14:17:23.368-06:002014-06-22T14:17:23.368-06:00Eli I love your hair this much (picture my arms ve...Eli I love your hair this much (picture my arms very far apart.).Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03148774518327159407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-1019096649732532962014-06-21T13:48:23.401-06:002014-06-21T13:48:23.401-06:00This is a beautiful post, Eli. I'm sorry for w...This is a beautiful post, Eli. I'm sorry for what you had to go through, but glad you were able to learn something valuable from it and grow. That's what all of our experiences are really for anyway, good or bad.<br /><br />And I loved the movie Philomena. Such an amazing story of forgiveness.Karen M. Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972093977468313631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-47524243445928321112014-06-20T21:58:03.841-06:002014-06-20T21:58:03.841-06:00Beautiful. I went through a similar situation wit...Beautiful. I went through a similar situation with my sister. She hurt me in a terrible way. I held onto my anger for years. It ate me up inside to the point that I became severely depressed. <br />I forgave her and told her so. But also yold her why I was so angy and hurt. Still on the path of mending our relationship. <br />But thank you for this post. Reminds me that while we may be angry we don't need to let it take over our lives. Breathe, forgive. We are not perfect but we have the power to change and forgive and growAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-80134484619054255392014-06-19T16:13:41.784-06:002014-06-19T16:13:41.784-06:00Thank you, both of you...maybe I'm getting the...Thank you, both of you...maybe I'm getting there. Sometimes I can feel downright charitable and wish her well, and then ugly things come bubbling up from the depths of hurt (that I had thought I'd dealt with) and I'm right back to hoping for a karmic injunction and that her life implodes in on her. But thinking of forgiveness as an on-going process (and constant choice) instead of a one-time deal makes me feel better about my ability to eventually get all the way there. Annersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-54831368815726589162014-06-19T15:25:04.071-06:002014-06-19T15:25:04.071-06:00Thanks. I was pissed off yesteday. working on be...Thanks. I was pissed off yesteday. working on being charitableAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-2994225760562555502014-06-19T13:58:43.235-06:002014-06-19T13:58:43.235-06:00There are way too few references in this comment c...There are way too few references in this comment chain to how good my hair looks today. And, to be honest, it's kind of starting to piss me off. Because, no, I'm not having the best hair day of all time. But it still looks pretty good. It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-22190977546284560762014-06-19T13:42:28.429-06:002014-06-19T13:42:28.429-06:00Reading this post, I didn't get the undercurre...Reading this post, I didn't get the undercurrent of "these people are terrible" at all. There was more of a sense that no matter what the people around us do, we are better off if we try to love and not hate. I actually thought it was really brave of Eli to share this. He owned the fact that he felt and acted uncharitably and was corrected by a friend. And I found the humility with which he describes his attempts to overcome anger to be really inspirational. I think if you see so much negative in this post, you must be focusing on the wrong thing. An angry person sees himself as the victim. A person who decides not to be angry is the one who has decided not to simplify all human relationships into antagonist/protagonist.<br /><br />(Different anonymous)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-14957079522690103182014-06-19T11:33:26.350-06:002014-06-19T11:33:26.350-06:00I lived this (and still live it because time heals...I lived this (and still live it because time heals all wounds but...it takes time.) All I can say is thank you for posting this. I feel as though letting those who have wronged me keep me angry, is just giving them power that isn't theirs to wield. There are so many people that are negative about the idea of forgiving those who have wronged us, I sometimes wonder if my attempts to walk the line between forgiving and not being a doormat really is the sign of weakness everyone calls it. It is nice to know that others walk that line too. Anger is exhausting, charity and compassion aren't easy but are freeing (and the right thing).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-81644662610722381192014-06-19T11:08:40.490-06:002014-06-19T11:08:40.490-06:00This was so helpful to me. Thank you. I needed to ...This was so helpful to me. Thank you. I needed to read this today. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-10702652831913699602014-06-19T10:40:08.590-06:002014-06-19T10:40:08.590-06:00Ah. I can definitely understand that. And if it re...Ah. I can definitely understand that. And if it really was the case that the people in my life would recognize this situation from reading this post, I wouldn't have written this like I did. I can see how that would be hypocritical, and my intent in writing this was not to gain sympathy or to rally folks to my cause. I hope not to be TOO passive-aggressive in this blog. <br /><br />The situation I'm referring to is a very personal one that is known by very few. (It's also distant enough now that it might not even be recognized by those very few). And part of why I wrote this is because I believed that those very few would benefit from hearing these thoughts. I don't believe I was attempting to manipulate sympathy and adoration here. And I also don't proclaim to be motivated by love and acceptance. But I do proclaim that I'm starting to see how being motivated by such is a better way to live and so it's something that I'm trying to strive for.<br /><br />True humility is an ongoing struggle that I absolutely do not claim to have mastered. I'm working at it day by day, and hopefully moving in the right direction.<br /><br />Thank you for the comments. It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-63577429787475620752014-06-19T10:18:43.143-06:002014-06-19T10:18:43.143-06:00After going through a " little"part of H...After going through a " little"part of Hell a few years back I too realized that being angry is so much easier. It seemed that anger was right at the top waiting to pour out. It's hard work to forgive and choose to be ok again. Loved this post! Ballouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729052959063036256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-9816717800806182192014-06-19T10:05:35.864-06:002014-06-19T10:05:35.864-06:00Eli, I always enjoy reading you posts. Thank you s...Eli, I always enjoy reading you posts. Thank you so much for sharing, especially topics such as these, which must be hard to write about. This reminded of something I always tell myself when I grow particularly frustrated or upset with someone over what they have done or said, which is "everyone has a story". I feel like it is unfair for me to judge or assume negative things about someone because they have a story which contributes to who they are as a person. I don't know what they might be going through or dealing with. Compassion and understanding are so very important! You're right, no one is perfect, and that is what makes us so interesting! :) Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05630965775794131455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-29443524673011882392014-06-19T09:52:27.844-06:002014-06-19T09:52:27.844-06:00I signed up for that charity run last week, but it...I signed up for that charity run last week, but it was cancelled because something tragic happened to everyone involved so no one could run. <br /><br />On a serious note though, I did read your post entirely. And calling you a "professional victim" was not an attack, it was just an honest commentary from my perspective. What I take issue with is that you write about how you've decided to focus on charity and love and not "gossiping", but the undercurrent of this whole post is about how these terrible, awful, bad people in your life wronged you. And I imagine that your real life friends, who you interact with on a daily basis, know exactly who you're calling out. <br /><br />It's your blog, and your life, but I take issue when I see you or others blantantly trying to manipulate sympathy and adoration, while at the same time proclaiming themselves to be only motivated by love and acceptance. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-13839616543185151292014-06-19T09:05:50.046-06:002014-06-19T09:05:50.046-06:00Oh my gosh! Did I just become a victim in my comme...Oh my gosh! Did I just become a victim in my comment?! SOMEONE PLEASE START A CHARITY FOR ME! We can have a 5K for all Eli McCann's who have been targeted in semi-annoyed anonymous Internet comments. We'll call it, "Race for the Professional Victims." It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-56437515638263231272014-06-19T08:54:48.016-06:002014-06-19T08:54:48.016-06:00In all seriousness, did you read the post? I hoped...In all seriousness, did you read the post? I hoped that my point was that I'm learning not to be a self-indulgent victim. To be able to look outside of myself and how I "feel" wronged and focus instead on how I can love another person, accepting that nobody is perfect, myself included. I certainly don't need validation from all that I'm a wonderful person, but I'm concerned that you have chosen these types of thoughts to attack. Surely this type of introspection shouldn't be labeled as negative. It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-53271482851978551052014-06-19T08:47:58.901-06:002014-06-19T08:47:58.901-06:00Professional victim? Is that really a job?! HOW MU...Professional victim? Is that really a job?! HOW MUCH DOES IT PAY?!It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-37713694518646184682014-06-19T08:35:21.309-06:002014-06-19T08:35:21.309-06:00While I'm sure you were wronged, or at least f...While I'm sure you were wronged, or at least feel wronged, this post is incredibly self-indulgent. I'm generally a big fan of your blog, but it's posts like this that make me disappointed in you and your generation of "professional victims".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-59494586403750770662014-06-18T23:46:32.358-06:002014-06-18T23:46:32.358-06:00Beautifully put. Oh, by the way, your hair looks f...Beautifully put. Oh, by the way, your hair looks fabulous!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-47054689379449319312014-06-18T21:38:58.144-06:002014-06-18T21:38:58.144-06:00Thanks, Eli. I agree that forgiveness is to stop h...Thanks, Eli. I agree that forgiveness is to stop hating and see somebody with charity. Hating is bad for us. <br />Years ago, a major tragedy happened in my family that we will never recover from in this life. I sometimes have felt overwhelming anger toward the guilty party. But from the beginning, I have felt that the only way to keep myself from going insane is to forgive. My three steps: Remember that I also have sinned. Look up to God always. Trust God to make everything better, even if not in this life. <br />I think all of us face a choice at some point in our lives: Be angry, hate, make yourself crazy, or forgive, trust, be at peace. <br />But don't be a doormat. If you're in danger in any way, get yourself to a safe place. Forgiving doesn't necessarily continuing the relationship. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-72329951374144643252014-06-18T20:38:06.851-06:002014-06-18T20:38:06.851-06:00Beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. Beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-85165881174927970572014-06-18T18:51:11.762-06:002014-06-18T18:51:11.762-06:00How do you manage to make me roll with laughter on...How do you manage to make me roll with laughter one moment and have all the feels the next? You sir are a wizard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-74915572095021540632014-06-18T16:17:46.183-06:002014-06-18T16:17:46.183-06:00When I found out that my best friend had been lyin...When I found out that my best friend had been lying to me about some pretty major things for over a year or so, I was devastated. Not only from being lied to, but the things that I’d been lied to about destroyed me for a while, and still continue to make my heart hurt to this day. I've never wept more bitterly in my life then I did during that time. For me, I wanted to be angry. I wanted so badly to be angry, but in my brokenness I couldn't seem to muster the strength, and instead, I felt sorrow. I told my friend when I talked to her that I didn’t want to tell her right then that I forgave her. I didn’t want to say those words, not because I didn’t feel forgiveness yet, but because I didn’t want to say it in the heat of the moment, and then a month later be angry and unforgiving. I agree, forgiveness is definitely a continual choice, and a conscious effort. For me, the choice is made easier (if only slightly) by the understanding that I’m just as capable of making the same choices as the people who hurt me. That I’m just as capable and just as prone to causing pain as everyone else. Sure, this doesn't help me much in the moment when the wound is the rawest, but in the days, weeks, and months that follow, it’s helpful to remember that my heart can be just as wicked, if not more so. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16953226675867679955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-37618251157252857912014-06-18T16:17:22.029-06:002014-06-18T16:17:22.029-06:00Thank you, Eli...
I'm going thru something pre...Thank you, Eli...<br />I'm going thru something pretty similar right now...and reading this helped me gain some needed perspective. From the bottom of my heart...thank you. <3Sherry Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08840876956546032741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-75945482332284813672014-06-18T14:35:06.145-06:002014-06-18T14:35:06.145-06:00I would love to hear any other thoughts on this fr...I would love to hear any other thoughts on this from the oh-so-wise Strangers.It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8964698794691718038.post-65451933289783512222014-06-18T14:34:25.933-06:002014-06-18T14:34:25.933-06:00I think forgiveness is the ability to feel charity...I think forgiveness is the ability to feel charity toward someone who has done something wrong. I find I can most effectively get there by actively trying not to focus on myself and to instead attempt to understand how the person's own pain and circumstances might have led them to act the way they did. I don't excuse their behavior in the process. But there is something about seeing things from their perspective that makes me feel more compassion.<br /><br />In this situation, I think I keep getting there, slipping a bit, and then having to get there again. It's an ongoing process. In that sense, forgiveness isn't a one-time action. It's a state of being that you can only achieve with concerted effort and consistent practice. It Just Gets Strangerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05343152279468062540noreply@blogger.com