I was wondering why I hadn't seen any all caps comments on my posts, detailing personal and somewhat inaccurate information about myself, in a while.
Gmac is in her late 80s now, and having never been one to embrace the latest technologies with ease, we have all been pretty impressed with her shaky attempts to engage in social media over the years.
I mentioned to you recently that Gmac has a very bad habit of using Bob McCann as her personal tech support, a situation which I have referred to as "the blind leading the dead." I was told that she went to Bob as her first line of defense against the broken Faceoff, and after several hours of "help," the two were in no better a position.
So Gmac reached out to me. And really, she wasn't looking for my help. She was fully aware that I would then loop in Skylar and he, and he alone, would be responsible for this mess.
I invited Gmac over for dinner and then braced Skylar for a very frustrating evening.
Eli: Gmac's faceoff is broken.
Skylar: Why are you telling me this?
Eli: Because she's coming to dinner and bringing her iPad with her so you can fix it.
Skylar: What does "faceoff is broken" even mean?
Eli: Probably that the Facebook app slightly updated.
But I was wrong.
Gmac showed up with Bob and Cathie later that afternoon. She had her cane in one hand and her iPad in the other. She threw the iPad at Skylar as she walked through the door and yelled "get the TV on--I need to watch my Jazz."
There is no more enthusiastic fan of the Utah Jazz NBA team than Darlene Hinkle McCann. I am 1000% convinced that the coach is the sole beneficiary in her will. If I said something negative about any person who has ever played for the team, I would be immediately disowned from this and all other families.
Not wanting to stand in the way of Gmac and her cult-like fandom, I quickly turned the Jazz game on and directed her to the couch.
Skylar sat near her, fiddling with the iPad, which hadn't experienced a software update since Steve Jobs was still wearing turtlenecks. He would periodically ask her basic questions like "what's your email address" and "why is this device covered in Ovaltine," to which she would respond with a phone number she had in the 40s and "oh, is that why faceoff is broken," respectively.
I was cooking so I missed most of the drama unfolding, but at one point I walked into the front room and saw Skylar sitting at the kitchen table with at least three laptops opened up, typing on all of them like he was playing the Mormon Tabernacle Organ and simultaneously working at CTU from 24.
I asked him what was going on and he gave me some vague answer about Gmac having locked herself out of several accounts and how she may be the first person ever to successfully scam a Nigerian Prince and when I asked follow-up questions he "sshhhed" me so I left the room.
Eventually I heard him on the phone with Comcast while Gmac screamed things like "get him out of the game!" and "does anyone have any Ovaltine?" in the background.
I still don't really understand how Comcast got caught up in the whole broken faceoff situation but by the end of the evening (for this took several hours) Skylar had scheduled a call with a Comcast specialist, something I didn't even know one could do, and he sent Gmac home with strict instructions not to use her iPad for any purpose until he could get the government to remove her from a terrorist watch list.
Today is Gmac's birthday. And I love her.
To celebrate her birthday, tell me about your biggest technology blunder. I better hear some good reply all and wrong number stories from you.
~It Just Gets Stranger
One time something happened to my phone and I couldn’t comment on this super cool blog that I read faithfully as myself, so I began commenting as anonymous and signing my name at the end. And then one time I commented from my actual desk computer and it was logged in as my father for some reason and it was super exciting to realize. Such good times.
ReplyDeleteI REMEMBER THAT!!
Deletehahahaha
Also, share your Amazon story—your brief entry into the world of crime.
DeleteWay late to this game, but here is the Amazon story, for anyone still around. My husband called me one afternoon and said, "Have you ordered anything from Amazon recently?" And I answered him, that no, I hadn't, and why was he asking? He asked me, "Did you buy me anything from Amazon?" Again, I told him that I had not, and again asked why he was wondering. He told me that he had been checking on something on Amazon and happened to see our order history and that a $400 gold watch had been ordered, and he knew it wasn't him so he was calling to ask if I had ordered it. I told him of course it wasn't me, and should we report it to Amazon? So he called Amazon, and they looked up our account and said it looked like it had been hacked, they could somehow tell that although the order appeared to be coming from our account that it had someone been accessed. They told us they would cancel the order, and change our passwords, and not to worry, we wouldn't be charged. Fine, great, wonderful. The next day in the mail... a small amazon box... I open it... fancy, shiny, large man's gold watch. I freak. I called Devin, "Do I need to take this to the cops? What is happening?! If someone had hacked our account and ordered a gold watch, why would they send it to us?!" (hashtag first time hacker) So my husband called Amazon again and they said, "nah, don't worry about it, keep the watch." So feeling like a thief, we kept the watch. Then a few days later another order showed up on our account for a gold watch, this one to be mailed to an address in California. So we called Amazon again, and they said, "ok, thanks for letting us know, we'll take care of it, just change your passwords." So I go on to try and change my passwords one more time, but this time it won't let me. I don't know if it was the system was messing with me, or if the hacker had done something to my account but I would change my password, then go to log in immediately and it would not let me. Repeat for days, and I eventually became so incredibly frustrated that I called Amazon and told them I just wanted to close my account, and possibly someday open a new Prime account, but probably not. So I was on the phone with this guy all afternoon, he kept saying, "just a moment, can I put you on hold please?" and I was like why does this take so long? And then at long last he came back on and said, "ok, we have closed your account and will mail you a reimbursement check for $300. Thank you for your business" and then he pretty much hung up. The moral is, someone hacked us, and we came away with a gold watch and $300, none of which we could understand how we came to be the recipients of. I have a friend who works for Amazon and he said, "yeah, things like that happen all the time." So... I don't know, but I guess there are good hackers out there and then there are some that need to keep practicing.
DeleteHahaha Amy! Maybe your fairy godmother is a hack genius?! I would be very all right to go through all that trouble for the goods ;)
DeleteIn middle school, my friend and I were on the phone. We decided to 3 way call a boy she liked, the cousin of the boy I liked. We made the call and got the answering machine. She said she ended the 3 way call, but the mom later answered the phone and said we left a 5 minute message detailing our crushes on these boys, and the entire family gathered around the answering machine to listen.
ReplyDeleteThat's amazing. Oh, answering machines!
DeleteHa. I work in tech support. For an Internet service provider. In a rural retirement community in Arkansas.
ReplyDeleteHow much time do you have?
Ooooh do tell... *gets popcorn*
DeleteI live in a rural retirement community in Arkansas. I must know your stories.
DeleteI third this request as I work in a retirement-like community in Arkansas.
DeleteIn fall 2002 I went off to BYU armed with the ancient laptop my dad had provided me. He's a computer guy so he had essentially assembled one for me out of his store of parts. I had no knowledge of computers really... and later found out that that laptop had a 3.94 GB (!!) hard drive. Not relevant, but just a comment on how much things have changed so fast, since my phone now has 4 times that storage.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this computer also came with a handy feature where one slot could hold the floppy drive (yup) or a CD-rom. One would slide out, the other would slide in. Early in the school year I was trying to put in one or the other, I can't remember which, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me what I was doing wrong. I tried and tried but it wouldn't slide in no matter what. And I mean I really tried everything, shoving down on that drive as hard as I could. When I called my dad to consult he eventually helped me figure out the problem: I'd been trying to insert the drive upside down so the connections of course were not lining up. Worse, I had shoved that blasted thing so hard that I had to pry it out of my computer using the only tool I had available at DT, a table knive stolen from the cafeteria and it took a loooong time...
I let my 88 year old grandmother use my Kindle while I was at work a couple months ago. I had set everything up so all she had to do was open the front cover and swipe. I didn't even think maybe I should disconnect the wifi. When I got back, she had purchased multiple books...books about Nazis and romance novels.
ReplyDeleteThis adorable woman has a hard time trying to figure out how to turn on the radio (hint, press the power button). I am trying to figure out what path she took to get to those books since all of the recommended books on my account are of the fantasy genre.
I think my worst technology moment came when I accidentally subscribed to a porn website. I was trying to find a way to watch . . . Hmm I think the show “Chuck.” It was maybe 2007? This website claimed they had it if I joined, but even after joining and paying, it didn’t work, so I left and didn’t think of it again, until a while passed and my husband saw it on our credit card bill, and then searched what the charge was and discovered it was in reality a porn site. No wonder it didn’t have “Chuck.” Whoops! I was pretty embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteWe have a passive aggressive emailer in our office. She regularly sends emails to the entire building asking if we've forgotten how to do something and offers to help train. If you park outside of the lines she will take a picture of your car and let everyone know that you are the worst at parking and existing. One time she sent an email out and I forwarded it to a different co-worker with a snarky response. A few minutes later I received an email back from him, "Did you mean to reply to everyone on this?"
ReplyDeleteAhhhhhh! It was panic inducing! There was the entire company on the replied email! I ran over to his desk, certain he had made a mistake. He let me go for 5 minutes sweating, heart beating out of my chest, PANIC, before he told me that he had copied and pasted the list to make it look like I had sent it to everyone. Even now when I think about it I start sweating again. I think it took years off of my life, thankfully I didn't actually send it.
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA! I am so doing this to someone the first chance I get!
DeleteNot a technical blunder, but a favorite childhood memory: When my best friend and I were 12, we walked the 2 miles from her house to the mall. We didn't actually have any money (this part is important), but we would use our wiles to get free ice cream samples and the 19 year old balloon guy to flirt with us. Our fun had run out, so we began the walk home, and passed some pay phones. Because we were both original AND hilarious (just ask us!), we made prank phone calls. Again, no money, so our only option was 1-800 numbers. There was a jingle for a closet design company that was forever stuck in our heads, so we called them (1-800-45-CLOSET...Closet World!). A lady answered and I lost all my nerve, so I handed the phone to my friend. In a toddler's voice she said "Hi! I'd like to buy a closet!" And the conversation followed something like this: "Ok, do you have your mother or father nearby so I can speak to them?" "No, but the closet is for me!" My friend kept up the brilliant ruse for a couple more minutes, before a man's voice came over the phone and said: "this call is being monitored by the authorities. Please stay on the line. Any further conversation will be recorded for...." and that's when we hung up and died laughing! We were hardened criminals, and Closet World ain't messin' around with prank calls! And then. Then we heard them. The sirens. Police sirens, wailing in our direction. We were too young to go to the clink! In Southern California, apparently prank calls is an offense punishable by prison time! (Yep, So Cal. Where constant police sirens lull you to sleep. Obviously they weren't actually coming for us.) We ran as fast as our little pre-pubescent legs could take us. There was a bus waiting at a stop, so we jumped onto it. We rode that bus as far as it would take us, which ended up being in another city, that neither of us recognized. And then, at the very last stop, the bus driver had the NERVE to ask us to pay for our ride! Still shaking from our run from the po-po, we had to choke out an answer as to why we were on this bus and beg for mercy. We dug through our purses and found as much change as we could (I'm sure it wasn't even enough for one of our fares), and the bus driver allowed us to stay on for the return ride. And the worst part? The bus driver didn't think our prank call was as hilarious as it OBVIOUSLY was!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. As a mother and former twelve year old, this story is terrifying!
DeleteAmazing, Kina. Will you shoot me an email?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI work at a university. My 1st job was in the dean's office and I handled his appointments, calendar and sending emails for him (this was 19 years ago and he hadn't embraced email yet). I accidentally sent a wrong email out to his entire address book that had sensitive information in it. All I could do was send out another email asking everyone to delete the previous email...which of course made EVERYONE want to read the 1st one...sigh...
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this is a tech blunder, more of a failure to communicate. http://nachista.blogspot.com/2012/06/secret-to-comedy.html
ReplyDeleteWe have all our electronics locked with passwords. My son had figured out the password to the computer but had behaved so I hadn’t worried about it too much. One day they were all just awful so I changed the password to everything including the computer to something I was sure to remember. Well not an hour later I could not remember the password. I tried everything. We could not get in to the computer at all. Apparently forgetting that password is a pretty big deal. Luckily we know a computer guy that had a magic disk that got us back in.
ReplyDeleteBack in my early teens, I spent lot of time goofing around on our giant Windows computer. Since we didn’t realllu have internet yet I spent hours learning the ins and outs of Word and PowerPoint. One day I opened Word and started typing. Out of nowhere a bunch of random words appeared letter by letter as if being typed by someone in the middle of my work. They were real words and kind of coherent but in a very nonsensical way. I deleted it and just figured I’d pressed a weird button or something. I kept typing and the same thing kept happening. The words that appeared were strange but just comprehensible enough to really freak me out. I thought someone had taken over the computer or it was haunted. Turns out I had somehow turned on the dictation feature and it was picking up and trying to make sense of the sound of my typing and the ticking of our clock. Just a glad it wasn’t a ghost.
ReplyDeleteI used to work in my University library. Many adult students would come in to use the library computers and often needed help with the simplest things. It was my job to help them. One time a regular library patron was using one of the computers while I was working. "Help help! Miss! Can you help me!?!? All of my work disappeared!" I run over to help find all of her missing work. She had minimized her word document. I had to explain to her that it wasn't gone, just minimized and what minimizing was. I will never forget her panic.
ReplyDeleteMy worse technology mistake is the person I am living with. And today is my birthday.
ReplyDeleteOh ouch.
DeleteWhen my mother was no longer new to her computer and Word, she called me at work one day to say that her document had disappeared on the screen after she had fallen asleep at her desk (she did this.) As I had had many calls of this kind from her, I diagnosed from 20 miles away. She said tha Word was open and the screen otherwise blank. I asked her if the paragraph marker was visible. It wasn’t, so I suggested that she select the icon. There were many of them down the side. Instructions were to hit backspace until she saw her work. she had fallen asleep with her finger on the return key! I miss my mom!
ReplyDeleteNot so much a technology blunder as a complete technological malfunction. It was the end of my senior year of college and my cell phone started to malfunction. I had one of those phones with the slide-out keyboard, which I had gotten shortly before starting college and held onto for four years out of stubbornness. It started small, with keys sticking, that sort of thing. Then, about a month before the semester ended, I stopped being able to make or receive phone calls unless I was on speaker phone. I figured this out while trying to call campus security about something going on with one of my residents, which was a stressful experience. I figured out that if I slid my phone open, it would automatically switch to speaker phone and I could carry on conversations. This led to me having very private conversations very publicly. Flash forward to the last week of school. I was an employee for residence life, which meant that people needed to call me to set up times to access campus storage. I had to talk to residents that I didn't know at all, while hoping they couldn't hear absolutely everything happening around me. I survived that weekend and graduated, then moved back home. My parents had finally broken me down and convinced me to get a smartphone (this was last year, I'm just really stubborn), but we ordered it online, so it wasn't due to arrive for another month or so. To add insult to injury, a couple weeks before the new phone arrived, my old one freaked out even more. The screen completely blacked out, but the phone was still on. This led to my daily alarms still going off. Since I had had the phone for so long, I had memorized how to turn off the alarms without being able to see what I was doing, but I basically had to wait until the battery died, which took a while because it had a great battery life. I had to switch to my mom's old flip phone until the new one arrived, which almost made me excited to have a smart phone.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to technology, Gmac seems a little..... helpless! A doo wa doo! Helpless...
ReplyDelete(Please accept my gift to you of semi-related Hamilton lyrics commented on every post from now until I lose interest, or eternity, whichever comes last)