*****
Eli: Hey, just to confirm, I'll pick you up at 7:00 tonight. Right?
Her: Sounds good!
Eli: Great! Touch you soon!
Her: Uh . . . that's . . . presumptuous . . .
Eli: I meant to touch youth!
Eli: AHHHH!!!
Eli: TOUCHING is not what I meant! See! I will see you soon!
Eli: Do you still want to go?
Her: Sure. But can we meet somewhere public?
*****
Jolyn: Ugh. Why do they sell meth at the farmer's market?
Eli: Seriously!? I knew it! Remember when I called this!? Which stand? It's those fresh bread people isn't it!? I told you there was something weird about them! The guy with beady eyes!
Jolyn: Uh. I meant meat. But I'm concerned about how not surprised you were that someone was selling meth.
*****
Cathie: How's my special special boy!!?!?!? :) Someone LOVE LOVE LOVES you!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO
Eli: Thanks. But who is this?
Eli: Oh, is this Mandy? BTW, last night was great. What time did you end up leaving? I never heard you get up. Oh, and what's your last name?
Cathie: NOT. FUNNY. Young man!
*****
Kurt: I've noticed that you never really smell good.
Eli: Uh . . . did you mean to send that to me?
Kurt: Yes.
Eli: Oh. Was it a typo?
Kurt: No.
*****
Cathie: No one likes a frowny face so change it to a smile! Turn that frown right upside down and smile all the while!
Eli: Mom, are you drunk again?
Cathie: You know I don't drink!
Eli: Just checking.
Cathie: I only get high on the good stuff.
Eli: Please don't say what I think you're going to say.
Cathie: I'm high on life! Because I love my little boy! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!
Eli: Ugh. There it is.
~It Just Gets Stranger
AH! those were wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI love Cathie so much. Hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteKurt is much more direct than Daniel. I love the practicality.
ReplyDeleteCathie is my mother. Also, the bread people are always the closet druggies, more likely pot as opposed to meth. Not that I know what that is, Cathie.
ReplyDeleteSeriously? No Daniel texts?! You can't cut him out of our lives like this.
ReplyDeleteYes! We need updates on Daniel. Where is he? What is he doing now? How is he adjusting to life off of Palau? Also, Cathie is awesome.
ReplyDeleteI WISH Cathie was my mother.
ReplyDeleteListen, you'd probably smell better if you stopped touching youth and buying meth at the farmer's market. I'm just saying.
ReplyDeleteLOL Love this comment. Maybe we (like I'm a part of it) should give Kurt a tell it like it is.
DeleteKurt definitely needs to receive a TILIS award.
DeleteUh, that would be TILII award. Must be the auto spelling on my PC. . . .
DeleteThank you!!
ReplyDeleteLOL loved the Kurt one. That was awesome.
ReplyDeleteKurt is definitely a keeper.
ReplyDeleteI live in Olympia, WA, they may sell meth at our farmers market.
ReplyDeleteyes this is very possible
Delete~fellow Washingtonian
Tell me about it. (Except not really. Unless you feel an urge to talk about our state's unfortunate acceptance of this.)
Deleteyour mom is hilarious - she reminds me of me :)
ReplyDeleteEvery day you post One of My New Favorite Posts. You are the funniest person I've never met. Thanks for never failing to make me smile. And sometimes choke on my laughter because I read this at work and I don't want to get in trouble. :)
ReplyDeleteThankyou, I sooooo needed that laugh this morning. Just that kind of week. :)
ReplyDeleteWe'd get along SO well
ReplyDeleteThis blog makes me laugh every day. A rare find.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one waiting for you and Jolyn to make it out of the friend zone? (unless you're related... that would be awkward)
ReplyDeleteIs it the downtown farmer's market? I've heard that after chasing all the homeless people out of the park they have to wear hazmat gloves to pick up all the needles and other not-to-be-mentioned things before setting up the stands. Needless to say I've never made it to that farmer's market. But Bruges across the street is fabulous! I recommend the whole menu. :)
ReplyDeleteThe mom texts were great. I actually stopped breathing for a second b/c I was laughing so hard. Cathie. is. awesome.
ReplyDeleteI never did send you my texts with people wanting to buy my minivan without seeing it--even when I told them it came with a pet snake in it. :-)
ReplyDeleteBuahahaha! I love this :) I love Kurt's comments. Not that I think you don't smell good. I think you smell like fresh citrus fruits all of the time! By the way, is that a new brand of cologne you're wearing? It smells heavenly! :) And I love that new shirt on you. Forrest green is a good color, and it makes you look super muscular.
ReplyDeletei think cathie is my spirit animal.
ReplyDeletetouching. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteGoing through Daniel withdrawals. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteI want your phone number so we can have fun conversations all the time. But you don't know me. Sad day. Also, I'm commenting on this over a month after you posted... which goes to show you that I don't read Stranger every day, but I read months of posts at once.
ReplyDelete