Photos of People Having an Authentic Time at my Wedding

I'm going to give you a bunch of details about the wedding with some actual wedding photos, etc. in the coming days. But for now, I want to leave you with this gem.

In the chaos of the morning and the photos with family and friends, someone took my phone. I think it was in my pocket and it was suggested I remove it for the pictures. I don't remember, really. It was all a whirlwind.

At the end of the wedding, my friend Caitlin handed my phone to me, saying she had it for a few hours and "don't worry. I took lots of pictures of people having a very authentic time."

I thanked her for her thoughtfulness and took the phone. On the drive back to the house I started looking through the photos she captured and discovered, well . . .

Delicate Arch

Check out our latest Strangerville episode above (or at the bottom of this post)!

I've been working a million hours the last couple of months and it has been stressful. I can tell when I'm reaching a breaking point because the day-to-day work I do starts to affect me emotionally. Two Sundays ago I was dealing with a bunch of really depressing child abuse situations all day. I was tired. And then I got a pretty run-of-the-mill phone call that sent me over the edge and suddenly I was eating ice cream out of a container with a fork, choking back tears, and searching the internet for poodle mixes.

So I decided I needed a break.

The problem is, this is a really hard time of year for me to take a vacation because for some reason everyone laws all of their laws from January through March, so working a million hours is sort of the norm for me during these months.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

You guys! Look! I Pictured and Distracted! I almost forgot how to do this! The last time we had one of these posts they hadn't even invented electricity yet.

But in even more important news, I have our Snuggie winners. Thank you so much to all of you who shared your kind words about Stranger and your fun memories of this community over the last week. I will cherish the comments section of the ten-year anniversary post for many years to come.

And now dddddrrdrerdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdr (that's supposed to be a drum roll. I don't know how to type it out) our winners of their very own Snuggies and a lifetime supply of meatballs (I'm kidding about the meatballs. Don't try to cash in on that. I only have enough meatballs to supply you for like 12 years) are dddddrerdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdxddrrdrdrdrjkdrjdrdrdrdrkittydrdrddrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrd

Jayne, Jake, and Gretchen

Congrats! So all you guys need to do is go to the store and buy a Snuggie. 

I'M KIDDING CALM DOWN THIS ISN'T A SCAM.

Jayne, Jake, and Gretchen, please shoot me an email and tell me where I can send your Snuggie. I may also slip in some dirty laundry for you to wash and send back. I haven't done it in like 5 years.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

I told some people at work today that I had a court hearing this morning at 9:00, which was true, but what I forgot to mention was that I was able to appear telephonically, which means that I could attend this wearing a t-shirt that I legit slept in. So when I had to run to a meeting literally 5 minutes after it ended, there was general confusion about my choices. And so I tried to explain to them that I attended the hearing telephonically "so that's why I'm still wearing the t-shirt I slept in last night." And then I remembered that actually I have worn a t-shirt to real court because it was an emergency once, but by the time I was finished explaining this, everyone was still focusing on the fact that I slept in the shirt I was still wearing and that I didn't bother to change out of it, regardless of whether or not I needed to go to court. So I made a very responsible choice and did NOT inform them that I had actually slept in this t-shirt for two nights in a row.

So maybe don't take anything I have to say today seriously.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:

Skylar helped Mr. Doodle get his first puppuccinno from Starbucks. 

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

How's my night going? Well after a very long day I was in the drive-through at Wendy's at 11:15 PM and I ran my car into the the back of the car in front of me and that guy stuck his head out of his window and asked me what happened and I actually "SHHHHHH'd" him because I was in the middle of ordering "extra large fries with that" and I was concerned that with this interruption the guy taking my order maybe wouldn't catch that last part and it was really important to me that he got that order. So that's how my day is going.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions:

If this picture doesn't make you happy, then you probably don't even know what America is.

Pioneer Day Miracle

We gathered aboard the raft, the five of us, unaware of the trauma that awaited us. Bats flew overhead, and the sounds of water churning on the cliffs of rocks beckoned us forward, pulling us down the river.

The risk was inescapable. The moment we climbed aboard, we bid farewell to safety and any opportunity to turn back. The calm shore inveigled us into a sense of security that was quickly disposed when the first rabid rapid sucked us into the abyss, like an avaricious swarm of piranha drawn toward anything moving.

Our lack of experience served us what we deserved and betrayed our natural instincts for survival. Our screams echoed off of the canyon walls, the sounds' dissipation a testament to our seclusion that made more terrifying our situation.

Rapid after rapid threatened to do us in, twirling us deeper and deeper into profound disorientation until finally all we had left were our basic senses and each other.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

The other day I wrote about how I'm basically Oprah now because I was on the news. I shared the link to the news broadcast. Well one Stranger, Logan, suggested that everyone troll the comments section of the news link. If you haven't looked at the comments recently, go look now. This is all reminding me of that time nearly three years ago when you all brilliantly trolled that TMZ article asking to help identify Britney Spears's new boyfriend.

Also, OH MY GOSH HOW HAS IT BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE THAT HAPPENED WE ARE GETTING SO OLD.

You Strangers rock my world.

And now, your Pictures & Distractions.

I was criticized for keeping my phone in my front pocket like this so I posted this picture on the Instagram to ask for everyone's thoughts and then I got attacked on Instagram for buttoning my top button and now I don't have self esteem.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

[Please come to The Porch this Saturday night in SLC. Jolyn promises to give a 25-second hug to anyone who wants one. Find info here.]

I think I am the most tired any person could be. This long week is finally coming to the end for me after a few very intense and long meetings and one significant court appearance this afternoon for the sweet client who passed away earlier this year. There is a 92% chance I will fall asleep tonight and stay in bed until November 21st. I'm going to pass out a sign-up sheet for you each to take turns stopping by to feed me and switch out my bed pan. I'm handing it to The Suzzzzzzzzzzzz first and expect she'll proceed to pass it through all of the Strangers in order of height and age.

It is the very least you people could do. Don't make me have to lecture and guilt trip you. I have a very large picture of Jesus ready to show you if needs be.

And now, your Pictures and Distractions:

The crew at Arches, with Delicate Arch in the background.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

I got a haircut today NOT THAT I EVER NEED A HAIRCUT BECAUSE MY HAIR NATURALLY GROWS TO THE PERFECT LENGTH AND THEN STOPS. Anyway, I walked the four blocks from my office in the middle of the afternoon to Ashley at Array Salon (shout out!) and it was eleventy thousand degrees so by the time I got there my whole back looked like I had just gone down a water slide at a disease-ridden water park.

Well, they make you lay down at this place I go to so they can wash your hair before they cut it, which is good because if they didn't my hair would literally never get washed. But today it was mortifying because when I got up from the bench, there was a big sweaty wet mark where my back had been and homegirl had to clean it off. 

You guys. I'm trash. And I'm running out of places I can still go to.

And now, your Pictures and Distractions:

Matt's birthday party.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

Now that Ironman training is really, truly over for the first time in several years, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself anymore. I mean, there's eating and TV, of course. But I don't know what order to do those things in.

I did, however, spend my evening yesterday peeling and chopping mangoes with Anna and Emma because Craft Lake City is baaaaaa-aaaaaack. We will have our usual schyzophrenic Polynesian/Argentinian food stand on Friday and Saturday at Gallivan Center downtown. If you're attending the free festival, (I think it's free?) please stop by and say hi. Tami misses you.

And until then, your Pictures and Distractions:

I somehow got locked in the room I was staying in at Sam's house. I sought help, unsuccessfully, from Young Wade until I finally had to take the door off the hinges using objects I could find in the room. Note the time stamps on the above texts.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

Last weekend I went on a much needed road trip to Jackson Wyoming with my home girls Anna and Emma. We also stopped in the-middle-of-nowhere-Idaho on the way to Jackson and forced our friend Jake into the car. I swear to you that I think I consumed over 100,000 calories in three days. I'm going to have to do ten Ironman races to avoid diabetes. But ya'll. The food is good in Jackson.

Anna emailed us last week to suggest some possible camping spots. Woman-after-my-own-heart Emma responded 20 seconds later with a link to the most comfortable resort turned up by the googles. I emphatically agreed. Glamping commenced two days later. Hashtag it's important to keep people in your life who "get it."

And now, your Pictures and Distractions.

High above Jackson Wyoming and the Grand Tetons.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

Happy Friday, one and all. Tonight I saw Rebecca and her sister hauling her bed out of my home. Now it's quiet.

TOO quiet.

I have a feeling I'm going to come home to find a severed head in the refrigerator tomorrow. A simple message from Jolyn Metro that I haven't been forgotten. But until then, we wait in silence and suspense.

And we enjoy your Pictures and Distractions. (Please feel free to follow me on the Instagrams or the Facebooks, if your heart so desires).

I think I want to use this as our engagement photo.

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE YOUR NEIGHBORS ALONE!

My next door neighbor is somewhere around 275 years old. She has a sign on her door that says "knock loudly." This sign is also accompanied by a picture of the Nativity.

Note: it is August.

I'm pleased that she's 275 years old and basically deaf. For one, I'm 275 years old in my soul so I just feel like we belong together. But also, it's good to have a neighbor with whom I share a wall who most likely can't hear the shower-singing of songs from The Little Mermaid every single morning.

I'm not going to say which person who lives in my apartment is doing this shower-singing because I don't want to embarrass him. I'll just say that it happens every single day. And it's quite enthusiastic. 

Craft Lake City

A few years ago I happened to become friends with several different people who all run catering businesses on the side of whatever it is they do for their day jobs.

Note: I don't really know what anybody does for their day job. I mean, I could tell you where my friends work. I could tell you how long they've been there. I could even tell you what their job titles are in some cases. But I never have any clue what anyone actually does for a living. And, unfortunately, sometimes myself included.

Anna Swayne and my Polynesian friend Emma run food booths at various summer festivals under their little business "Island Hopper." They make unbelievably delicious Polynesian food that accounts for at least 85% of the reason that we are friends.

Life is Really Something Funny

Occasionally I glance back through older posts on Stranger. Usually I keep this walk through memory lane to the Palau posts, because I find them fascinating now that I've been away from Palau for nearly a year and have untangled a lot of the complicated emotions I had there. I rarely look at anything prior to Palau and I almost never read back over anything I wrote before Snuggie Texts, mostly because I can't stand the way I used to write.

It makes me wonder if I'll feel that way one day about what I wrote in 2014.

But today I happened to click on a pre-Palau post about a time that Daniel and I went with Anna Swayne and Ms. Emma to Moab so I could take Paul Cyclemon on his inaugural spin.