I try to be Daniel's surrogate parent whenever possible because yes he's technically a grown-up but not one who can keep himself alive without some monitoring. *See everything I told you about him thinking it's ok to eat eggs that have been left out. Granted, I require monitoring myself, but fortunately it is in completely different areas than those in which Daniel needs extra help.
As a result of my parenting duties, I often take every opportunity I can to have condescending teaching moments with Daniel. These usually backfire, because he's too sarcastic and quick-witted for his own good. Today I give you one example.
Yesterday's Conversation with Daniel in the Car
Daniel: Tutoring actually went really well today. Lots of breakthroughs.
Eli: Yeah? What do you mean?
Daniel: Well the kid learned a lot. And I learned a lot too.
Eli: That's very good Daniel. Because usually the teacher ends up learning more than the student. You should be very proud of what you are accomplishing.
Daniel: Yeah. I learned like 10 times more than he did today. I'm kicking his trash.
Eli: . . . well I don't think it should be a competition.
Daniel: Good thing for him that it's not, because I'm destroying him at learning.
Eli: I want you to take a minute and think about what you just said. [Pause]. Now, do you think that that sort of attitude is conducive to a positive learning environment?
Daniel: Obviously, yes. Because I've been learning a lot in that environment.
Eli: Really? What have you learned?
Daniel: I've learned JUST HOW GOOD OF A TEACHER I AM!!!
Eli: That's it? That's all you've learned?
Daniel: What else should I be learning? I already know everything else.
Eli: You do NOT know everything!
Daniel: Oh really? Quiz me. Any topic.
Eli: How many gallons of water are there in the Pacific Ocean?
Daniel: Twice up the barrel, once down the side.
Eli: Damn. Lucky guess.
~It Just Gets Stranger
This is the reason I stay up til 1 in the morning!
ReplyDeleteI want to be bff's with Daniel. The end.
ReplyDeleteI second that, me too! He sounds like such an awesome character to hang out with. :)
DeleteI think that both of you should become best friends with me... ASAP :-) it rhymed! I'm well on my way to getting my poetic license
ReplyDeleteGo Daniel!
ReplyDeleteThat is my new favorite saying ever. Thank you Eli!
ReplyDeleteDaniel just TUTBODTS you, burn.
ReplyDeleteWell played Daniel, Well played.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean Daniel reads your blog now?
ReplyDeleteJust what I was thinking! Maybe Eli read it to him.
DeleteI read most of the posts to him. Funny you should mention it. I asked him this morning if he had read this one yet to verify my accuracy. He said, "eh. I just assume that if you say anything that makes me look bad, it will get back to me. Then there will be Hell to pay."
DeleteSo I found your blog ages ago via the snuggie text post. I'm good friends with Daniel's older brother, Jacob. We lived around the corner from his family. I have all sorts of embarrassing stories about his childhood. ;) The funny thing is I married Mike Larson, whom you went to elementary school, middle school and I think even high school with. I've been telling Mike about this blog for ages but Mike only made the connection a couple weeks ago that he actually knows you. He was telling me about how you, Mike and Sam got called down to the principle's office in 6th grade and everyone was freaking out when in the end Mike's mom just needed help carrying stuff. Ha ha ha... Mike just walked into the room and is telling me about a rap you made up once upon a time that went "pee salty, poo nutty, pee salty poo nutty." Good times. Keep up the entertaining posts. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a small world! On both counts! I was wondering recently what ever happened to Mike. I haven't seen him in probably 10 or more years. I'll have to tell Daniel about the connection, too. Mike's mom was a long-term substitute teacher for our 6th grade class when our regular teacher went on maternity leave. To this day I still feel anxiety over what we put her through during that time.
DeleteI can't tell you how close I came to using that phrase in a negotiation today.
ReplyDeleteI think Daniel is my spirit animal
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD I WAS JUST THINKING THAT
DeleteWhat kind of music do you listen to?
ReplyDelete