What's that? What was I singing? NEVER YOU MIND what I was singing. It doesn't matter for the story.
Ugh. Fine. I can tell you won't be able to focus on anything else until I tell you. It was "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got! I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the bl--"
No. You know what. I'm going back to my initial position. It doesn't matter. Guys. I still know where I came from.
Kurt was screaming for the insanity to stop by about 5:15.
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, SHUT UP!"
I went in and found Kurt in bed and gave him the usual emphatic morning speech I give him around this time every day.
"Good morning baby sunshine! Today is a BRAND NEW DAY! Today is the FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Remember who you are and what you stand for!"
Then I pinch his cheeks.
The entire time he stares at me with a look on his face that I imagine most people have in prison.
I'm starting to wonder whether I'll be able to list Kurt as a roommate reference later. You guys, I've burned a lot of roommate bridges over the years and don't have many roommate reference possibilities left. Fortunately Daniel was 98 times weirder than I was so we have sort of an unspoken agreement that whenever anyone asks one of us about whether the other of us was pleasant to live with, LIE.
But I was happy this morning. Like I always seem to be in the mornings lately. Then I walked outside.
What. The. Hell.
Remember when I walked out of my apartment to this (pictured below) every morning? (WHY OH WHY DID I EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW HOT IT WAS IN PALAU?)
I need help. Help me. Help please. I can't. Just can't.
Dear fellow winter haters: what do you do to survive November through March?
~It Just Gets Stranger
I spent a good part of last winter camped out in a blanket fort I built in my living room. I sat in it and drank warm beverages and pretended it wasn't NUCLEAR WINTER outside.
ReplyDeleteFair warning, though. If you do this, NOTHING will get done EVER because you'll never want to leave your fort. Also, people judge. As if it's not totally normal for an adult human to live in a living room fort all winter...sheesh.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE the snow. I've lived in Utah my entire life and still can't stand the snow. There's no getting used to it! UGH. Sometimes I flip the bird out the window in protest, but nothing else really helps.
ReplyDeleteI live in Arizona for that very reason.
ReplyDelete^me, too!
DeleteI live in Michigan right now, but miss living in Arizona so very much, for this reason.
DeleteMe too! I can't stand the snow and like southern az for that reason.
DeleteLive in FLORIDA! We have Air Conditioning for the hot months!
ReplyDeleteI curl up under my blankets and refuse to come out until spring. I also get up every morning and give the snow dirty looks in the hopes that it will feel bad and go away. I've also considered spray painting the snow in my yard so at least it isn't so white and depressing. I hate winter with a screaming passion.
ReplyDeleteAvoid going OUTSIDE. Keep the house very warm. Place travel posters of tropical destinations over the windows. Get cd's of tropical bird songs and steel drum music and play on a loop. And most importantly, AVOID GOING OUTSIDE!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEli! Don't you have a snuggie??
ReplyDeleteHa! Time to layer those snuggies and head out the door, son!
DeleteUggg! I despise winter! I live up in Northern Indiana, so our year goes like this: Winter, Still Winter, Summer, Starting Winter.... and repeats.....
ReplyDeleteBest solution: Hibernate in snuggies!
We moved from Chicago down to Alabama 6 years ago and I never ever ever (ever!!!!) want to see that white stuff again! Just seeing the pictures made me shiver. "Cold" now is mid-60's, and I say it with a southern drawl so that I get that look from my daughters because nothing I say is ever with a Southern accent except that it's cold. :) I like the idea of the posters on the windows and steel drum music playing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this. We (my family of 6) are currently stationed in GTMO, Cuba and I do complain about the humidity, the need to be as close to naked as possible, but still abiding by all public exposure laws, when outside. We just moved from Denver, where I complained of shoveling snow 6-8 months out of the year! God bless it all! I want to live in Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average!
ReplyDeleteBest. Comment. EVER!!!!
DeleteI second that
DeleteI third this!
DeleteI put on my coat then go outside. That's when the fun begins! I write my name in the clean snow all over the city. It gets really fun when your friends find your name somewhere!
ReplyDeleteAs much as we would like to change the weather sometimes, unfortunately we can't. You can choose to be happy about it or choose to be miserable. I choose to embrace it and be happy.
Amen to that. I spent a few years hating winter. Then I moved to a place that was basically Arctic and realized it wasn't going to get any better if I continued to hate it. Now if I have to be outside I expect to be cold and I expect to get wet, but I don't hate it. I say, "Gee, this stuff sure does remind me of Christmas!" and then I get in the holiday spirit and ride it until the crocuses appear!
DeleteI chose to move from MI to CA.
DeleteElectric blanket, hot chocolate, good books, hot baths and remembering that Spring always arrives at some point. Also a warm weather vacation sometime in late January or mid-February usually helps, too. (Even just to St. George!)
ReplyDeleteI've lived in Utah all my life, too, except for two years in Rexburg, Idaho, which is actually WORSE in the winter, and although I'm not as passionately hateful of snow as some of you, I don't love it after Christmas. Especially the driving in it part. What I hate is the bone-numbing cold. By January, the only thing getting me through is a hot bath every night.
Crank the space heater in my room to 80 and use a full spectrum lamp whenever possible to trick my body into thinking it's still summer, then plot my escape to California.
ReplyDeleteI live in Washington. Western Washington. It's like the world's most moderate climate. Hot is rare, snow is short-lived. It's just gray a lot. But there's a lot of green to balance the gray. :)
ReplyDeleteI mentally move to Australia for six months. But even then, that doesn't help.
ReplyDeleteHot cocoa with Almond Joy creamer. You will never go back to plain hot cocoa once you've tried it. And lots of indoor time. And listen to the sound of waves on repeat. With the oven on for warmth. Plus, I live 45 minutes away from somewhere that doesn't get snow, so if I get completely crazed by the cold/snow, I just take a day-trip.
ReplyDeleteSome new advice for Kurt: Remember who you are, and don't let it get you down.
ReplyDeleteAnd ... welcome back to Utah!!! I'm happy to say that we have absolutely nothing down here in Utah County. Be jealous!
I live in Nebraska, where the extremes are the most extreme....we get way colder and snowier than Texas, and way more hot and humid than the Dakotas. Seriously, I think you have to be somewhat addled to live here...forever. I try and say "I was born and have lived in Nebraska all my life" with some kind of pride, and the people who are like me will nod and shake their heads, and every other rational person says, "Are you freakin' nuts?" Seriously...look at the weather extremes here between winter and summer; it's insane.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I'm a summer girl and live for warm weather. My husband says he needs to find a human-sized heat rock (like you'd put in a lizard cage) for me in the winter. From pretty much October through mid-May, I'm cold. Then summer hits and I spend as much time as possible soaking up heat.
Winter....I do a lot of starting out the windows at the snow and ice and swearing obscenities under my breath. I try and do "homey" things like make soup and casserole and homemade bread; but I literally and in three layers of clothes at all times. I've learned why the term "Three Dog Night" makes sense (when all three of my terriers curl up with me), and I have a foam rubber brick to chuck at the TV when the ever-so-chipper weather forecasters on "The Weather Channel" announce snow coming my way.
grew up in Miami... moved to NC for my teens-30's... found my heartbeat in Los Angeles for a decade and am somehow back in NC. It's the same latitude but with humidity, so the cold is colder and the hot is hotter, and if I could have my CLIMATE "druthers" I'd rather be in the tropics. Do they MAKE human-sized heat rocks? 'Cuz I want one. I don't need the foam brick because I avoid ALL forms of news, including chipper weather idiots. Would love to get back to LA, where I can ever-so-occasionally "suffer" the cold weather and soak up the hot while all else complain. In Los Angeles, my hair is ALWAYS as FABULOUS as Eli's!
DeleteI replied to YOU because (so far) your post hit the closest to "home" for me. Isn't it WONDERFUL how many of us really despise cold, and wet, and cold-and-wet, and SNOW? I'm HOME with my STRANGERS! YAY!
I live in Canada on the prairies. Cold, snow, windchill factor. Basically when January and February hit we get days where it goes down to -30 F with a windchill of -40 to -50. Pretty much freezes your skin in less then 2-5 minutes. Usually it's only about 5-10 random days like that over the 2 months, but it still stays fairly cold in December and sometimes March. I hate it...my wife doesn't want to move cause all of our family is here...yay. And our driveway is huge...so it takes forever to snowblow it.
ReplyDeleteI want to move to Italy or something.
Mmmmm, Italy...... Me too!
DeleteThat's why I left SLC for the Gulf Coast of Florida. Nice sea breezes, close to the beach, only hot 2 months out of the year with perfect weather the other 10 months.... Okay, plus the occasional hurricane/tornado/tropical storm. I guess there are trade-offs everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI just have to say that the first picture of this post is beautiful. I have lived in Las Vegas for 10 years and it has snowed 1 time. I used to live in Nebraska where it snows all the time. I think it is beautiful to look at and visit, but I would never again live somewhere that it snows every winter. I'll take my 115 degree summers over those awful 25 degree winters any day.
ReplyDeleteAt least you get snow. We just get rain here.
ReplyDeleteSnow is that stuff that makes our mountains look pretty a few days out of the year. Sorry, IDK, it's gonna be 80 and gorgeous tomorrow. SoCal doesn't know what winter is, I've worn shorts on Christmas day.
ReplyDeleteSoup and sweaters are the only saving grace of winter. And count your blessings! At least you don't have to shovel all that snow!
ReplyDeleteSteady dose of Vitamin D and BIG BOY PANTS!!!!! Come on now. Snow makes it so things don't spontaneously combust in July. It's our friend. Now get lots of flannel things
ReplyDeleteand some wool socks, grow a beard and go chop some wood and kill a bear or something cause WINTER.IS.COMING.
I'm from Minnesota aka Lake Woebegone, served my mission in eastern Canada, and it's way easier here, cold/winter wise. I walked to the Trax station this morning in the snow and it was beautiful and still. Here's the thing: when it's too hot there's only so much you can take off. When it's cold, you just dress for it and you're fine. Wear a wool coat, some gloves, a hat and scarf. Scarves are the best. I wear one all winter long, indoors and out. I also put on silk long johns under my dress this morning and I didn't feel a thing. Embrace the winter, for it is fleeting. It's the variety that makes living here (or anywhere) worth it. Of course you could move to Arizona if you want. I escaped that place after 14 years and never regretted it. :-)
ReplyDeleteI was going to say the same thing. I like bundling up. Get yourself a favorite hat or scarf or gloves or something. Maybe you could try wearing Larry around underneath your clothes - or over, whatever. Seems like he'd be good for a little extra winter insulation.
DeleteI don't love driving in snow, but I do like being bundled up and walking around in it - like when I used to go to BYU-Idaho and I'd walk around campus. Maybe it's the nostalgia that keeps me going. It kind of makes me feel like I'm Bob Cratchit or something, and man, how can you be grumpy and miserable if you are thinking you're that guy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfOnQkXsNJg
I live in Wisconsin and hate winter. I curse my Scandinavian relatives who decided to settle in the Midwest 150 years ago. If it wasn’t for family I’d move south, but since I can’t do that here is my advice. Embrace winter now through December. Think of it as one great big Christmas snow globe that you are living in. Then from January though March go straight home from work, wrap up in your snuggie and watch mindless television programs until you fall asleep. If you HAVE to go outside, be sure you have invested in wool socks, warm boots, puffy winter coat, gloves, hats and scarves. Also – purchase some of those super thin silk long underwear, I wear them everyday under all of my clothing and it helps keep the cold at bay.
ReplyDeleteI HATE winter and snow and ice and cold. I've been in denial for WEEKS that its dark at 5:30pm and it's dark ALL OF THE TIME. I miss my bike and the pool and the sun.
ReplyDeleteTo survive.....I catch up on all my TV shows and then I snowshoe. If ya can't beat winter, join it.
I lived in Western MI for most of my life. When the chance to move to Memphis came, I jumped at it. I'm so glad I took the chance! I went from hating snow to really enjoying it. We usually only get 2-3 days of snow over the winter. It does get cold, but I can definitely deal with that. I hated driving in the snow. That was my biggest issue. It's really funny to see the people get all worked up over a few snowflakes! They'll run to Kroger to buy Bunny bread and milk. People will call the university where I work at just the mention of snow to ask if we're canceling classes.
ReplyDeleteI live in Seattle. It's temperate here. That means, it gets warm in the summer, but not too hot. And it gets cold in the winter, but not too cold. Actually, Washington is pretty much perfect for everyone. We have gorgeous mountains, valleys, lovely lakes, rivers, the Puget Sound, the ocean, we have desert, and we even have rainforest. Also, if it gets too cold, we have a Starbucks on almost every corner, and Starbucks has hot chocolate!
ReplyDeleteI grew up in Kirkland and I absolutely 100% agree with your statement. It is the best place to live :)
DeleteMe Too! Except I grew up in Vancouver, BC. It's perfect there. Now that I live in Salt Lake, I rejoice when it snows only because at least it's precipitation.
DeleteSnow is infinitely better than rain. Left Seattle the minute I graduated HS, and haven't looked back in 13 years. SoCal is the place to be. Moderate temps at the beach year round!
DeleteI whine, complain and sometimes even cry when I have to go out in the cold. I HATE it. In fact, I looked at your pictures and shivered and grabbed a blanket. When it snows, I won't leave the house...except to take my daughter to school (unless I can coerce my husband to do it.) My husband takes my daughter out in the snow. I stay home, snuggled up in bed with a book. I HATE winter, hate it with a passion. Fortunately, it hasn't gotten THAT cold here (anything below 75-80 is cold to me, but I can tolerate down to about 50) YET.
ReplyDeleteI live in Hawaii so I use a raincoat.
ReplyDeleteWe all hate you.
Delete;)
I second that, Lee!
DeleteI live in far Northern California, where it actually gets pretty stinkin' cold in the winter and we get snow known as "Cascade Concrete" - it's literally like shoveling frozen concrete. I don't really hate winter, but I've began to despise snow because it is so inconvenient. I'm just putting up with it until I finish nursing school, and then I am moving somewhere were it never ever ever ever snows. I guess I can cross Salt Lake City off the list.
ReplyDeleteThe nifty thing about Salt Lake City snow most of the time is that it's dry snow. Yeah, I know! How can it be dry? Well, for starters, it's in a desert. California is a whole lot closer to the ocean => more humid. So it's not like shoveling frozen concrete (most of the time).
DeleteYou, Kurt, & Daniel... and whoever else... can come live in the swamps on Louisiana with me. It's November and I'm pretty sure it's in the 70's today, but you better believe I'm in a jacket - that's cold here. I mean, it gets colder, but I'm sure you'd be fine if you're used to snow. So, when should I expect your arrival?
ReplyDeleteAs someone who lives in Wisconsin, I can honestly say I hate winter. I've experienced several winters in Rexburg, ID and many in SLC, UT as well. My winters in Wisconsin have been far worse than the other winters combined.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to take your request for advice completely serious (although it's hard to take you serious) and give you some advice that has helped me. Have you ever taken a personal assessment for winter depression or seasonal affective disorder? Here's a wiki blip on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder
I have seasonal affective disorder and honestly plan on moving somewhere warm and sunny as soon as my husband finishes his professional training here. If you want a really informative book on the subject, I'd recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/Winter-Blues-Fourth-Edition-Everything/dp/1609181859/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1383679266&sr=8-1&keywords=winter+blues+everything+you+need+to+know+to+beat+seasonal+affective+disorder
It clued me into treating my winter depression with light therapy and that has made such a difference in my life, as have many of the other recommendations in the book. I'd wager most libraries carry the book.
Other than that I'd recommend a vacation in January or February to somewhere warm and sunny. Good luck coping this winter!
This is by far the best comment yet. I too suffer from S.A.D. which is part of the reason I hate winter so much. I bought a sun lamp which helps some. I try to brighten my home, wear bright happy clothes, and listen to happy, cheerful music.
DeleteMy other reason for hating winter is that I have metal rods that go the entire length of my spine with screws into my pelvic bones. (I have severe scoliosis). The winter is very very painful. One day, I hope to move somewhere warm year round.
Okay, Ellen, you win. I'm going to stop complaining and just shut up.
DeleteI ski. Makes the cold more meaningful. And I wear a puffy coat at all other times. Just think of it. If you and a friend both get puffy coats, you could fake sumo wrestle or run into each other and bounce off.
ReplyDeleteI live in Alaska. I spend several months just hibernating until I see sunshine again.
ReplyDeleteSt. George FTW! ;) lol
ReplyDeleteThank you for getting Jenny from the Block stuck in my head. All. Day. Long.
ReplyDeleteThat is crazy! I thought going from 70 degrees to 45 degrees overnight was a little much last week, but you definitely beat my bewilderment of NYC weather.
ReplyDeleteI just make out. Keeps me nice and toasty.
ReplyDeletePray. And be grateful you don't have to drive, crippled with fear, a half hour commute to work like some of us Strangers. Oh, and invest in some of those Yak Trax for your shoes. They help. People make fun of me because my shoes look weird. Then I make fun of them as they fall on their butts and look up at me from the vantage point of my awesome (and weird looking) shoes. Just sayin.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I love snow. Cold doesn't matter; that's what clothes are for.
ReplyDeleteActually, one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen was waking up at 3 a.m. and going outside to see the fresh snow. I could have looked at it for hours.
I moved to Atlanta. Occasionally we get an inch or two of snow once during the winter, and the whole city shuts down and you get to stay home from work!
ReplyDeleteOur Norwegian friends tell us, "there's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes"
ReplyDeleteWhen I little girl in Russia, we have toilet outside. One time the cold was very bad, and when I sat on toilet and took care of business, I stay stuck on toilet because pee freeze! Such bad memory! Good for you you have toilet inside when it cold outside, yes?
ReplyDeleteI live in New Zealand, so it's coming into summer at the moment, and I have already had to wear shorts a few times. I never get snow where I live, so I am very envious of your current situation!
ReplyDeleteMaybe use this weather as an excuse to curl up on the couch with a snuggie?
With some thermal underwear you'll be sweet as!
Well, as someone who lives in Australia and has never seen snow, having read all the stranger's comments I may have to re-think those romantic thoughts of moving to a snowy clime! Our summer is still 1 month away and today we had 38 deg C (that's your 100 deg F) and regularly have spells of 115. The flip side is that our coldest day of winter was a chilly 32 (our zero). And we only occasionally see rain. Even in winter! Maybe we should all switch houses for a week...
ReplyDeleteSnow is beautiful, the way it freezes the trees and the limbs, the way the sun shines off of it. And yes, snow can be romantic. Taking a walk and coming back to hot cocoa, snuggling up with someone to get warm, reading a book together or watching a movie with just the 2 of you or the whole family.
DeleteSledding, making your own snow cones (I know it sounds gross but growing up in UTAH, we would put fresh snow into a cup and sprinkle sugar on it... instant FREE snow cones), building snow forts and snowmen.
Winter is what you make it, I don't like being cold or driving in it.. but I love to watch my kids enjoy it. That day that Eli took the picture from, my youngest got up in his pj's and opened the door because he wanted to play right then and there... not get dressed. LOL
I live in Ohio... yea, I try not to go outside once it gets cold an gross and snowy (realistically, it doesn't work out so well). I really think I could never see snow again, and be perfectly OK.
ReplyDeleteI live in the frozen wasteland called cache valley, and I love the snow... It's fun to play in, and it's pretty! I should shut up now before you all attack me...
ReplyDeletei am a fellow winter hater and i typically survive by using space heaters and tons of blankets. snow can be beautiful, as long as i'm not expected to touch it in any way, shape, or form.
ReplyDeletebut seriously, can't trixy and her 139 cat friends keep you warm?
I live in Southern Cali. I don't know what this winter thing is of which you speak.
ReplyDeleteMy sympathies go out to Kurt!! I think I would go crazy if I had a roommate like you Eli, there is no room for singing at 5 in the morning... Singing should not start until 8 at the very earliest! Mornings are not a happy thing, and if someone tried to pinch my cheeks in the morning there is a very high probability that they would get hit. My family and friends have all learned not to mess with me in the morning:)
ReplyDeleteI live in Colorado so I understand your feelings on snow, winter seems to take up more than its fair share of the year. I live inside curled up in blankets as much as possible during the snowy months. It's a good thing the snow is pretty
I personally LOVE the snow.
ReplyDeleteFirst snow of winter for me was just two days ago.
I cheered excitedly and I think may have terrified my friend because the second I saw her I ran up to her, started hopping up and down, and yelled that it was snowing.
I, however, don't like the cold aspect.
Huddle in front of the heating duct things. Drink a hot beverage. Burn your tongue. Focus on the pain instead of how cold you are.
Said friend just protested saying she wasn't terrified.
Seeing as she yelped and had really wide eyes when I started hopping and yelling, I'm disregarding her defense.