Which got me thinking: I exaggerate an exceptional amount on Stranger. I think somewhere around 10% of what I say is literally true. And for the most part, everyone just rolls with it. But I finally found your breaking point. And that breaking point is overstating how far I had to drive to get somewhere.
AND I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. (I love you guys. I seriously wish you could have seen how giddy it made me that several of you called me out on this. You are wonderful.)
And now, your Pictures and Distractions. (Please feel free to
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| It is amazing the amount of crap Ms. Hannah Rose gets me to do. |
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| Matt swears he took this candid shot of Ollie RIGHT after telling him that he was going to come spend the day with me. |
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| Ollie hanging out on the couch with Rebecca. |
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| I frantically saved this bike, which Bob bought in 1967, from a certain death when I found out Bob and Cathie had planned to give it away. Hashtag hoarder. |
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| Yard work in Bob and Cathie's beautiful back yard. |
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| I carved pumpkins with Matt. Mine is NOT the one with the cat. |
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| Per your demands, I got a haircut--and the specific haircut that was suggested last week (Thanks Michelle and Dana!). Also, I would like to name this picture "Shoulder Angels." |
*****
Stranger Picture of the Week
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| Spotted by Becky in the SF Bay Area. |
Crap to distract you from whatever you're supposed to be doing:
The cat clutch! Thanks, Emilie.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was confused (until age 23 . . .). Thanks, Kaitlyn.
Bad taxidermy. Thanks, Matt.
Amazing response to a text scam. Thanks, Matt.
The clowns terrorizing California. Thanks, Kimbally.
And an article about how clowns became terrifying. Thanks, Paul.
Kramer's 15 best ideas. Thanks, Jake.
The most ridiculous fight scene ever filmed. Thanks, Chad.
The ten worst horror films of all time. Thanks, Julie.
If you would like to have something included in Pictures and Distractions, please email me at itjustgetsstranger@gmail.com.
~It Just Gets Stranger
The Bad Taxidermy link takes me to Gmail. Did you copy the wrong one?
ReplyDeleteThanks! Fixed now.
DeleteI've taken several of those pictures at Lagoon! They're awesome.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Becky, where in the Bay Area did you find that Queen of Colors lab experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong?! I have to know so I can avoid it like the plague...
Hypothetically, if I were to say--live in Boulder and, hypothetically, show up at the Iron Man complete with sign-age and chants that rhyme lamely with your name (do people cheer along the route at Iron Mans? Or is it just too hardcore for that?)--how creeped out would you be? Hypothetically. Duh. Because I don't. (Really I don't.)
ReplyDeleteI'd totally join you on this (hypothetically).
DeleteI'm in, too! Or, I would be, if such a thing were to happen...
DeleteUm. . . Just please don't make promises unless you intend to keep them.
DeleteLove this hypothetical idea!
DeletePlease make a sign that says "YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREAT!"
DeleteI believe you meant "shoulder demons". There's nothing angelic about those two.
ReplyDeleteEggs must be confusing to a lot of people... I had a friend in high school that SWORE eggs were made in factories.
ReplyDeleteThat's not the Queen of Colors, that's Beyonce the Big Metal Chicken! http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/
ReplyDeleteThe Q of C and Beyonce are mortal enemies. But then again, everyone is a mortal enemy to the Q of C.
DeleteIt's because she's hot Eli, that's how she gets you to do all those things with her. Are we allowed to stalk....I MEAN follow Miss Hannah?
ReplyDelete:D
I kid, I kid...
....seriously though...she is so totally hot in that picture.
I think actually it was probably Eli who convinced her that dressing up was a good idea.
DeleteI think you're probably right. Anything to capture his hair in a picture. Notice he's not wearing a cowboy hat? That should have been my first clue.
DeleteStalking is not kosher. Also, I already tried it. Luckily for this particular Ms. Hannah Rose, she's not too easy to find on the internet. Add to that, we don't know if Rose is her last name or middle name or where she lives.
DeleteEli, (as someone who is a wee bit paranoid about internet safety, NOT as someone who is threatening anything) I suggest you keep it that way for her safety.
"...because I had to drive "halfway across the country." And you guys FREAKED THE HELL OUT in the comments... Because SLC to Tahoe is apparently NOT halfway across the country. And it is offensive to anyone who has ever driven halfway across the country that I made such a claim... I exaggerate an exceptional amount on Stranger. I think somewhere around 10% of what I say is literally true."
ReplyDeleteYou are hysterical, Eli. TWO people out of THIRTEEN comments does not equal "freaking the hell out". Since I am proud to be one of the two, I will also point out that I think your estimate of "literal truth" is also a tad high. When you post about a political or religious topic that is near and dear to your heart, you might be giving us more than 10% truth, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm gonna have to say it's closer to 3%, which I know, in your mind, is EXACTLY the same thing as 10%. We love you, even if you're terrible at maths and distances and recognizing Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken. I just wish you hadn't accused me of FREAKING THE HELL OUT. I can be a grammar nazi and a maths nazi, but I rarely Freak. The Hell. Out.
(I think I'll make that my phrase for the day or the weekend, so thank you for that.)
Freak.
The Hell.
Out.
Oh Emelle. I just love you.
DeleteHey, hey, he said comments, Facebook, and emails, so while we can't expect his math to be correct in how many people wrote him upset about his driving comparisons, it was at least more than two out of thirteen comments on his blog. Unless you've found a way to stalk his email and know he's lying about that . . . But that still leaves Facebook.
DeleteOne summer, my mother and I drove from Provo, stopped in Indiana, and ended up in Bar Harbor, Maine. That was a looooooong drive.
Also remember, 90% of what he said is embellishment.
DeleteThank you, Eli. I love you, too.
DeleteAnd Michelle, you have no idea. I could very well be the Q of Stalking. Or not. Like I said, you have no idea.
And Lee, obvi. 90% of his idea of non-embellishment is still bad maths. Or something.
No worries, anyone. Let's all just Freak. The Hell. Out! (Party Like It's 1999?)
I didn't say anything but having driven halfway to ¾ of the way across the country more times than I'd care to admit, my blood pressure did spike momentarily because really, Tahoe is practically next door when you consider all the other Ironman locales.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anonymous.
DeleteI officially ship Hannah Rose and Eli. We need a ship name now... Elannah Rosi? (because you have to have the Hannah, and the Rose part in there)
ReplyDeleteMcCannHann.
DeleteDude, where are you pointing that gun??? The Freudian imagery is a bit much. CATHIE SHOULD NOT SEE THAT PHOTO, ELI!!!!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't going to say anything, but I noticed that too. LOL. Also...it's probably just the color of the picture and the angle, but it appears as though the only thing covering Hannah's top, is that fan.
DeleteI saw some of those comments where people were freaking OUT about the distance thing. Do people really have nothing better to do??
ReplyDeleteAlso, in that picture with Hannah, you kind of look like a serial killer. Just sayin.
Agree. We know Eli exaggerates. Why get upset about an exaggeration about how far he had to travel?
DeleteWait, ELI EXAGGERATES??!? But... how... why....? Now I don't know what to believe anymore! Did hundreds of mole rats NOT infest his house in Palau? Does he NOT try to take his clothes off in public every chance he gets? IS THERE NOT AN EVIL CHICKEN TRYING TO KILL HIM AT ALL TIMES?? This just changes my whole world view. ::sobs quietly::
ReplyDeleteOh YAY, I got a shout out on Stranger... my life is now complete!!!! And by they way, Eli, your hair looks FABULOUS!!! ;)
ReplyDeletePlease, PLEASE go read the pandemonium that is happening about the discontinuation of Betty Crocker Rainbow Chip frosting. People are describing how this is ruining ALL THE LIVES, and it is truly amazing.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.bettycrocker.com/products/frosting/richandcreamyrainbowsprinklefrosting
I'm just glad you finally explicitly stated that your stories are exaggerated...I've always thought that, but was so afraid they weren't. I will definitely sleep easier tonight.
ReplyDelete