Eli: How old do you think Fabio is?
Skylar: Gosh. This feels like one of those "guess how many marbles are in the jar and win a prize" questions.
And I'm telling you, this felt like a very accurate statement. Because is Fabio 85 or 30? Or 50? Or did he live in another era entirely and have absolutely no overlap at all with my life?
HOW OLD IS FABIO?!
I really wish I knew how to Internet and find out. This is important.
And now, your Pictures & Distractions:
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| Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like a Methodist preacher at The Porch!? |
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| Lagoon selfie with Hannah Rose! |
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| My Christmas cactus is in bloom and apparently confused about what season it is. I blame it on the stores that already have Christmas decorations for sale. |
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| In my Snuggie and in front of the fire. |
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| I drilled holes and installed the hardware on my island cabinets without Matt's help! Matt WHO?! (Just kidding. Matt Pants.) |
Crap to distract you from whatever you're supposed to be doing:
My Survivor recap of the week with accompanying scandalous photos.
Best tweets about Vivint Smart Home Arena. Thanks, Brianna.
Auctioning off the world's largest cat painting. Thanks, Janel.
Ken the Internet troll. Thanks, Brittany.
The hair song. Thanks, Anna.
I am so sorry about this. I wish you had seen my reaction to this in real time. Thanks, Haley.
This woman loves her kayak. Thanks, Skylar.
Graduate school Barbie. Thanks, Dan.
Man creates a sovereign nation in Utah. Thanks, Suzanne.
Please follow us on the Facebooks and the Instagrams.
If you would like to have something included on Pictures & Distractions, please email me at itjustgetsstranger.com.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Eli! You included the same link for the hair song AND for your apology, courtesy of Haley.
ReplyDeleteI righted that wrong! Sorry and thank you.
DeleteDid you hear about that time Fabio got hit in the face with a bird while riding a roller coaster? That sounds like the start of a bad joke but it's a true story. He is truly an enigma.
ReplyDeleteI remember reading that story in a Dave Barry column many years ago. Maybe since Dave Barry was (is?) a humor columnist that doesn't add any credibility, but I'm sure his stories were at least as close to the truth as Eli's blog posts. So maybe Fabio one time saw a bird while he was standing by a roller coaster? Or maybe he ate fried chicken while driving past a theme park?
DeleteIt was a goose.
Deletehttp://www.dailypress.com/entertainment/blog/dp-popcorn-fabio-goose-0814-story.html
I think Eli has another alias besides June Snapple -- KEN!!!
ReplyDelete56
ReplyDeleteBy the way, that's Fabio's age. He isn't timeless, Paul Simon is
DeleteSome days I feel like REAL JOB SKIPPER.
ReplyDeleteYou don't even look a little bit like a Methodist preacher. But you look pretty much exactly like a trying-to-be-hip, young pastor of a generic evangelical church.
ReplyDeleteMethodist: http://www.lonestarq.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Screen-shot-2014-02-10-at-8.55.43-AM.png
Hipster evangelical: http://images.christianpost.com/video/full/6124/how-are-young-leaders-shaping-the-future-of-christianity.jpg?w=640&h=416
It's a rookie mistake, but an understandable one.
Thank you for this very helpful correction.
DeleteEither way Ken, um, I mean Eli, I think you've got your Halloween costume sorted out for tomorrow night.
DeleteA hipster preacher would be a *really* funny Halloween costume if you got the accessories right and were hanging out with a group that would appreciate it.
DeleteI wish that I'd had that idea before today. Hipster pastor and hot wife(TM) would be a great ironic couples' costume, and all my boyfriend would have to do is hold a Bible and wear his normal clothes. :( I guess he'd also need a fake Tungsten wedding band.
I think I just killed my coworker with that staggering beauty link.
ReplyDeleteTami's looking good! I love her haircut.
Fabio is ageless. Everyone knows that.
ReplyDeleteVivint Smart Home Arena - I laughed and felt guilty. Provo All-Stars are people, too!
ReplyDeleteKen M. OH MY GOSH. Toss up between the bacon and the potato comment taking the cake. Laughed out loud.
RHETT & LINK!! Love them.
In the last post with the video from The Porch, I was watching it on my phone, and you were very small so I honestly thought you were wearing a turtleneck and a fanny pack! I was VERY concerned about this, but since I'm a polite person, I wasn't going to point it out - I mean, I will now, but still.....From what I could see, I thought it looked like this http://i.imgur.com/TrwuNH2.jpg I'm so relieved that it was a button up under a sweater!!
ReplyDeleteIs that...The ROCK? Oh help me, I cackled until I choked! OH. MY. Halloween costume if the Hipster Pastor doesn't work out?
DeleteKina
I know everyone thinks you're actually Ken M., but I'm thinking Lee.
ReplyDeleteSome people think I'm Lee. So technically everyone could be right on this.
DeleteIt's clear that Michelle is Eli as well. You live a tangled web of lies, sir.
DeletePopcorn in the fridge...?
ReplyDeleteSHAKE VIGOROUSLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY?! WHYYYYY
ReplyDelete