Instant Messaging with Connie

Connie: Hi! How have you been?

Eli: Great! Just about to head out to the beach! How are you?

Connie: Wonderful. Wish you were in town this weekend. We could find a really wild party to go to.

Eli: Ugh. After the last one you took to me to, I think I'll be in recovery for another four years.

Connie: Didn't you enjoy it? I thought it was fun!

Eli: NO. Remember how I had to find my own way home because you disappeared around 2:00 in the morning. And I don't remember--did you ever find your shirt?

Connie: Who knows? They're opening a new club just across the border and I wish I didn't have to go alone.

Gchat with Bob & Cathie

 

My three-way gchat with Bob & Cathie today

Bob: Son. How are you? I have been so worried about you since reading your blog post.

Eli: Oh dad, don't worry about me. I'm doing really well actually. Just trying to be better about talking about my struggles.

Cathie: How's my boy?!?!?! [12 different emoticons]

Messaging Krishelle

There's a recessive gene that stops people from understanding technology. Those people can't help their ignorance and should be given extra, nonjudgmental, help. G-Mac has it. My dad has it. Despite being relatively proficient with technology, my mom is apparently a carrier because I have it, too. It looks like this:

Bob: tt
Cathie: Tt
My Sisters: Tt
Eli: ttx*

*x signifies a mutation that enhances the features of the gene it trails.

This problem has led to many nonsensical conversations with my oldest sister, Krishelle, similar to the one we had via gchat a few days ago:

Gchat with Krishelle

Eli: When I move back to the US, will you help me get one of those phones that you can do internet on from anywhere?

Krishelle: Um . . . A smart phone? You know you already have one of those. I gave you my old one about 6 months before you moved to Palau. Remember? I taught you how to use it? We had a whole lesson one night. You asked me to show you "the ways of this so-called phone magic."

IM Convo #2

~The following was my IM convo with Krishelle while we were at work today, explaining my strange dream last night that is probably the result of too much school this week. . .

McCann, Eli W. says:
I had a long dream last night that you got fired for removing holds


McCann, Krishelle says:
I wish

McCann, Krishelle says:
sort of


McCann, Krishelle says:
that's really funny

McCann, Eli W. says:
So we had to go to court and I had to prepare the case and Krisanda and all the kids came to be witnesses.

McCann, Krishelle says:
oh no


McCann, Eli W. says:
and my old roommates too

McCann, Krishelle says:
did we win?


McCann, Eli W. says:
well the judge had a long black mullet and the jury seemed shady

McCann, Krishelle says:
and why would we have to go to court?

McCann, Eli W. says:
because we were suing the bank for firing you for shady reasons


McCann, Krishelle says:
oh I see...

McCann, Eli W. says:
because under the standard of a reasonable person, the checks should have been made available


McCann, Krishelle says:
that was our argument?

McCann, Eli W. says:
It was so weird. but I woke up and thought that was real

McCann, Krishelle says:
I love it

McCann, Eli W. says:
Yeah I got up in my opening argument and said "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present for you today the sad sad tale of a girl who was just trying to do her job. A girl who was oppressed by the system. A system of hate and discrimination. One which not only doesn't value the actions of a reasonable person, but smears that person with pernicious lies and deception!"

McCann, Krishelle says:
that opening argument is hilarious

McCann, Eli W. says:
Can I go home?

McCann, Krishelle says:
oh me too?

IM

This is my IM convo with my sister the other day so you can get a feel for what work is like. (By the way, soale is a word we made up that can mean anything and it's way overused).

McCann, Krishelle says:
soale!

McCann, Krishelle says:
no soale back?

McCann, Eli W. says:
soale :(

McCann, Eli W. says:
notary :(

McCann, Krishelle says:McCann, Krishelle says:
hate them :(

McCann, Krishelle says:
how's today?

McCann, Eli W. says:
soale!

McCann, Krishelle says:
soale :) or soale :(?

McCann, Eli W. says:
soale :(

McCann, Krishelle says:
oh no why?

McCann, Eli W. says:
notary. Tosally soale.

McCann, Krishelle says:
tosally....

McCann, Krishelle says:
we should submit soale to wikapedia

McCann, Eli W. says:
I agree. It's really important

McCann, Krishelle says:
it is really important

McCann, Krishelle says:
and people will want to know what it means

McCann, Eli W. says:
I'm sure it would get a lot of hits

McCann, Krishelle says:
I'm sure it would! IT's a question a lot of people have been asking

McCann, Eli W. says:
can you come get me

McCann, Krishelle says:
I was just there I waited out in my car honking for like 15 minutes and you never came out...

McCann, Krishelle says:
so, I came back to work

McCann, Eli W. says:
crap!

McCann, Krishelle says:
sorry should I come back?

McCann, Eli W. says:
yes please

McCann, Krishelle says:
ok but you owe me for gas

McCann, Eli W. says:
ok

McCann, Krishelle says:
40 million

McCann, Krishelle says:
that's just an estimate

McCann, Eli W. says:
ok. I'll transfer it over now

McCann, Krishelle says:
ok great thanks...I'll be there at 2:28

McCann, Krishelle says:
so just come out when I honk

McCann, Eli W. says:
k

McCann, Eli W. says:
so you're here right now?

McCann, Krishelle says:
yea come on out

McCann, Eli W. says:
k, just let me get my soale

McCann, Krishelle says:
just get in whatever car is running

McCann, Krishelle says:
ok great!

McCann, Krishelle says:
where should we go?

McCann, Eli W. says:
st george, park city outlets and costa rica

McCann, Krishelle says:
ok let's go...I'm waiting

McCann, Eli W. says:
Are you the lady with white big hair in the '88 Cadalac?

McCann, Krishelle says:
is the car running?

McCann, Eli W. says:
yup

McCann, Krishelle says:
if so then hop in...I had to wear a disguise

McCann, Eli W. says:
ok, cool. FYI, I'm disguised too so I'm the old man with stringy long black hair and go go boots getting in the passengers side.

McCann, Krishelle says:
oh great thanks for letting me know...I was a little confused

McCann, Eli W. says:
btw, how are you IMing if you're in the car?

McCann, Krishelle says:
wait what???

McCann, Krishelle says:
I'm so confused...

McCann, Krishelle says:
maybe that's not me.

McCann, Eli W. says:
I don't think it is actually

McCann, Krishelle says:
oh no get out of the car quick before she notices

McCann, Krishelle says:
so Loraca is oging to costa rica next week!

McCann, Eli W. says:
shutup

McCann, Krishelle says:
for a week and a half and going on the zipline

McCann, Eli W. says:
I hate her!

McCann, Krishelle says:
I am so jealous!

McCann, Eli W. says:
why are we not in Costa Rica like right now?!

McCann, Krishelle says:
good question

McCann, Krishelle says:
cause you never came out when I was honking

McCann, Eli W. says:
whatev. I was in the car going all over this valley checking every dollar store for hats with that old lady for 2 hours!

McCann, Krishelle says:
well itr's not my fault you got in the car