A Conversation with Daniel about Deviled Eggs
Eli: Um . . . why are there . . . [counting] . . . SIXTY deviled eggs in the refrigerator!?
Daniel: For an afternoon snack.
Eli: For whom?! Are we hosting a town hall meeting here?
Daniel: Just for us. I thought you liked deviled eggs?
Eli: SIXTY?! Why did you make SIXTY deviled eggs?!
Daniel: Well, it was sort of an accident.
Eli: How can someone accidentally make sixty deviled eggs? This isn't like tripping or snagging your sweater. Making deviled eggs sort of takes a conscious effort.
Daniel: I know, but see, I meant to only make thirty so I boiled thirty eggs and I forgot that I would cut each in half and effectively double the amount of deviled eggs.
Eli: Nevermind sixty! WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO MAKE THIRTY DEVILED EGGS FOR TWO PEOPLE!?!
Daniel: Thirty deviled eggs for two people wouldn't have been a lot. I agree that sixty is too much. But if I had only made thirty, that would have been only 15 each.
Eli: In what world is 15 eggs each an appropriate amount of afternoon snacking?!
Daniel: Look how small they are! That is not a lot of food!
Eli: Have you never heard of cholesterol?!
Daniel: Yes! That's why I did it!
Eli: . . . I don't think you understand how cholesterol works.
Daniel: I do too. Isn't that the one that makes your bones really strong?
Eli: No that is not the one that makes your bones really strong! That's calcium!
Daniel: Oh. Same thing.
Eli: Not the same thing at all actually!
Daniel: Relax. Cholesterol never killed anyone.
Eli: Actually it did. It killed a lot of people.
Daniel: Well I'm sorry that I'm not an expert on nutrition!
Eli: I'm guessing you're going to put this conversation on Stranger?
Daniel: Yup.
Eli: You're going to switch the names so it looks like I'm the one who made sixty deviled eggs and didn't know what cholesterol was, aren't you?
Daniel: Yup.
Eli: But I'll definitely switch the names back around at the end of the post.
Daniel: Why?
Eli: Because I want credit for the joke at the end.
Daniel: What joke at the end?
Eli: Why can't you tease egg whites?
Daniel: No.
Eli: Because they can't take a yolk!!! GET IT?!?!? YOLK!?!?!
Daniel: You do know that saying "get it" and repeating the punch line after every joke doesn't make it any funnier?
~It Just Gets Stranger
So... I'm getting a daffy duck/bugs bunny vibe going on here (duck season, rabbit season, duck season, rabbit season, rabbit season, duck season, fire!).
ReplyDeletePlease keep the eggs out of the car.
I'm sure glad Daniel wasn't doling out advice at the Non-Communicable Disease table at Etpison Cup last weekend.
ReplyDeleteDaniel didn't know what cholesterol was? Lucky guy!
ReplyDelete"You do know that saying "get it" and repeating the punch line after every joke doesn't make it any funnier?"
My friend asks me this all the time. :/
Well played.
ReplyDeleteI see what you did there. Classy. Poor Daniel.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering when Daniel started cooking...
ReplyDeleteI totally had to reread it once you revealed your sneakiness. It made so much more sense. :P
ReplyDeleteAnd, to make you feel better, the cholesterol in eggs really isn't that bad for you. There is good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, and eggs are good for you. But 15 at one time? O_O
I love that Daniel's response to your jokes always seems to be NO. So funny you two!
ReplyDeleteAt least you refrigerated the eggs, if Daniel had really made them they'd probably still be out on the kitchen counter.
ReplyDeleteI really started reading this thinking better of Daniel. Like, "Oh, look! He learned to refrigerate eggs!" And, "Wow, he's not so straight laced! He's kind of daffy!" But no. That was you. All of which is totally to be expected.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I was thinking the same thing! :)
DeleteBahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap. That is a LOT of deviled eggs. Leotrix is gonna have a field day!
Oh Eli..... Thanks for making me laugh.
ReplyDeleteHi Eli. It's been too long. Heard you've been cooking up a storm. Must stop by soon.
ReplyDeleteLeotrix
PS. You what goes really well with deviled eggs. Cake! Just sayin'
http://www.cupcakeproject.com/2012/05/deviled-egg-frosting.html
Deleteplease share your deviled egg recipe. thanks
ReplyDeleteNothing special at all. Just make sure you use a little mustard and pickle juice!
DeleteNo paprika? :)
DeleteSince we're sharing recipes now...how about throwing out Daniel's chocolate cake recipe? I promise not to leave any out where Leotrixs might be lurking.
DeleteI think you need to marry my best friend, she loves deviled eggs, and you would never hear her complain about having sixty of them in her fridge.
ReplyDeleteGross Daniel. Just gross.
ReplyDelete