Axel appears to have left me. On the way out he was all, "I'm gonna find a new family who will appreciate me!"
And I was like, "Why does everyone I love always leave me!"
And he was all, "Because you don't shower or wash your clothes and you talk too much! Plus you spend two hours every day practicing thank you speeches in the mirror for winning unimpressive awards!"
And I was like, "First place at county hog wrestling in Oklahoma is NOT unimpressive!"
And he was all, "You're not even doing the correct accent! There is no reason to stay with you! None!"
And I was like, "What about cheesecake!?"
And then he stayed for another two days. But now it looks like he's pretty dead. And I'll miss him. It was the first time in my life that I've ever felt like I had a tattoo. It made me seem cool. People would run away from me at the gym because my tattoo made me look so fierce and intimidating.
By the way, I'm pretty sure Axel entered my life about three minutes before I shot this video in Hong Kong. I would like to formally apologize to Axel's family for taking him so far away from home.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Farewell Axel.
ReplyDeleteI'll miss Axel. He wormed his way into all of our hearts.
ReplyDeleteAxel lived in the circle of trust for so long. Now his life will ring in our memories forever.
ReplyDeleteSmall Town. Cats. CROCHET. NEPHI-FLURKING-UTAH!!! There's a 10, 000 year old woman there who charges $1.00 for a 30 min crochet lesson. She also drinks a glass of her own urine in the morning for health and stamina. My neice taked crochet lessons from her and can now crochet like a grandma.
ReplyDelete*takes. No that's a lie. In meant taked when I said it.
DeleteWait, what did I just read?
Delete-Brie
Can you believe it?!? $1.00 for a 30 min crochet lesson. It's a bargain at thrice the price.
DeleteBut if you move to a small town then pretty soon everyone will have seen you naked and where's the fun in that?
ReplyDeleteAu revoir, dear Axel. We will miss you.
ReplyDeleteThere was about a nine second pause in the middle of the video where you expressed so much with your eyes! It was like, I knew what you were saying without any words!
ReplyDeleteSo Axel is Chinese?
ha ha!
DeleteThat video makes me so happy.
ReplyDeleteMoving to a small town with a bunch of cats and crocheting is pretty much my life's goal. Actually my true life goal is to do absolutely nothing and still make a living and survive.
ReplyDeleteYou were worried about being trafficked when it turns out.... you trafficked Axel! Poor little guy thought he was coming here for a better life and he just ended up in the streets yet again....
ReplyDeletehttp://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/ee/00/04/ee00047b5b295680051a3f7c00ef0a07.jpg
ReplyDeleteGuard your heart -
Nice. I cannot un see that!!!
DeleteOhhhh gosh. I cannot un see that either!!! I'll probably have a nightmare about it. haha
DeleteWhat does Axel know about Oklahoma accents? I'll let you know if it sounds authentic just as soon as you win that award.
ReplyDeleteEli - you have a perpetually freaked-out look on your face in that video. Was there, perchance, a ninja stalking you?
ReplyDeleteHe was fun while he lasted, eh?
ReplyDelete