Last night I made it back to the land of coconuts. Daniel picked me up at the airport at 8:15, drenched completely in sweat, just like he was when he dropped me off at the same spot over two weeks ago. After 34 hours of traveling, it was comforting to see a friendly face again.
My sister Krishelle and I got to the Salt Lake airport early Sunday morning after Bob and Cathie dropped us off and told us to be careful and not to talk to strangers. It's like Bob and Cathie don't even know me sometimes.
Krishelle was able to work out her schedule to return to Palau with me and spend a few weeks hanging out on the beach, diving, and rolling her eyes at all of mine and Daniel's lame jokes. I wasn't looking forward to the long flights, but was happy to have a close friend go with me.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
An Evening with Jolyn
Ok, first of all, I know! Today is supposed to be a pictures and distractions post. I know the schedule guys. I'm the one who created it. And now I'm practically ruining your childhoods. Even though your childhoods have already happened for most of you. I'm basically going back in time and ruining them for you. I'm heading back to Palau in 2 days. I promise I'll get back on schedule next week. It's been a little crazy around here lately.
Late last night I met Jolyn at a coffee shop in Salt Lake City. I believe that someone should probably try to pass a piece of legislation that makes our meeting up with one another illegal. Every time I spend what should be a pleasant evening with Jolyn, I end up waking up the next morning screaming as everything that happened finally hits me.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Guatemala Video
Happy Wednesday, all. I actually thought yesterday was Wednesday until about 3:00 PM when I met up with Jolyn and she informed me that it was Tuesday. So I'm feeling very confused today. Partly because I still don't really know what day it is because Jolyn lies to me whenever possible. But also because I thought I already experienced what I'm experiencing now.
Anyway, Jolyn didn't lie when she said that she put the videos up from The Porch event last week, so today I give you those. Jolyn says that they get blurry in a couple of places and she's very sorry for that but that the audio is fine and "nobody needs to see you clearly anyway." I passed on to her that we are all very disappointed and will probably never forgive her so you don't have to tell her yourself.
Jolyn had to split the video into two pieces for reasons that I didn't really understand (I was still thinking about the fact that it was actually Tuesday while she was explaining it to me). You can find Part I here and Part II here, or play below.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Anyway, Jolyn didn't lie when she said that she put the videos up from The Porch event last week, so today I give you those. Jolyn says that they get blurry in a couple of places and she's very sorry for that but that the audio is fine and "nobody needs to see you clearly anyway." I passed on to her that we are all very disappointed and will probably never forgive her so you don't have to tell her yourself.
Jolyn had to split the video into two pieces for reasons that I didn't really understand (I was still thinking about the fact that it was actually Tuesday while she was explaining it to me). You can find Part I here and Part II here, or play below.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Autocorrect Problems
One of the most frustrating things about making a short trip to the U.S. is my lack of cell phone. I have my old U.S. phone with me, which I'm able to use for Interneting whenever I'm near what the kids call "the wifi." But I still can't call anyone. So I have been using the phone to contact people through Facebook chat extensively. This, in addition to being severely out of autocorrect and text predictor practice, since my Palau phone is a 2001 Nokia with T9 texting, has caused problems.
I'm very good at T9 texting again, by the way. You guys are all going to come running to me when your smart phones give out and the world has to resort back to T9 texting and I'm the only one who can remember how to do it.
Anyway, I give you a small sampling of my more embarrassing mistakes over the last week. Most of my autocorrect and text predictor problems happen with Daniel because I don't care to proof-read what I'm writing to him as much as I do with other people.
I'm very good at T9 texting again, by the way. You guys are all going to come running to me when your smart phones give out and the world has to resort back to T9 texting and I'm the only one who can remember how to do it.
Anyway, I give you a small sampling of my more embarrassing mistakes over the last week. Most of my autocorrect and text predictor problems happen with Daniel because I don't care to proof-read what I'm writing to him as much as I do with other people.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Search Party
Guys. I know. I'm the worst person you've ever not met. I can't believe I've gone a few days without checking in. You've probably all been wondering if I'm dead. Have you sent a search party out for me? If you did, it's not a very good one. Because I haven't been hiding at all and they still haven't found me. And they seriously should have just contacted my family because my family knew right where I was the whole time. I think you should look into getting a different search party. However much you're paying this one, it's too much.
But I'm not dead. Trust me. If I was dead, you would hear about it. Because when I die, it's going to make national headlines. Not because I'm famous, but because I will die doing something incredibly weird. Mark. My. Words.
The reason I haven't checked in is because the Twice Up the Barrel Tour in the United States has been very full of . . . everything. And I just haven't quite found the time or energy.
But I'm not dead. Trust me. If I was dead, you would hear about it. Because when I die, it's going to make national headlines. Not because I'm famous, but because I will die doing something incredibly weird. Mark. My. Words.
The reason I haven't checked in is because the Twice Up the Barrel Tour in the United States has been very full of . . . everything. And I just haven't quite found the time or energy.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
The DMV
On Monday I went to the DMV to renew my license and to register my U.S. car.
Rather, I was taken to the DMV by Bob. My parent and guardian.
Bob was kind enough to take time out of his schedule to drive me over there, since I couldn't drive my own car as the whole reason we were going was to register it and get a valid license.
Guys, I swear I was 16 years old that day.
Bob and Cathie are helpful people. They can't help but be helpful. They're not bossy. They're not know-it-alls. They just step in and help out whenever they see an opportunity.
That's exactly what happened at that DMV on Monday when Bob stepped up to the counter before I could, pointed at me, HIS TWENTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD SON WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES, and said, "my son here needs to get his car registered. What do you need from us?"
Rather, I was taken to the DMV by Bob. My parent and guardian.
Bob was kind enough to take time out of his schedule to drive me over there, since I couldn't drive my own car as the whole reason we were going was to register it and get a valid license.
Guys, I swear I was 16 years old that day.
Bob and Cathie are helpful people. They can't help but be helpful. They're not bossy. They're not know-it-alls. They just step in and help out whenever they see an opportunity.
That's exactly what happened at that DMV on Monday when Bob stepped up to the counter before I could, pointed at me, HIS TWENTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD SON WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES, and said, "my son here needs to get his car registered. What do you need from us?"
Monday, April 15, 2013
Stuff Cathie Has Said
Prayers and best wishes go out from Stranger to all those affected in the Boston Marathon disaster today.
Not to repeat myself, but in case you missed it, tickets for Thursday's show at The Porch are available here. I am told they are selling quickly. Can't wait to share a story on stage with you all in just a few days in Provo!
And now:
"What have you been doing in Palau? I mean, besides eating everything in sight." [Then she looked me up and down.]
"What if I said that YOU pooped in YOUR underwear?! How would that make YOU feel!?" [I woke up from a nap to hear this said to my 3-year-old niece. I have yet to think of a context for this that isn't funny.]
Not to repeat myself, but in case you missed it, tickets for Thursday's show at The Porch are available here. I am told they are selling quickly. Can't wait to share a story on stage with you all in just a few days in Provo!
And now:
Stuff I've heard come out of Cathie's mouth since I've been in the U.S.
"What have you been doing in Palau? I mean, besides eating everything in sight." [Then she looked me up and down.]
"What if I said that YOU pooped in YOUR underwear?! How would that make YOU feel!?" [I woke up from a nap to hear this said to my 3-year-old niece. I have yet to think of a context for this that isn't funny.]
Back in the U.S. of A.
I need to be quick today because I have spent 987 of the last 72 hours on planes and I am CRANKY. Ok, not really that cranky. Because I stopped sweating for the first time in 6 months. And how can you be cranky when you've stopped sweating for the first time in 6 months?
The trip from Palau to Salt Lake City went without too much drama, although it did require 4 flights, 3 long layovers, 2 days, and a partridge in a pear tree.
When I got to the airport in Salt Lake, I immediately started shivering and I have not stopped since.
About 38 seconds after landing, I messaged my sister Krishelle and demanded that she escort me to the nearest mall where we wandered for 3 hours just staring at all the stuff that there is to buy in this wonderful world.
Stuff is incredible. Guys. Don't take stuff for granted.
The trip from Palau to Salt Lake City went without too much drama, although it did require 4 flights, 3 long layovers, 2 days, and a partridge in a pear tree.
When I got to the airport in Salt Lake, I immediately started shivering and I have not stopped since.
About 38 seconds after landing, I messaged my sister Krishelle and demanded that she escort me to the nearest mall where we wandered for 3 hours just staring at all the stuff that there is to buy in this wonderful world.
Stuff is incredible. Guys. Don't take stuff for granted.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Pictures & Weekly Distractions
So I got the full story on the cat pee thing I mentioned yesterday. Basically Daniel had to sit in this house for 4 hours while various animals (mostly cats) jumped all over him. At one point, a stray snake wandered through the place. Not a pet snake. Just a snake from outside. According to Daniel, most of the animals defecated on him at one point or another. During the course of this, he was also force-fed questionable food. I don't know though. Sometimes he exaggerates. And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's when a person exaggerates while telling a story.
In other news, I'm about to get on a plane. And then another plane. And then another. And then 45 more. All the way to Salt Lake City, Utah where I will wear sweaters and wander around the malls crying. Out of happiness. Let the Twice Up the Barrel Tour BEGIN! I hope to see some of you at The Porch next Thursday (should have ticket info for you soon), or just wandering around the streets. Look for me. I'll be the one NOT sweating for the first time in 6 months.
And now, your pictures and perhaps the best weekly distractions we've ever had.
In other news, I'm about to get on a plane. And then another plane. And then another. And then 45 more. All the way to Salt Lake City, Utah where I will wear sweaters and wander around the malls crying. Out of happiness. Let the Twice Up the Barrel Tour BEGIN! I hope to see some of you at The Porch next Thursday (should have ticket info for you soon), or just wandering around the streets. Look for me. I'll be the one NOT sweating for the first time in 6 months.
And now, your pictures and perhaps the best weekly distractions we've ever had.
 |
| Daniel took a work trip out to an outer island called Peleliu and snapped some shots of the aftermath of December's typhoon. |
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Cat Pee! Everywhere!
We had the kids last night, just like every Wednesday. Note: I like referring to our Wednesday night church activities with the teenagers this way because it sounds like a joint-custody situation.
And it also gives me an inside peek at what it would be like to have children with Daniel, in case he ever needs a reference. And if anyone ever calls me and asks me about whether I would recommend having children with Daniel, that conversation will probably go like this:
Person: Would you recommend having children with Daniel?
Eli: HELL NO.
Then the person would probably ask why, and I would immediately tell them about what happened last night.
And it also gives me an inside peek at what it would be like to have children with Daniel, in case he ever needs a reference. And if anyone ever calls me and asks me about whether I would recommend having children with Daniel, that conversation will probably go like this:
Person: Would you recommend having children with Daniel?
Eli: HELL NO.
Then the person would probably ask why, and I would immediately tell them about what happened last night.
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