Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Storage Unit Emails

Because of the upcoming big move to Palau, I have been in the market for a storage unit for all of my precious things. On Sunday, my hysterical sister Krishelle suggested that when contacting a storage unit company, I request a unit with certain special accommodations. The following email exchange resulted yesterday. Enjoy, and please Like us on Facebook.


From: Jane Driggles
To: Storage Salt Lake
Date: July 30
Subject: Need Answer Right Away!!!

I am looking for a storage unit for one year but I need to know how often you check on the spaces. I'm worried about leaving them unattended for too long a period.


From: Storage Salt Lake
To: Jane Driggles
Date: July 30
Subject: Need Answer Right Away!!!

Checks on our units are done at least once a day, What size of unit are you looking for?


From: Jane Driggles
To: Storage Salt Lake
Date: July 30
Subject: Need Answer Right Away!!!

Great. What size? It sort of depends. Do any of them come with pet doors? If so, I really don't need a unit that is very large. There aren't that many of them and their furniture won't take up much room. If there isn't a pet door, that's a little trickier. I would probably want something bigger so they would have some room to move around a bit. I would probably also need one with interior lights, if available and not too expensive. What sizes do you have available?

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Pioneer Day Marathoning

How often are you supposed to clean your reusable water bottle?

I'm sitting here at work, early in the morning, getting ready to get started for the day. I just looked at my water bottle and realized I have not washed it since November.

No. Vem. Ber.

What are my chances of survival? I use this bottle every day. It has now just occurred to me, 8 months later, that I should probably have it on some kind of cleaning rotation.

I just felt the inside of it. It feels like my face after all the sweat dries from a long run. It's supposed to have a smooth plastic feel. I also just noticed that there are currently somewhere in the vicinity of 270,000 fingerprints around the outside.

With hygiene habits like this, it's no wonder I've had my foot disease for 7 years.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Emails With Amy

A few months ago a friend was trying to sell his housing contract on Craigslist. He got an email from a woman named Amy who had 10 questions for him. I responded. And never heard from Amy again.

It's so hard to make friends on Craigslist.

For background, in a couple of questions, Amy asks about my friend's "ward." A "ward" in this context is a Mormon church congregation.

I’m looking for a place with older female roommates (24-35) that are active in the LDS church and like to have people over and go out. If this matches what you are looking for, would you tell me a little more?

1) Are there boys and girls that live in your home?

Nope! Just one man, Hector. And I know what you're thinking, "a man?! So he probably doesn't pay the rent on time!" Boy are you wrong, though! His social security check comes in on the same day every month, and because of his creditor problem, the landlord predictably shows up first thing in the morning on that day, hand outstretched and foot tapping.

2) Do you allow drinking or smoking in your home?

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

High School Reunion

Next week is my 10 year high school reunion. I know. How the crap is Eli old enough to have a 10 year high school reunion?

I'll tell you how: I graduated in 2002. It's currently 2012. Take the square root, multiply, carry the one, BAM, 10 years.

What my former classmates have accomplished in 10 years: 26 babies each, a mortgage, a 401k (whatever that is!), and a seat on their respective city councils.

What I have accomplished in 10 years: watched all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights, went to school for 6 trillion days, started puberty (I really think this it is this time!), and learned how to swim.

Other than the Friday Night Lights thing, I guess I don't have a lot to bring to the table next week.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Pictures From My Phone

Over the past few months I have collected a number of pictures on my phone of various things I've spotted around. I thought I would share them with you all. Some of these are pictures I have posted on our Facebook page. Please feel free to like that page if you haven't already (so I can FB stalk you).

Woman watering the sidewalk in SLC . . .

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Eye Exam

On Monday I up and went to the eye doctor. Up until about last year, I was basically an eagle when it came to sight. Then something started to happen. I turned into an old man.

I knew I had a problem because I couldn't read road signs very well anymore unless I was directly under them on the freeway. And something about squinting up at a road sign while going 45 mph on the freeway (my maximum speed--see prior paragraph where I mention that I turned into an old man) didn't seem super safe.

So finally, on Monday, I moseyed on over to the eye doctor.

Before that could happen though, I had to learn, for the 100 millionth time, what health insurance is. I submit to you that health insurance is the single most complicated facet of any person's life, no matter what else might be happening in that person's life. And before you go on screaming about how your version of health care reform would solve that problem, let me just say, unless your plan is to eliminate all health problems and the popular television program Glee (for good measure), health insurance will still be prohibitively complicated.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Soul Sister Texts

Ever get a text from someone who has accidentally replied all to a mass text sent to you by a friend? My friend Mallory got one several months ago after a friend of hers sent out a mass text announcing her engagement. Mallory got creative and the following conversation ensued:

Dec 26:

Unknown 9:16: Congrats!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you guys.

Mal 9:18: Thanks. We weren't sure anybody knew yet.

Unknown 9:18: Yay I am so happy for you! Been Facebook stalking you all Christmas waiting for that!

Mal 9:21: Well it cost a bit more than expected, but I think the result is what we were looking for. Sure surprised mom though.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Hard Labor

Let me tell you a little something about my friend Anna before I share this story.

Anna is one of those people who does things when she says she's going to do them. Like, truly, really, actually accomplishes goals. You'll be casually talking about how neat the stars are, she suddenly says she wants to be an astronaut, the next morning she's driving to NASA, and then six months later she comes back with 12 missions accomplished and a Nobel prize. And then she washes all of her windows right when she gets home. By herself.

Makes me feel silly for waiting 3 weeks to call Comcast to tell them our cable was out.