On Wednesday I had one of those days where everything just a little bit sucked more than usual. I don't remember how it started. Technical difficulties. Ants in the kitchen. An annoying work email, or two. Finally around 2:00 I decided I was just going to go for my long run and clear my mind.
I don't know why I can't seem to remember that it's one hundred eleventy degrees at that time of day this time of year. I keep doing this. I take off and about two or three miles into the run there is enough sweat pouring off of my body that Utah is technically no longer a desert. But by that point it feels too late to quit, so I just keep going.
I do the same run every other day or so. I head down my street and climb to the top of the Avenues in downtown Salt Lake City. Then I run across a road that overlooks the entire valley until I reach a small canyon, nestled in some trees, a lovely little creek winding through it. Eventually the canyon feeds right into Temple Square at the heart of the city. Then I make my way back home, past the Governor's Mansion and several dozen pioneer-era homes converted into bed-and-breakfasts and law offices.
It's a pleasant run--about 12-14 miles, depending on how many detours I decide to take. This has been my best COVID-19 therapy.
But it's much less pleasant when I decide to attempt it at Satan o'clock.
I think it must have actually been around 95 degrees on Wednesday when I left the house. By the time I reached the halfway point, I was already wondering if I could possibly make it all the way back home. A mile or two later, my left heel started aching, to the point that I couldn't keep running.
Showing posts with label Running. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Running. Show all posts
Sunday, July 12, 2020
Sunday, May 17, 2020
Apple Watch
Tomorrow is my birthday, which you all know because of the outrageous celebrations you have planned. We decided to carve out some time for it on Saturday, even though my actual birthday is on Monday, since Skylar could actually give about twenty-five seconds to celebrate with me.
Skylar's big board exams are in like three weeks so he hasn't spoken more than three full sentences to me since about February. He has started about a thousand sentences, but he's only fully completed three. We spend the majority of our day working from home in adjacent rooms where, if you were eavesdropping, you might hear:
Skylar: Hey . . . [twenty second pause]
Eli: Yeah?
Skylar: I was just . . . uh . . . thinking . . . [twenty more seconds]
Eli: What were you thinking, Sky man.
Skylar: Huh?
Eli: What were you thinking?
Skylar: [non-sequitur humming a Taylor Swift song that is presumably not directed at me]
Skylar's big board exams are in like three weeks so he hasn't spoken more than three full sentences to me since about February. He has started about a thousand sentences, but he's only fully completed three. We spend the majority of our day working from home in adjacent rooms where, if you were eavesdropping, you might hear:
Skylar: Hey . . . [twenty second pause]
Eli: Yeah?
Skylar: I was just . . . uh . . . thinking . . . [twenty more seconds]
Eli: What were you thinking, Sky man.
Skylar: Huh?
Eli: What were you thinking?
Skylar: [non-sequitur humming a Taylor Swift song that is presumably not directed at me]
Sunday, April 26, 2020
What Has Been Your Best Coping Mechanism of Late?
I've been going on very long runs every weekend for about a year. I started these for my "Year of Health" in 2019, and then noticed pretty quickly that they were possibly the thing I looked most forward to each week.
I usually do them on Sunday NOT THAT WE KNOW WHAT BREAKING THE SABBATH IS afternoons. I start from my house and run to downtown Salt Lake City, weaving through some neighborhoods, and then I turn around and come back home. It's about a 12-13 mile run, depending on how many detours I take.
The Sunday afternoon run has honestly been the best thing I have ever done for my anxiety. Since I started doing it last spring, I have been calmer than I can remember being in a long time. I told you recently that my Achilles was hurting me and this stressed me out to no end because the last thing I needed while on lock-down during a pandemic was to lose my ability to go on these weekend runs. Fortunately I got some advice for physical therapy exercises I can do at home and they have been a miracle.
I did not expect these to work. I kind of don't trust anything a doctor ever says to me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my brain is so incapable of computing science on even the most basic levels that whenever a doctor prescribes me something I feel like they're just attempting to do magic tricks. This, of course, drives my medical student husband crazy.
I usually do them on Sunday NOT THAT WE KNOW WHAT BREAKING THE SABBATH IS afternoons. I start from my house and run to downtown Salt Lake City, weaving through some neighborhoods, and then I turn around and come back home. It's about a 12-13 mile run, depending on how many detours I take.
The Sunday afternoon run has honestly been the best thing I have ever done for my anxiety. Since I started doing it last spring, I have been calmer than I can remember being in a long time. I told you recently that my Achilles was hurting me and this stressed me out to no end because the last thing I needed while on lock-down during a pandemic was to lose my ability to go on these weekend runs. Fortunately I got some advice for physical therapy exercises I can do at home and they have been a miracle.
I did not expect these to work. I kind of don't trust anything a doctor ever says to me. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my brain is so incapable of computing science on even the most basic levels that whenever a doctor prescribes me something I feel like they're just attempting to do magic tricks. This, of course, drives my medical student husband crazy.
Monday, May 6, 2019
Half Ironman, 2019
The worst part of doing a half or full Ironman, besides the swimming, biking, and running, is the whole week leading up to the race. You're supposed to go to bed early and eat boring food, but not overeat, and say your prayers and stuff, and exercising that much self control for several consecutive days is torture.
By the time the race comes, I just want it to be over. I just want it to be over so I can go back to my usual lard-face slothful life.
I got to St. George for the half Ironman powered by your podcast recommendations, which you gave me on the Facebooks. Skylar couldn't ride down with me because he apparently loves his school and his future more than making me happy by keeping me company in the car for four hours.
He rode down with Bob and Cathie later that night. I'm told they sang 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, but they started with 12,000 because the trip was so long. They even stopped on the way and got matching tattoos of Celine Dion. Bob and Cathie now plan to sit on Skylar's side of the aisle at our wedding.
Joke's on them though: my side will have Celine Dion.
Then Saturday morning arrived. I got up at the ungodly hour of eleventy o' clock because for some reason they make everyone get to the lake TWO HOURS before the event starts.
By the time the race comes, I just want it to be over. I just want it to be over so I can go back to my usual lard-face slothful life.
I got to St. George for the half Ironman powered by your podcast recommendations, which you gave me on the Facebooks. Skylar couldn't ride down with me because he apparently loves his school and his future more than making me happy by keeping me company in the car for four hours.
He rode down with Bob and Cathie later that night. I'm told they sang 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, but they started with 12,000 because the trip was so long. They even stopped on the way and got matching tattoos of Celine Dion. Bob and Cathie now plan to sit on Skylar's side of the aisle at our wedding.
Joke's on them though: my side will have Celine Dion.
Then Saturday morning arrived. I got up at the ungodly hour of eleventy o' clock because for some reason they make everyone get to the lake TWO HOURS before the event starts.
Monday, May 7, 2018
St. George Half Ironman, 2018
I hadn't done a triathlon since 2016 when I did the half Ironman in St. George and it was negative eleventy degrees and I was being punished by God, probably for being a really bad child in the 90s, and I committed myself to never exercise again.
Then at the end of 2016 I had a nervous breakdown, ate my feelings, and wrote a lot of bad poetry (in my heart).
In 2017 I didn't do any triathlon races and I basically forgot how to swim and by Christmas, I had gained like 30 pounds so I finally decided I needed to get back on the wagon.
I trained for the last five months for this year's St. George half Ironman, which was not easy because it was basically winter in Salt Lake City until yesterday at 2:00 PM.
On Friday at negative 6:00 in the morning, Skylar and I took off for St. George. That afternoon we packed my transition bags and took them to the various locations to drop them off.
The first transition is right next to the lake, where I decided I should probably do a quick practice swim to remind myself how miserably cold the water is.
Then at the end of 2016 I had a nervous breakdown, ate my feelings, and wrote a lot of bad poetry (in my heart).
In 2017 I didn't do any triathlon races and I basically forgot how to swim and by Christmas, I had gained like 30 pounds so I finally decided I needed to get back on the wagon.
I trained for the last five months for this year's St. George half Ironman, which was not easy because it was basically winter in Salt Lake City until yesterday at 2:00 PM.
On Friday at negative 6:00 in the morning, Skylar and I took off for St. George. That afternoon we packed my transition bags and took them to the various locations to drop them off.
The first transition is right next to the lake, where I decided I should probably do a quick practice swim to remind myself how miserably cold the water is.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Pioneer Day Marathon
Yesterday was Pioneer Day and Tami's birthday so obviously Tami and I did our favorite activity--the one that brought about her existence--and ran the Pioneer Day marathon.
A few things you should know about this experience:
1. I, Eli Whittletown McCann, have gained nearly 30 pounds since November ("What!? You look so fit and beautiful!" stop it you guys).
2. I signed up for this race a few months ago, thinking that having one on the calendar would, oh, I don't know, motivate me to change my life.
3. There were exactly two pairs of pants left in my house that I was still able to button up. Notice I said "were." On Sunday, a button violently popped off of one of those two pairs when I bent over to pick up a piece of fried chicken that I was 10-second-ruling from the floor STOP JUDGING ME.
4. Be ye warned, oh ye little ones, when you turn 33 you are no longer able to eat and behave however you want and anticipate absolutely zero repercussions.
A few things you should know about this experience:
1. I, Eli Whittletown McCann, have gained nearly 30 pounds since November ("What!? You look so fit and beautiful!" stop it you guys).
2. I signed up for this race a few months ago, thinking that having one on the calendar would, oh, I don't know, motivate me to change my life.
3. There were exactly two pairs of pants left in my house that I was still able to button up. Notice I said "were." On Sunday, a button violently popped off of one of those two pairs when I bent over to pick up a piece of fried chicken that I was 10-second-ruling from the floor STOP JUDGING ME.
4. Be ye warned, oh ye little ones, when you turn 33 you are no longer able to eat and behave however you want and anticipate absolutely zero repercussions.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Puppy For Sale
There's a puppy at my house who has decided that every hour of the night is the best possible time to scratch at any closed door, bark, and demand to be allowed to go outside.
THIS puppy.
I've been doing this thing where I try to reason with him and help him understand what night time is and what it means to have to get up early and go to a job and how I'm not as young as I used to be and how money doesn't grow on trees OMG I AM MY FATHER.
THIS puppy.
I've been doing this thing where I try to reason with him and help him understand what night time is and what it means to have to get up early and go to a job and how I'm not as young as I used to be and how money doesn't grow on trees OMG I AM MY FATHER.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
2016 Ironman St. George 70.3
You guys.
You guys.
You guys.
You know this is serious because I never say "you guys" three times. I don't even say that more than I don't even say "y'all." AND I LITERALLY NEVER SAY Y'ALL.
On Saturday I competed in the St. George half Ironman. This is the third year in a row that I've done this. You may remember that last year I complained at you about how Satan is the ruler of St. George Utah and that it is so hot there that you can see the heat from space.
FROM SPACE.
And then I told you that that cop/Oprah/not-Paul-Simon/ended-up-not-actually-being-a-cop-if-you-read-the-comments woman cheered at me toward the end of the race and this helped me power through.
WELL WHERE THE HELL WAS COPRAH THIS YEAR?!
You guys.
You guys.
You know this is serious because I never say "you guys" three times. I don't even say that more than I don't even say "y'all." AND I LITERALLY NEVER SAY Y'ALL.
On Saturday I competed in the St. George half Ironman. This is the third year in a row that I've done this. You may remember that last year I complained at you about how Satan is the ruler of St. George Utah and that it is so hot there that you can see the heat from space.
FROM SPACE.
And then I told you that that cop/Oprah/not-Paul-Simon/ended-up-not-actually-being-a-cop-if-you-read-the-comments woman cheered at me toward the end of the race and this helped me power through.
WELL WHERE THE HELL WAS COPRAH THIS YEAR?!
Monday, August 3, 2015
Ironman Boulder, 2015
Young Wade and I stayed with my childhood best friend Sam
who lives just outside of Boulder. I dragged Young Wade out of bed at the
witching hour on Friday morning so we could make the eight-hour drive from Salt Lake City. If Young
Wade ever speaks to me again after the number of times I required him to be
awake before most people even got to bed this weekend, he shall be given an
automatic Nobel Peace Prize.
On Friday and Saturday we wandered to and fro, checking into
the race, packing the many gear bags, and dropping things off at the transition
areas for the Ironman that would begin bright and early Sunday morning.
Bob and Cathie rolled into town Saturday afternoon after
texting me 300 times throughout the day to ask whether I was staying calm. Hashtag worried parents.
The questions were fair. I have been less-than-calm in the
last few weeks, although I’ve tried desperately hard to fix this. As you know,
Ironman has been a very long and often terrifying and devastatingly
disappointing process for me.
Monday, May 4, 2015
St. George 70.3
I write to you now from somewhere over the Atlantic because, in a foolish daze a few weeks ago and at 2:00 AM from my office, I decided it would be a good idea to schedule an exhausting international trip for the day after the St. George Half Ironman. I'll touch base as I travel, assuming that I'm not locked up abroad or kidnapped and forced to work in a factory because according to Chase Bank, who refused to place a travel alert on my debit card minutes before I left for the airport, at least two of the countries I'm going to are on the "unsafe list."
NOT THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING UNSAFE, CATHIE.
But about that race . . .
Rebecca and I made our way south to the St. George Half
Ironman on Friday morning quite early, at a time when, according to Rebecca, “ARE
YOU KIDDING ME?! IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE AWAKE RIGHT NOW!”
Contrary to my expectations, she was not cranky on the
drive. But she did talk at me in one continuous breath, including a four-hour
run-on sentence, until we pulled into the hot but beautiful southern Utah desert city.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions
Today I went to a meeting where they planned to show 150 or so attorneys how to download their business cards onto their smart phones so we can all go "paperless" and share our contact information through texts. Whoever came up with this idea sorely overestimated the enthusiasm and ability of this group to embrace and understand this new fandangled technology. They had everyone pull out their phones so they could walk the group through the setup process.
You guys. You would have thought they asked us to build the phones from scratch using only objects found in the room. Within 10 minutes, people, mostly with their glasses pulled down to edge of their noses, were tapping their screens with excessive force, turning their phones around to examine the backs of them like they weren't quite sure which way to hold the device, and saying things like "how do you know when it's on?" Finally the woman started promising everyone one by one that she would come around to each office later and help folks individually. And THAT right there is how I know I chose the correct profession for myself.
And now, your Pictures and Distractions.
You guys. You would have thought they asked us to build the phones from scratch using only objects found in the room. Within 10 minutes, people, mostly with their glasses pulled down to edge of their noses, were tapping their screens with excessive force, turning their phones around to examine the backs of them like they weren't quite sure which way to hold the device, and saying things like "how do you know when it's on?" Finally the woman started promising everyone one by one that she would come around to each office later and help folks individually. And THAT right there is how I know I chose the correct profession for myself.
And now, your Pictures and Distractions.
 |
| My friend, Olena, gave me this magnet several years ago when I was visiting Ukraine. She was so excited to find one in English. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was spelled incorrectly. |
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
I Took the Road Less Traveled By
It was the same course I usually ride. A canyon opens near my house. It's a quick access way to get my bike out of the city and into nature. It's a beautiful place with a challenging climb.
I rushed home from the office, hoping I had just enough time before sunset to go for a half-decent ride. My legs were sore from Saturday's race, and I awkwardly climbed aboard Paul Cyclemon and slowly began pedaling, hoping to work the kinks out and ride more smoothly after a quick warm up.
Things started feeling a little better a mile or two in. But I felt a general fatigue. I wondered if I should have taken the day off to rest a little more. But I was already out on the road and so I rode on.
I made it to my turn-around point and stopped to drink some water. The road goes on and on for many more miles. Many more steep miles. But those miles would have to wait for another day. This was enough for me for that one ride.
I rushed home from the office, hoping I had just enough time before sunset to go for a half-decent ride. My legs were sore from Saturday's race, and I awkwardly climbed aboard Paul Cyclemon and slowly began pedaling, hoping to work the kinks out and ride more smoothly after a quick warm up.
Things started feeling a little better a mile or two in. But I felt a general fatigue. I wondered if I should have taken the day off to rest a little more. But I was already out on the road and so I rode on.
I made it to my turn-around point and stopped to drink some water. The road goes on and on for many more miles. Many more steep miles. But those miles would have to wait for another day. This was enough for me for that one ride.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
The Proverbial Sandra
I knew Wade had signed up for the Salt Lake City half marathon several months ago and I don't like to be left out of anything so when I realized the Saturday race was approaching, I signed up on a whim last Tuesday.
It was actually pretty good timing. The half marathon would be exactly two weeks before the half Ironman and I had planned to run that distance on Saturday anyway so I thought I might as well do it in front of thousands of spectators so everyone could enjoy my hair.
Sometimes I feel selfish when I don't go out in public. I mean, did Michelangelo keep the Sistine Chapel in his basement? Not that the Sistine Chapel and my hair are a fair comparison. But all of that painting is still pretty impressive.
The race was phenomenal. Several Strangers cheered for me by name as I ran by, which was beyond exciting for me. Unless they weren't Strangers and they were actually just saying words that sounded like my name and I assumed they were cheering for me. Or maybe they weren't even cheering for me. Maybe they were mad at me and trying to tell me off and I just ran on by and didn't even stop to listen. This is actually very possible. They were yelling, after all.
It was actually pretty good timing. The half marathon would be exactly two weeks before the half Ironman and I had planned to run that distance on Saturday anyway so I thought I might as well do it in front of thousands of spectators so everyone could enjoy my hair.
Sometimes I feel selfish when I don't go out in public. I mean, did Michelangelo keep the Sistine Chapel in his basement? Not that the Sistine Chapel and my hair are a fair comparison. But all of that painting is still pretty impressive.
The race was phenomenal. Several Strangers cheered for me by name as I ran by, which was beyond exciting for me. Unless they weren't Strangers and they were actually just saying words that sounded like my name and I assumed they were cheering for me. Or maybe they weren't even cheering for me. Maybe they were mad at me and trying to tell me off and I just ran on by and didn't even stop to listen. This is actually very possible. They were yelling, after all.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions
Wade and I are running a half marathon in Salt Lake on Saturday morning so to prepare we are eating a very large bag of Swedish Fish with Rebecca tonight (Thursday). Good friends sign up for endurance events with you. Best friends over-feed you candy right before those events happen.
And now, your Pictures & Distractions:
And now, your Pictures & Distractions:
 |
| I've been sending threatening pictures from Annie's office, demanding that she return from maternity leave because it has been going on for an eternity or I'll destroy all of her things. Also I got new glasses. Hashtag selfie. |
Sunday, March 29, 2015
The Thing That Happened on Friday
You guys. This thing happened on Friday morning. I hesitate telling you this story because I think you might not believe that it's true. But I'm telling you, this story is true. It will seem unlikely that this could happen to anyone and especially that it would happen to me of all people. But this happened. It really truly did happen. And the moment it did, I wished a witness had been there because I knew that nobody would believe me.
It all started when I decided to seize the day. When I went to bed on Thursday I set my alarm for 5:00 AM. I was going to get up and go for a two-hour run because the half Ironman is now five weeks away and OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO DIE.
I was so proud of myself for setting the alarm for that early and I decided that I would consider it a victory even if I hit snooze for three hours until finally getting up and just going to work. Because sometimes you just have to be proud of yourself for setting goals.
It all started when I decided to seize the day. When I went to bed on Thursday I set my alarm for 5:00 AM. I was going to get up and go for a two-hour run because the half Ironman is now five weeks away and OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO DIE.
I was so proud of myself for setting the alarm for that early and I decided that I would consider it a victory even if I hit snooze for three hours until finally getting up and just going to work. Because sometimes you just have to be proud of yourself for setting goals.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
EXPERIENCING THE GRIPS OF HELL!
You guys. I found something that is worse than CAMPING. It's worse than surprise camping. Even worse than camping for more than one day.
IT'S WORSE THAN ALL OF THE KINDS OF CAMPING.
It is called Ragnar. It is an unholy abomination in apocalyptic proportions. The people who came up with this idea should be imprisoned. Everyone who has talked another person into doing the race should be tried for crimes against humanity. They should change the name of the place where Satan dwells from "Hell" to "Ragnar."
WHAT THE RAGNAR WAS I THINKING WHEN I AGREED TO DO THIS?!
The race was in Vegas, a solid six-hour drive from Salt Lake City. We drove south on Thursday evening, the six of us on our team.
IT'S WORSE THAN ALL OF THE KINDS OF CAMPING.
It is called Ragnar. It is an unholy abomination in apocalyptic proportions. The people who came up with this idea should be imprisoned. Everyone who has talked another person into doing the race should be tried for crimes against humanity. They should change the name of the place where Satan dwells from "Hell" to "Ragnar."
WHAT THE RAGNAR WAS I THINKING WHEN I AGREED TO DO THIS?!
The race was in Vegas, a solid six-hour drive from Salt Lake City. We drove south on Thursday evening, the six of us on our team.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Peer Pressure
A long long time ago
When the proposed date still felt so far away
A conversation happened
James: I know we don't know each other well but you run, so would you like to do a relay race with me in a few months?
Eli: [Distracted because there was some cheesecake at home he was trying to get to] Huh? Yeah, whatever.
James: Really? Don't you want details?
Eli: Fine. It's all fine.
James: Ok, but it's in another state.
Eli: I really need to get going.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
The Day of Reckoning is Upon Us All
First of all, WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT SUPER DRAMATIC POST ON SUNDAY!?
Second, you guys. I am leaving for Ironman on Friday morning.
FRIDAY MORNING.
THAT'S THE DAY AFTER THURSDAY! AND THURSDAY HAPPENS ALMOST EVERY SINGLE WEEK!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M MAKING SENSE ANYMORE!
Ironman is a logistics nightmare. I have to check in at the Tahoe race by 5:00 PM on Friday but because my job has recently turned into the neediest thing since me, I can't leave for the 9-hour drive until Friday morning. Which means that we are going to leave at like 4:30 AM just to be safe.
FOUR-THIRTY. AY. EM!!! WHEN IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO BE AWAKE!
Second, you guys. I am leaving for Ironman on Friday morning.
FRIDAY MORNING.
THAT'S THE DAY AFTER THURSDAY! AND THURSDAY HAPPENS ALMOST EVERY SINGLE WEEK!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M MAKING SENSE ANYMORE!
Ironman is a logistics nightmare. I have to check in at the Tahoe race by 5:00 PM on Friday but because my job has recently turned into the neediest thing since me, I can't leave for the 9-hour drive until Friday morning. Which means that we are going to leave at like 4:30 AM just to be safe.
FOUR-THIRTY. AY. EM!!! WHEN IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO BE AWAKE!
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tami
Since I know everyone is extremely interested in the Pioneer Day Marathon Toenail Disaster of 2014, I'm here to provide you an update! Yesterday, while sitting in my professional lawyer office, aka my dorm room/hospital/place where I apparently think it's ok to take off my shoes and socks and perform surgery on my disgusting feet, a miraculous but horrific thing happened.
My little sister Micalyne had been responding to my frantic texts throughout the day asking what the hell I was supposed to do with my large toenail, which I previously told you was functioning like a car hood. I could raise it up and look underneath it. And it was gross.
Micalyne is the bravest human being I've ever met in my life. And not just because she has changed adult diapers without flinching. I truly don't think I've ever seen her look nervous or scared.
Additionally, despite being the size of a small child, she inexplicably has superhuman strength. If we lived in one of those societies where each family had to give one son to go fight in the war, Bob and Cathie would totally shave Micalyne's head and be like, "this is the strongest son in our family. Don't mind the boobs."
My little sister Micalyne had been responding to my frantic texts throughout the day asking what the hell I was supposed to do with my large toenail, which I previously told you was functioning like a car hood. I could raise it up and look underneath it. And it was gross.
Micalyne is the bravest human being I've ever met in my life. And not just because she has changed adult diapers without flinching. I truly don't think I've ever seen her look nervous or scared.
Additionally, despite being the size of a small child, she inexplicably has superhuman strength. If we lived in one of those societies where each family had to give one son to go fight in the war, Bob and Cathie would totally shave Micalyne's head and be like, "this is the strongest son in our family. Don't mind the boobs."
Monday, July 28, 2014
The Community Pool
The Ironman is only like eight weeks away now and I know this is likely not the case, but I think we may have somehow gone through a time warp and skipped like eleventy weeks. Because just a few minutes ago the Ironman was nearly twenty weeks away. And now it's eight weeks away.
Eight is less than twenty, guys.
I know because I put the numbers next to each other and then used the greater-than and less-than signs to compare them and the pointy end looked at the eight.
AND THEY SAY PUBLIC EDUCATION IS FAILING.
I'm having a hard time training right now because my big toenail is like a car hood at the moment since it apparently experienced some intense trauma at the Pioneer Day Marathon last week. Seriously. It's only connected to my toe at the base of the nail. You can raise it to be perpendicular to the toe.
Eight is less than twenty, guys.
I know because I put the numbers next to each other and then used the greater-than and less-than signs to compare them and the pointy end looked at the eight.
AND THEY SAY PUBLIC EDUCATION IS FAILING.
I'm having a hard time training right now because my big toenail is like a car hood at the moment since it apparently experienced some intense trauma at the Pioneer Day Marathon last week. Seriously. It's only connected to my toe at the base of the nail. You can raise it to be perpendicular to the toe.
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