Search Party

Guys. I know. I'm the worst person you've ever not met. I can't believe I've gone a few days without checking in. You've probably all been wondering if I'm dead. Have you sent a search party out for me? If you did, it's not a very good one. Because I haven't been hiding at all and they still haven't found me. And they seriously should have just contacted my family because my family knew right where I was the whole time. I think you should look into getting a different search party. However much you're paying this one, it's too much.

But I'm not dead. Trust me. If I was dead, you would hear about it. Because when I die, it's going to make national headlines. Not because I'm famous, but because I will die doing something incredibly weird. Mark. My. Words.

The reason I haven't checked in is because the Twice Up the Barrel Tour in the United States has been very full of . . . everything. And I just haven't quite found the time or energy.



I'm going to make the worst parent one day if someone ever leaves a baby on my doorstep. Because I'll be all "let's wake up at 5:00 every day and build a tree house together while learning Latin!" for like 3 weeks and then one day I'll get tired and just stop feeding the kid.

This week has been a roller coaster. Lots of great things have happened. I have reconnected with so many incredible friends that I have missed dearly. The family time has been invaluable. And on Thursday we had a great time at The Porch. So many of you showed up and it was wonderful to get to meet you and see your cat Snuggies and looks of disapproval for my thoughts on vague Facebook posting. But all you did was shake your heads in shame and say, "this is the most mad I've ever been--never trusting anyone again" so I wasn't really sure what you were mad about specifically. Anyway, we should have the video of the thing up soon, if I can get Jolyn to post it.

Jolyn? Are you alive? It's very uncomfortable when you have been quiet for too long. I'm going to send a search party out for you. I don't know anyone who has found a good one yet though so I'm going to have to look up reviews online.

My flight to DC was scheduled to leave late Saturday evening. Over the prior few days a whole bunch of very unexpected things happened that made me question whether it was worth all the effort to trek across the country. To add to that, some other things left me feeling more worn down than I can remember feeling in a long time. I won't go into detail on this, but will just say that it made for a bumpy 72 hours. And when Saturday afternoon came, I was still doing a cost/benefit analysis about whether it was worth putting myself through that trip.

I had a wedding reception to run to that evening and I knew when I left the reception that I had to make a decision during the drive back to Bob and Cathie's house. Partly because of extreme fatigue and a good amount of stress that had built up during the week, this decision seemed like life and death. And I suddenly found myself bolting down the freeway on the verge of tears and in a very indecisive place, which I don't let happen too often.

I'm a holy roller so I turned to prayer and in so doing, I felt like I received a pretty good answer. So with a few hours until takeoff, I decided to forgo the trip. I capped the night off with a much needed late night tea chat with my very close friends Anna and Emma, who always seem to make all my stresses go away.

Here I am now, a day later, much more rested, and thinking far more clearly. And I'm relieved to say that I still feel like it was the right decision. I may never know for sure. But that's the way things usually go. And part of living a life of peace is learning not to worry about that too much. Because what good does it do to worry about something you may never know?

Big week ahead now. And I promise not to abandon you again. Because that was just plain mean. And you've never done such a thing to me.

~It Just Gets Stranger