My understanding of how one makes ramen involves placing a plastic non-microwave-safe bowl of water and hard noodles in the devil's box for three minutes, mixing a small pouch of MSG into it, and then burning your mouth off while trying to eat it. Also it's 1994.
His version involves boiling about 600 vegetables in a dutch oven and occasionally screaming "awe fiddlesticks darn!" when he realizes he's forgotten something.
I'm not kidding about the fiddlesticks darn business. It didn't occur to me until very recently that Skylar doesn't swear. I just somehow went several years without noticing this. It fully hit me a couple of weeks ago when I heard him yell from the other room "GOLLY DARN MOTHER MONKEYS!"
I was writing when he said it. I paused for a solid minute, suddenly trying to remember if I had ever heard Skylar swear. Suddenly I had flashbacks to him telling me after watching various movies, "I really liked it, if it wasn't for all the language."
I think I may be marrying my mother.
After the golly darn mother monkeys incident it suddenly occurred to me that I've probably been gravely offending him for several years by showcasing a moderately colorful grasp of the English language in front of him.
It's not that I wish he did swear more. It's just that I'm surprised by it. Skylar grew up in a liberal family in the Pacific Northwest. His mother named him by looking into the Sky and communing with the galactic energy. He didn't grow up in some religious community in a little house on the prairie. I guess because of all this, I just assumed that he had an even more colorful grasp of the English language than me, and I never noticed that that wasn't true.
(Editor's note: I just told him what I'm writing and he objected, politely shouting, "I do too swear! Sometimes I say 'd-a-m-n' when I'm feeling trashy!)
At least he won't be offended by our mostly swear-less Strangerville Live show on February 22. (How's that for a transition?)
We are ecstatic to announce this show's fabulous lineup, including:
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| Herder of cats, destroyer of dreams. |
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| Former congressional candidate, cartwheel enthusiast, current inmate of the Utah State Penitentiary. |
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| Utah's best cat herder, 12 years in a row; hasn't smiled since the Cold War. |
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| Miss America, 1996. |
Meg will be hosting. She promises to breastfeed onstage for an extra charge.
Please get your tickets HERE. Every time you buy a ticket, a puppy gets a bone.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Seriously - when are you taking this show on the road? Michigan in the summertime is beautiful and I think the amphitheater at the park is rather cheap.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, please do come to Michigan!
ReplyDeleteYes, another vote for Michigan!
ReplyDeleteI know that "colorful language" is a euphemism for swearing, but in my mind Skylar's substitutions are even more colorful since the word combinations themselves are so random and yet perfectly put together with effortless grace instead of repeating the same normal curse words over and over. HashtagTeamSkylar
ReplyDeleteYes, Michigan! Specifically Grand Rapids! You guys would love it!
ReplyDeleteNo No No No - I started this - so they have to come to Kalamazoo!
DeleteBut the big question to me is are you also Skylar's mother? Because if so then you're a gay couple who also manages to be a lesbian couple, which is pretty *golly darn mother monkeys* amazing.
ReplyDeleteAnd also, this post makes me like Skykar even more. Can he guest star on Strangerville again please?
Yesssss. I need me some Slive to get through this winter. Also, I love Shireen. She has been one of my favorite ever Strangerville guests.
ReplyDeleteSo i have been reading Strangville religiously since before Palau, and have never commented, but I just need to share how excited I am that I moved to Salt Lake just in time to attend the next Strangerville! Woo hoo!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I would like to adopt Skylar, because I need that type of colorful replacement of swear words in my life. You can come too, because I need a better example of fabulous hair in my life.
If ever you don't feel like making ramen from scratch, I went to Haru Ramen in Clearfield (I think it was Clearfield, somewhere near Ogden where she lives, mostly I was never sure where I was exactly) when I was visiting my daughter and it was absolutely amazing and delicious. And really inexpensive as well.
ReplyDeleteAnother vote for you all to come to Michigan! We have Great Lakes that aren’t salty and it really is beautiful in the summer!
ReplyDeleteWHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH STRANGER AND MICHIGAN?
DeleteThis feels like when David Hasselhoff found out he was famous in Germany.
You have better hair than than the Hoff . . . .
DeleteI'm thinking we need a Stranger gathering in Michigan.
Or you could just get married here - then I could plan the wedding for you.
I'm not good at planning things, but I'm good at decorating. Nicole, you plan and I'll help set up!
Delete#getStrangertoMichigan
I vote you bring Strangerville to Vermont after your stop in Michigan......or Plan them in a year advance so I have time to convince my husband why we need to go to SLC...
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to move to Vermont over the summer, so maybe make it in the fall so I can make it? Kay, thanks!!!
DeleteFunny story, I am going to school at UCSF where they do all sorts of hella (sorry Skylar) weird liberal stuff. And the lecturer stopped in the middle of a lecture to breastfeed her four year old. And insisted on using he gender inclusive term chestfeeding to describe it. It was one of the weirder experiences of my educational life.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but breast is NOT a gendered term. All people have breasts (this is why men can and do get breast cancer). I don't care what your lecturer says - chestfeeding is NOT a thing!
DeleteBreast isn’t even exclusive to humans! Chickens have breasts ffs (does Skylar know what that acronym is for? If so...sorry!).
DeleteI feel like Skylar and I grew up in very different times and very different places.
ReplyDeleteBut we’re actually the same age and grew up about an hour away from each other.