Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Give me drugs

Skylar has some big test this Friday and I've got Strangerville Live on Friday and both of us have been wandering through our lives like zombies for about two weeks.

Sky has been spending an unreasonable amount of time studying in the cafe area of Barnes & Noble, or as he still calls it, "Barnes & Nobles."

I'm serious. I can't get him to stop doing this. He refuses to acknowledge the pain he is causing me. This is basically a hate crime at this point. If I could change only one thing about him, it would be this. Well, actually it would be the toothpaste spit he doesn't wash down the drain in the bathroom sink like a civilized human should do. Or I would change the fact that he's only at the beginning of grad school and instead make him a billionaire so I could retire and work on my garden. Or, rather, have my people work on my garden.

I'm not doing labor if I have a billionaire sugar daddy.

I've been lecturing him on a regular basis about "priorities" whenever I think he should be studying and he isn't. Skylar doesn't need the lectures. He's a responsible grownup, even if he does say Barnes & Nobles. But if I'm not bossing someone around, who even am I?


To his credit, he has taken this in stride. I believe that he must have accepted me for my flaws because he has stopped trying to correct most of them. That should be a beautiful thing, but actually it just feels kind of unsettling the way he's decided to enable some of my worst behaviors.

Not impressed, Sky man.

I know I need to be careful about the things I write about him on this site because he does actually read it. He waits until I'm around to do so so he can get credit for his support. It's always the same--out of the blue he'll pull out his phone and say "I wonder if there's a new post on my favorite blog," which is actually kind of sweet. Until he complains that there isn't a new post and then yells "entertain me!"

Skylar "studying." (THAT LOOKS LIKE FACEBOOK, YOUNG MAN)

The point is, we need a vacation.

And the second point is, we are excited to see you at our show!

We only have a handful of tickets left, so if you plan on coming, you better get them now.

And if you do come, please bring me a Xanax.

Yes, I'm using Stranger to solicit drugs now.

~It Just Gets Stranger

8 comments:

  1. How about quick acting clonazepam? I'm almost out but I love you enough that I'd totally spare one even though it's totally illegal and unethical. I'm sort of beyond the point of caring.

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  2. believe that he must have accepted me for my flaws because he has stopped trying to correct most of them. That should be a beautiful thing, but actually it just feels kind of unsettling the way he's decided to enable some of my worst behaviors.---this is my husband. And it just cost me a house! Gah. Bring on the Xanax... Or the clonazepam!!

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  3. You guys still have a Barnes and Noble store? Lucky! Most of ours in the Bay Area have closed. I believe it’s because Amazon is taking over the world, and we are all helping them do it! You just can’t beat Prime. Why drive to a store if it can be delivered to your doorstep the next day? But it’s still sad. I love book stores.

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  4. My mom pluralizes (?) nearly every store.

    I need to go to Costcos.

    Do you want to go to Megaplex or Cinemarks?

    Home Depots doesn't carry the right kind of paint.

    It kills my soul on a very regular basis

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    1. I will have to listen to my mother-in-law closely. I think she may do this. She is in her 80's and has shoulder length blonde hair that she whips back and forth. She flips her hair at her shoulders like she is totally exasperated. It's more funny than not. She is 80# but she thinks she is still a teenager. I don't know if that's awesome or sad.

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    2. In our defense, we old people remember when stores used to be owned by the people they were named after, not by some international conglomerate. Higbee's in Cleveland was founded by a guy named Edwin Higbee. You might remember Higbee's as the big department store where Ralphie visits Santa in the movie A Christmas Story.

      Okay I had to look up Higbee's first name, but he was a specific guy. So we're not pluralizing, we're assigning possession. To us old folks it's "Barnes & Noble's." Like it's a store belonging to some guys whose last names are Barnes and Noble.

      As a side note, the old Higbee's store in downtown Cleveland is now a casino...sort of like what happens to Bedford Falls in It's a Wonderful Life without the happy ending.

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    3. You forgot Kroger’s, which, as Ginger says, is assigning possession to its founder, Barney Kroger.

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    4. My mother-in-law does the same thing! I wondered why. Our local grocery store growing up was named after the owner. Same for the town next door. So that makes sense! Except, I’ve never heard anyone else call it Krispy Kremers.

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