So, here's my experience watching Jaws for the very first time. Also, what "old" movie do I need to see next?
Just about to watch Jaws for the first time. Trying to find out why everyone so hella skerd of a fish.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
It just started and there’s already WATER NUDITY— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
Home girl just got eaten by a shark because that’s what happens when you take your clothes off.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
They just found her body. The shark tried to burry her on the beach like Harry did for Dobby but it’s hard cuz no shovels or upper body strength.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
So far they are IN TO IT pic.twitter.com/FBoD8W8CWc— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
The old white people do not want to believe there’s a shark out there and so far that’s the most 2019 thing about this movie.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
THERE WAS ANOTHER SHARK ATTACKKKKKKKK pic.twitter.com/igVdRmgVy7— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
Somebody just offered to go kill the shark for $10k which is like 12 million dollars in 2019 money.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 7, 2019
RICHARD DREYFUSS IS IN THIS OMG MR. HOLLAND’S OPUS IS ABOUT TO GET OPUSSED— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
So they caught a shark but Mr. Holland’s Opus is like IT’S THE WRONG ONE JAWS IS STILL OUT THERE and I believe him because there’s still a lot of movie time left.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
I am stress knitting YES THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL SCARF TGANK YOU I WILL SEND YOU THE PATTERN pic.twitter.com/y6NJxkgYXT— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
HE JUST POURED RED WINE INTO A GLASS WITH ICE MAKE A WHOLE MOVIE ABOUT THAT pic.twitter.com/O4NAiyC6zH— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
So Richard Dreyfus and the town mayor/sheriff/Ms. Utah are out hunting the shark and they are a little drunk but so am I SO WHO’S JUSGING— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
So the one old white guy refuses to close the beaches for the 4th of July probably because he’s never experienced adversity before so he can’t comprehend the whole shark problem.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
Everyone was a little ugly in the 70s.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
So they hired ol’ 10k dollar guy to go catch the shark and he’s taking Richard Dreyfus with him because he has a beard— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
So far there is not a single competent woman in this entire film NO WONDER WE PAY YOU LESS— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
In a way, isn’t this movie about relationships?
Ok so they tied a yellow barrel to the shark so they could find it later, a tactic that also works with children in Disneyland.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
They’re just I discriminately shooting a gun at the ocean which is basically 2019 U.S. foreign policy.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
I am 3/4 of the way through this and I don’t know a single person’s name. WHAT IS THIS, MY JOB???— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
I wish I was watching Finding Nemo. Or Ellen.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
Ok so the shark looks like a muppet. pic.twitter.com/ve34DIljNx— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
Now this thing is turning into Titanic. I seriously hope they never let go. pic.twitter.com/x2MihNAvlD— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
They’ve killed this Voldemort shark like 7 times.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
~It Just Gets StrangerOk they blew the shark up and then it ended. I’m going to watch some Marie Kondo and calm down.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) July 8, 2019
I follow you on Twitter and even have your Tweets sent to me via text (I should get some massive June Snapple points for that BTW) and I only got a couple of these as texts . . .IS TWITTER BROKEN!!?!?!?
ReplyDeleteOkay - old movies to watch (if you haven't already):
Gremlins
Poltergeist
The Pirate Movie (I'm a little disappointed in you if you HAVEN'T already watched this)
Labyrinth
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (I showed this to my 12 (now 13) year old recently and all he kept saying was how stupid it was - I seriously thought he could easily write it up for TV and Jelly)
I have never seen Jaws. Now, I feel like I don't need to! Thanks for the recap!
ReplyDeleteHow's wedding planning going???
Can you please do Gone With The Wind for me because I’ve never watched it and don’t really want to either, yet I still want to know the important stuff and I don’t mean a basic summary...I mean exactly the kind of stuff you point out. That’s the important part. :)
ReplyDeleteHoney. I watched the entirety of Gone With the Wind on my flight back from Palau in 2013 and I still don't even really know.
DeleteI totally second the vote for Labyrinth!
ReplyDeleteYou have no power over me!
DeleteLove Love Love Jennifer Connelly!
Have you ever watched Goonies? In college, and we were all 80s kids by the way, I was the only one in the apartment who had never watched it. So of course they said I HAD to because it was “the best.” They all loved it. I sat there checking my watch wondering why in the hockey-sticks anyone would get so excited by it. I think maybe you had to watch it as a child to appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteGoonies never die . . . .yeah - I never really got that one either. Or Clockwork Orange.
DeleteHave you seen Down Periscope?? I LOL every time I watch it
ReplyDeleteI totally follow you on twitter and was following the live tweeting - LOVED IT! As for old movies:
ReplyDeleteLabrynth
Time Bandits
Exploerers
The toxic avenger
Barbarians
Some of these are B movies from the 80's but they are totally worth it!
I attempted to watch Time Bandits once. As an adult. It is so trippy and I couldn’t make it through but I would love to read Eli’s review in the same way that I hate the Bacjelor except when Eli writes about it
DeleteThe competent woman tweet is possibly the funniest thing you’ve ever written. And I have laughed A LOT at your blogs.
ReplyDelete2001 a space odyssey.
ReplyDeletePsycho
YOU MUST WATCH The Pirate Movie IMMEDIATELY! There are SONGS about LOVE and PIRATES and LOVE.
ReplyDeleteHow about Back to the Future or The Dark Crystal?
I feel like we already gave you all of these recommendations and you have just ignore them ...
I love you Sarah.
DeleteI have literally never found a single other person that loves this movie as much as I do. When I put it on my husband looks at me in disbelief and then leaves the room. The first time I made him watch it he FELL ASLEEP! I can't even . . . .
Also - I need to rewatch the Dark Crystal so I'm prepared for the television series . . .
Please, Please watch/review The Craft. Or...
ReplyDeleteBreakfast at Tiffany's
Outsiders
Stand By Me
Oh, and the movie Clue!
DeleteUHF!
ReplyDeleteThe Scarlet Pimpernel with Jane Seymour and Ian McKellen
ReplyDeleteCandleshoe with Jodie Foster and David Niven
The Ghost and Mrs Muir with Gene Tierney and Rex Harrison
Adventures in babysitting, outrageous fortune, big business, second sight... I swear I was a kid in the 80s but this is what my parents let me watch.
ReplyDeleteNo judgement on your parents - I watched Halloween and The Birds when I was 5. And my husband wonders where my night terrors come from . . . . .
DeleteOh - and I was 10 when I saw Hollywood Wives . . . .
Definitely DEFINITELY rewatch Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat as an adult (because we all know the McCaaaaan (sp?) house had to have that on repeat). Like, it’s a whole different kind of wonderful as a parent. And also I all of a sudden noticed all the nipple pasties.
ReplyDeleteI watched Jaws when I was a teenager and it was actually scary to me (I didn't get a lot of media back then). I allowed my children to watch it when they were young and I warned them that it was really scary ..... they laughed all the way through it. Scary 70s stuff is not scary anymore.
ReplyDeleteThe Court Jester, though if you don't like it I might have to hunt you down and trim your hair. Danny Kaye in his prime, Angela Lansbury when she was like 19, it's gold.
ReplyDeleteI also think you'd get a huge kick out of Rocket Man. Not the new one about Elton John, the Harland Williams one about a socially inept mathematician who goes on a manned (and chimped) mission to Mars. It's best viewed when slightly exhausted (or probably slightly drunk).
Clue would be hilarious to live tweet, Young Frankenstein would be pretty good, maybe Airplane?
YES! Court Jester is fantastic, and Rocketman is one of my dad's favorite movies!
DeleteAlso, you should watch:
The Ghost and Mr Chicken
What's Up Doc
Undercover Blues
Blackbeard's Ghost
Court Jester is so excellent!!!
DeleteOnly got 10 minutes in to "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" before giving up, would be ever so grateful if you'd end that torture and tell me how it ends, or the point of the story, or why?
ReplyDeleteMovies-I feel like you could do a whole other serious of "Mormon Mom approved movies from our childhoods, that WErEN'T church films"
-Better off Dead
-The Changeling - not the nicole kidman one, older
-Watcher in the Woods
-?Return to Witch Mountain?
-Drop Dead Fred