Well we spent the day wine tasting NOT THAT WE KNOW WHAT THAT IS and that ended up being a very dangerous thing because Solvang has some art shops with paintings that cost exactly elevently million dollars cubed times fifty carry the one multiple by the integer. By the end of the day, Skylar, who has to get a liver transplant just from walking past a vineyard, was so drunk none of us get to go to heaven ever again.
Tangent: I'm not kidding about this. Skylar weighs 14 pounds. And he rarely drinks. But he really loves wine--or, at least he loves the thought of wine. But every time he actually has a sip of anything he spends the next five months waking up every morning saying "I'm so hungover." And I'm like "SKYLAR YOU HAD COUGH SYRUP IN FEBRUARY YOU ARE NOT STILL HUNGOVER IT'S JUNE." And then he gets mad at me for speaking without punctuation, because that's what wine snobs do.
Anyway, on this particular Solvang day, Skylar was legitimately the most drunk I have ever seen him, and that includes this one time when we had just first started dating and we met in NYC and went to a party and ended up at a McDonald's at 3:00 AM eating a pile of very-not-good hamburgers and he reached over and grabbed my hand, looked me straight in the eye with this very sweet look like he was about to say something sentimental, and whispered "I want you to know, I hate this. I don't like staying up late. I don't know what we're doing here. I wanted to go to bed at 9:00. I hope you don't expect more of this from me."
And that was the last time Skylar and I did anything fun.
The point is, he was extremely drunk in Solvang after tasting like four wines over the course of 9 hours and the next thing I knew we had stumbled into an art gallery, looked at a painting that cost so much that no one can ever go to college again, shouted "WE'LL TAKE IT" and now that painting is hanging on our living room wall.
We still love it, and don't regret it at all. Not even after some of you complained about having to get summer jobs to pay for the dorms and books.
Well, I say all of this because we just reached out and purchased more art from the same artist (Chris Pavlov) because we love it so much and now not only can none of you go to college but none of you can ever eat again and we're sorry about that but not sorry enough to change.
Here are some pictures of where they are in the house.
They are beautiful. I'm sorry I spent money on these and not on you.
Also, please enjoy a new Strangerville:
This time in Strangerville, Meg is firmly anti-democracy, Daniel Tiger is the Oprah for toddlers, and Eli takes a breath in 2020.
Story
An Unsettling Chance To Breathe, by Eli McCann (music by Our Friendly Beasts)
Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter
~It Just Gets Stranger
Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteSkylar is basically my husband but without the being drunk and looking deeply into my eyes, and holding my hand while he confesses. But everything else, the staying up late once or twice while we were dating and then admitting he always just wants to go to bed at 9 and then actually going to bed at 9 even if it means we have to turn off our tv show with eight minutes left in the episode is just me here, losing my sanity. And I am you, I also lose all sense of punctuation when I am yelling.
ReplyDeleteAs an art teacher- thank you for buying art you love from a real artist. It's worth it to have things you love!
ReplyDeleteThose are awesome paintings. I approve. And I know that means everything - not just to you but to everyone.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I’d been hemming and hawing on whether I should buy some paintings but always caught myself wondering, “Would Nicole approve??” Now I know and it really does mean everything.
DeleteLovely art. Fully approve! Did you have some to-die-for aebleskivers while you were in Solvang? The little book store is a must see too.
ReplyDeleteCollege is overrated. I'm glad you're not sending me back there. I will miss eating, though. Is there money in the couch cushions to pay for Skylar to get all his blood replaced with fresh, alcohol-free blood? Or to buy a copy of that TP print to decorate your bathroom or dining room with full 2020 opulence?
ReplyDeleteMany years ago, we were in Venice. Part of out tour was a trip to the Murano Glass Factory. My husband and I received a personal demonstration of glass blowing, then were ushered into the gift shop. We were wandering around, each looking at different items, when I hear my husband say “Look at that fish.” I turned and say a beautiful, simple olive green, brown, with touches of teal, fish. The very astute, salesman quickly placed it in my husband’s grasp. At that point, I knew the fish would be coming home with us. Not only did we buy the fish, we now had to return home and purchase a piece of furniture to place it in to show it off. Our kids didn’t get to go to college fall semester. 🤣 However, because of the purchase, we got to view the Murano’s personal collection of glass artwork. We saw some amazing pieces and some historical items that just blew us away. Hurray for art!
ReplyDeleteThe same thing happened to me in Rome. I admired a Murano peacock and mistakingly, went into the store and asked to see it. I loved it but told the young salesman that I would never be able to get it back to Ohio intact. He showed me how he would wrap it up in laters and laters of bubble wrap, tissue and cardboard. Then he gave me a knowing grin. I knew I was beat. As I handed over the money, I said, ‘You’re good.’ He just smiled. My beautiful peacock adorns my dining room table. and I stiil love it.
DeleteEditor's note: I have been informed Solvang is a Danish town. The Suzzzzzzz just screamed this at me on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteI went to Solvang when I was 14. That was sszzzsssss years ago. Don't worry. You can donate all your money to me next year. ;)
ReplyDeleteI was just in Solvang a week and a half ago! Next time you go, I highly recommend the specialty olive oil store. I wasn't expecting much, but my mom and sister wanted to stop in, and it ended up being quite mind-blowingly wonderful. They have all of these flavor-infused olive oils and balsamics that are INCREDIBLE. The flavors seriously pop out at you, not hide in a way that you have to use your imagination to trick yourself into believing that you can taste a subtle hint of them. They have dozens of flavors of both the oils and balsamics, and little sacrament-sized paper cups for you to pour yourself samples to taste. Blood orange. Basil. Chocolate. Some kind of herb mixture. The list goes on. I never thought I'd see the day i spent $15 on a 8oz bottle of anything, but i found myself madly in love with a blackberry-ginger balsamic vinegar and have found myself having to resist the urge to just have a swig of it right from the bottle when I'm in the kitchen. Also, the owner of the shop was in there working, and he was super nice and happy to answer questions, but not at all pushy and let us just wander the store and sample away without hanging over our shoulders or pressuring us to buy something. I would 100% detour to Solvang again if in the Santa Barbara area just to go back to that shop.
ReplyDeleteEli, You need to be all of our art dealer. You always pick beautiful pieces!
ReplyDeleteOMG my dream job.
DeleteWhile you're dealing art, could you also decorate our kitchens for us? I've been scrupulously eyeing all the details of your lovely kitchen/fireplace/house/Duncan. Despite our very heartfelt attempts, my husband and I have only succeeded at making very ugly things maybe a little less very ugly. (I tell myself that tasteful home decorating is gift only gay men can have so that I don't feel so bad about my imploded house art.)
DeleteUgh. So, so beautiful! And I love that you framed them in white frames. Really punctuates the art's beauty. My husband and I drooled over some jaw dropping art from a trip to Park City buuuuuut we had to choose buying a house or the portrait. So now we sleep on the streets with our three children and our gorgeous horse portrait.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could take credit for the frames, but the artist chose those. And, yes, they are perfect.
DeleteFeeling very ashamed of my Z Gallerie art right now.
ReplyDeleteSolvang is a Danish town! I come from a Danish family, so it’s my favorite place. My dad grew up there and my grandma is still there to this day. Solvang is the best, but it was even better before it became full of wineries.
ReplyDelete