His first rotation is in gynecology. They do these rotations in part to help the students try to figure out what kind of doctor they want to be. I already nixed gynecology for Skylar after I imagined a likely future scenario in which he calls from work every evening and says "I got gabbing with my first patient—she was a GODDESS—and then missed all the rest of my appointments for the day so now I have to work until 4:00 AM."
When he first started medical school I made a lot of jokes about what kind of doctor I needed him to be—all motivated by selfish reasons, of course. The list included only specialties that could give me access to cheap elective cosmetic surgeries and an ocean of botox. After a while I became worried that my jokes would get taken seriously so I way over-corrected and started giving a weekly speech about how I didn't care at all what he did as long as he was happy. Within 24 hours he started leaving open on his laptop applications to professional improv groups.
Ok, that last part isn't true, but if he had enough time right now to be funny it would be.
The point is, I need him to make us all look young again but I need him to think it was his choice. That way I can seem pretty and supportive.
The need to engage on the eternal quest for youth all came a little too close to home on Sunday when we saw my five-year-old nephew, Ander. He was in the back seat of our car when he asked it.
Ander: Uncle Eli, is Skylar your son?
Eli: What?
Ander: Is Skylar your little boy?
Eli: Is Skylar my . . . little boy?
Ander: Yeah. Are you his dad and that's why you live in the same house?
Eli: Ander. No. I . . . uh . . . Skylar is my husband. Buddy, you were at our wedding.
Ander: Oh, yeah. Are you married to Matt, too?
Eli: . . . I honestly don't know.
It was straight up that scene from The Parent Trap where the British twin who is pretending to be the California twin thinks her dad is going to adopt Meredith when he's trying to tell her he's getting married. "I've always wanted a big sister!"
And, yes. I know I referenced the incorrect The Parent Trap above. But referring to the original version instead of the Lindsey Lohan version would probably not be a good look for me as I'm licking my wounds from a five-year-old assuming I'm old enough to be my 30-year-old husband's father.
This stinging question could not have come at a worse time. Skylar and I have been engaged in an ongoing feud in which we make people we meet uncomfortable by asking them to guess which of us is older. Most are too afraid to answer what is clearly a very loaded question. The results are mixed, and largely affected by who has been sleeping less lately.
I'll probably regret this, but here's a poll for you to weigh in:
 |
| Eli, Left. Skylar, Right. (In case you're new here. And if you are, SORRY ABOUT ALL THE POOP REFERENCES. AND TAMI.) |
We once asked a woman this question at a restaurant and she responded, "I don't know. You both look really mature." which was absolutely not the answer we wanted. She also didn't ask either of us for ID when we ordered devil's drinks, an offense that cannot be forgiven.
Anyway, Skylar is a gynecologist right now, I have eye wrinkles, and The Gay Agenda may have ruined my 5-year-old nephew's ability to understand monogamous marriages.
P.S. I apparently forgot to actually embed this week's Strangerville on the last post, so here it is:
~It Just Gets Stranger
I am declining answering the poll, as a reader of any amount of time does...and that you are both younger than me, about to be even younger in a little over a week...so yes, I decline. And also, since I’ve birthed 3 children and would take an act of god to birth more...congrats to skyler being a gynecologist (a doctor I will never need again 😂)...so our paths will never cross in this rotation.
ReplyDeleteHappy summer ☀️
Oh, and I loved the original Parent Trap - and your nephew's innocent question - and that you are married to Matt and Skyler is your son!! Ohhh, the thought process of kids! How does Skyler feel about all of this?!
Delete(at one point, when I was going through some health issues - my middle child thought I was a pregnant, closet drinker, 63 year old...pregnancy impossible (act of god - but medical condition made me sleep all the time and I was sick all the time), family of alcoholics (don't drink, but neighbors' 20 year old kids loved to put their alcohol evidence in our trash cans), and definitely NOT 63 (I had not even reached my 40's at that point). Their point of view leaves a lot to the imagination...just roll with it!
Omg
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't there an option for "you both look youthful and have equally perfect, glowy complexions"?
ReplyDeleteThis.
DeleteLindsay Lohan Parent Trap is perfection and you can not convince me otherwise. I watched it so much as a kid my younger brother can still quote it in its entirety. I used to practice the secret handshake with him too.
ReplyDeleteYou look the exact same age which must mean you are twins, which makes your marriage slightly better than him being your son and your husband.
ReplyDeleteYou both look 22 to me.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 26 my co-worker couldn’t believe how young I was and said she thought I was her age. I didn’t know how old she was but I knew what year she graduated high school so I did the math ..... SHE THOUGHT I LOOKED 38! I WAS 26!!!
Now I am 45 and students regularly refuse to believe I was old enough to go to college in the 90s. I like them much more than my previous co-worker.
So the poll you should have done is what type of doctor Skylar should be so we could all decide for him. I'd personally vote for him to be a GP so when my current doctor retires in a few years I'll have someone to go to.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I would like bonus points for not making one "daddy" joke.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, because of med school and residency Skylar will age at an expedited rate, just wait a few years
ReplyDeleteI answered Skyler - the only reason is because he has the same sweater on as my dad. Otherwise - you both look like you are around 30. Makes me jealous how beautiful you both are!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for Skyler to start on his other rounds. I had a student on their Derm rounds and they actually pulled out a book and asked me if the rash I had looked like the one in the book. My rash was on my hand - he could have looked himself but he said he really didn't like seeing icky stuff.
Good luck Skyler!
I picked Skylar because of the Dad sweater. I see the post above me is the same!
ReplyDeleteWoah! This is a close race!
ReplyDeleteOkay, but Eli were you wearing glasses when you had this conversation? Because I once took my nephew to a park and some kids he was playing with asked if I was his mom, and when I said I was his aunt there response was "but then why do you have glasses?" So if you were wearing glasses you probably just looked like a parent at the time and your nephew couldn't think of anyone else to assign as your child.
ReplyDeleteI vote for Skylar to be a gyno because he wouldn't be one of those creepy male doctors that make you wonder why they are in the profession they are in. Plus talking would be a huge plus because it is so uncomfortable being naked on that table.
ReplyDeleteI picked Skylar because he had more scruff. I was also disappointed this was not a poll to decide what kind of doctor he should be. America should get to decide the future of America’s doctor, amiright or this really hasn’t even been America for a long time now has it?
ReplyDeleteAlso, below where it makes you put in your name and website, I am so tired that I put in my name and then immediately started typing the password that I use on ALL THE THINGS and wow, my life almost got swallowed up by every single identity thief. Phew.
I’ve been a kindergarten teacher for {mumble mumble} and can tell you that kids at that age only see things in relation to themselves. Every time my husband or grown son came to my classroom they asked if he was my dad. In the case of my son, if I really wanted to blow their little minds, I would tell them that he was my little boy and I was his mum. They really couldn’t handle the fact that I was their teacher and a mum!
ReplyDeleteAnd to make you feel a little better, when my daughter was six she came home from school and asked if I had been a pilgrim when I was a little girl.
That is adorable. When my now-17-year-old niece was 8 she asked my sister if they had bathrooms when she was growing up. We still laugh about that all the time.
DeleteOne time my niece was at my house and I made her lunch. In the process I sliced an apple. Later, my sister calls to let me know my niece told her I “used a big knife”. She tattled on me! She thought I was not old enough to use a big knife because only daddy and mommy use big knives. I was 28, married, but didn’t have kids so she thought of me as a peer.
ReplyDeleteI’m dying because a similar incident just happened to me 😂 My husband and I are the same age as you and Skylar, unfortunately I am the older one. Recently while on vacation at a lake, after a kayaking adventure, when pulling up to the beach, a little girl(estimated age 4ish) walking by with her family, started asking my husband about his boat, then she asked his name was as small children do, so he told her, then he asked her what her name was, to which she responded- Alexa Rose(I love the Schitt’s Creek reference) but that’s not the best part. She then turns, looks directly at me, and asks my husband what’s his mom’s name is! Obviously not great for my pre-existing complex about being the older one. Also not great for my self esteem with 4 months of grey hair grow out because of covid and living in WA. Salon access has been a struggle, but that’s a story for a different day.
ReplyDelete