Friday, June 5, 2015

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

It's Wade's birthday. He's turning 9. Or something. I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that he wasn't even alive when Seinfeld debuted. Which makes all the rest of us exactly 1,000 years old.

I kept asking him what he wanted to do for his birthday and he kept not giving me an answer. So I am now thrusting a dinner party on him. A very obsessively-planned dinner party, which has caused me to be extremely tightly wound the last few days, making me a most uncomfortable person to be around at the moment.

I swear to you guys that I am so uptight right now that, in what I think may have been a really embarrassing overreaction, I actually called 911 yesterday. I am reserving that story for my next time on The Porch, though, because the train wreck that was my life yesterday afternoon needs to be explained in person.

Until then, here are your Pictures and Distractions:
Last week's bike ride near home.

Wandering downtown Salt Lake City.

The very nautically-themed room at Lava Hot Springs.

Mr. Ollie Pants on his birthday. By the time I arrived he was too exhausted to keep celebrating. 

All of my flowers are dying. Meanwhile, at The Perfects' house . . .
Stranger Picture of the Week
Spotted in a grocery store. Thanks, Becca.

Crap to distract you from whatever you're supposed to be doing:

Shaving dogs into cubes. Thanks, Krishelle.

Frozen peanut butter patties. Please. Let this confuse you. Thanks, Krishelle.

I know I'm so behind on this. But, Single Ladies to the Ducktales theme song. Thanks, everyone.

Thoughts you've had while driving. Thanks, sassy Kim.

While we're on the topic of Canada. Thanks, Breanna.

My arm got tired from holding it up for this. But it was totally worth it. Thanks, Janel.

Modified signs for a pet store. Thanks, Craig.

Selfie stick PSA. Thanks, Karen.

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~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. You know, now that I'm following you on Instagram, I'm feeling a tad ripped off that you're recycling pictures from there. Don't you know about my instant gratification need?

    Great pictures though. I seriously want to have your neighbors come and landscape my yard.

    1. It's all in the attitude. You're supposed to feel like if you follow me on Instagram you are getting a VIP exclusive sneak peek at what's coming.

    2. Well the Perfects are such kind people that they would be glad to help with your yard...they would probably bring you freshly baked chocolate chip cookies as well.

    3. I really think Lee should be apologizing somewhere in this conversation to keep his Canadian citizenship. The Canada distraction was delightful--#sorryeh made me snort with laughter. Love those Canadians!

      Although Eli has proven that he is an able and excellent cook, I'm getting a Bridget Jones-vibe from these birthday dinner preparations. There's still time to take Suz's advice and bag it all for Chuck-E-Cheese, which is the preferred venue for 9-year-olds anyway. And you can spend $20 to win a bunch of tickets to trade in for temporary tattoos or finger traps or fortune telling fish! (But what would I know. I couldn't figure out which pictures were food on my captcha).

  2. Today is my friend Erik's birthday, so yesterday I made him leave work at 5pm and I drove down to Ogden, picked him up and refused to tell him where we were going or what we would be doing. Then we drove to Park City and took him to a 5 course dinner at the PC Culinary Institute. All the amazing food and ambiance, none of the work and stress..that is if you don't factor in the 4 hours of driving I did yesterday between 4pm and midnight. You should have skipped the dinner party and did what I did, either that or just take him to Chuck E Cheese and turn him loose, one of the two.

  3. What are the chopsticks for in the PB patties video?

    Since when is "fresh baked bread" so perfectly shaped?

    A thousand patties?

    So of many questions ...

  4. Wait. There are adults who were born AFTER Seinfeld premiered? Say it isn't so!

  5. I have now watched an hour worth of videos from the frozen peanut butter pattie guy... Hil-freakin'-larious!!!! So much win!

    1. My two favorites:

      Rootbeer Bread
      It's Frozen Pizza Night/A Little On The Romantic Side

    2. Rootbeer bread was a great one!! Haven't seen the other one yet. Did you see the cheeseless pizza one or the 9 minute video on how to make peanut butter crackers or Deep Fried Boiled eggs?? I seriously love this guy!! Hahaha!!!

  6. Skip the blog post on modified signs for a pet store and go straight to the guy's tumblr account: The Gym Rat is by far the funniest thing I've read in forever. I can't stop laughing.

    1. That guy's blog is awesome. I loved the Godzilla lizard and the boring turtle that is not teenaged, not a ninja, and definitely not a mutant.