Monday, May 29, 2017

My Conversation with Laura Linney

Natalie: Oh my gosh. That's Laura Linney ten feet in front of us.

Eli: WHAT?! WHERE?

Natalie: . . . ten feet in front of us.

Eli: I'VE NEVER MET HER!

Natalie: Should that be a surprise to me?

Eli: She's just standing there! Right. There.

Natalie: Yeah. So she can probably hear you. Because you're talking super loudly.

Eli: What are we supposed to do in this situation?! HOW DO I EVEN LOOK OMG MY BREATH!!!?

Natalie: I'm guessing from the tone of your voice and the fact that your words aren't making sense that you like Laura Linney?

Eli: Who DOESN'T like Laura Linney?! I mean, I guess I've never really thought about it before. But, yeah. I really do like Laura Linney.

Natalie: So go talk to her!

Eli: But what would I say?!

Natalie: Tell her you like her and ask her if you can take a picture with her.

Eli: But that's so annoying! She probably wants to be left alone!

Natalie: No. She knows what her job is. This is part of her job. Plus you don't look very crazy and you're wearing a suit. So it will probably be a welcomed fan interaction.

Eli: Ok. I can do this.

Natalie: Are you nervous?

Eli: Um . . . no. I'm not nervous. Why should I be? She's just a person who happens to be good at acting. If our interaction doesn't go well, it will have no effect on my life whatsoever.

Natalie: Not at all nervous?

Eli: No.

Natalie: Ok then just go for it!

Eli: Ok! [Eli walks ten feet forward]. Um hello.

Laura Linney: Hello.

Eli: Haha. Good to make your acquaintance. Or . . . not that. Nice meets. Meeting. Um . . . So if the--I mean. But you are here.

Laura Linney: Ok?

Eli: That's not what I m--hi. Except you already know that! I mean I already said it. Hello. That I said. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Laura Linney: Yes . . . um . . . hello again.

Eli: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Laura Linney: Ok?

Eli: THE TRUMAN SHOW! I mean, that movie where you say it with the thing with the Jim Carey you know NOT THAT I WISH HE WAS HERE because I'm so glad to meet you! HAHAHAHA.

Laura Linney: Oh . . . you like that movie? Thank you!

Eli: What I mean is that this camera or I mean phone or I mean if my friend has or she'll take . . . um . . . can we?

Laura Linney: You want to take a picture together?

Eli: Precisely! I don't know why I said "precisely" though. I usually say "exactly." This time I said "precisely." NOT THAT I'M NERVOUS!

Laura Linney: We can take a picture! I'm flattered that you want to!

Eli: Ok! [Then in a dragon voice that shook the streets of New York City] NATALIE! TAKE OUR PICTURE! LAURA LINNEY WANTS A PICTURE WITH ME! TAKE! IT!

Natalie: Ok . . . Smile, you two!

Eli: [standing side by side for a picture] Sorry.

Laura Linney: Excuse me?

Eli: Just. Sorry. Because I'm annoying. And I'm sorry.

Laura Linney: You're not annoying!

Eli: Ok. It's just that everyone probably does this to you because who doesn't like you? I mean come on, Laura Linney.

Natalie: You two look very handsome together!

Eli: STOP IT NATALIE! [in a dragon voice]

[Click]

Eli: Oh! AND Abigail Adams! Because we just went to Hamilton but you were Abigail Adams! So that's neat!

Laura Linney: Ok . . . well you two have a great evening.

Eli: And for you! [Eli slightly bows, very aggressively. It looks like an attempted head butt.]

[Walking away]

Eli: Well I think that went quite well.

Natalie: She can still hear you.


Post Script: When I posted this picture on the Instagrams, Disney Prince Hair Brandt commented and asked whether I got an explanation from Laura Linney for why she introduced Downton Abbey every week. (For those unfamiliar, Laura Linney used to walk out onto a dark stage every week and say "I'm Laura Linney. Now please enjoy this week's Downton Abbey." And this made no sense because Laura Linney has nothing to do with Downton Abbey. It would be like if Oprah came on the TV every week to tell you to enjoy Happy Days or something.). Not getting an explanation for this when I actually could have is my biggest life regret. 

~It Just Gets Stranger

24 comments:

  1. That is exactly what I would have said! I love Laura Linney and I love her even more now that I know how she'd respond to a blubbering mess.
    Precisely.

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  2. I was waiting for the photo to be NOT Laura Linney, because face blindness. Is it weird that I'm disappointed that it actually was a photo with Laura Linney (no offense Laura Linney, you're fabulous...and probably not reading this blog, so why am I apologizing)?

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    1. That would have been SO much better. And likely to happen to me. Because facial blindness.

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    2. At Sundance one year I was standing in line at a restaurant and I thought the person in front of me was someone I went to high school with, because I sort of recognized them. Nope, turned out to be a stranger I sort of recognized because they were on TV. It went something like "Hey, did you go to Sky View?" and them saying "What's Sky View?" and "Oh, nothing, because I didn't go to high school with you" and me bolting from the restaurant like I was on fire.

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    3. My daughter is graduating from Sky View on Thursday. Small world ;p

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    4. Only the coolest people go there ;)

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    5. Except Natalie noticed her and pointed her out so I'm presuming Natalie does NOT have face blindness.

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    6. Does this make Natalie a "seeing eye person" for people with face blindness?

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  3. She does the intro for all masterpiece shows. And another person does the mystery. It is a job she is paid to do. Check out other shows you will see what I mean.

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  4. Oh...so if I step up my stalking efforts and meet you, I will only have one degree of separation between me and Laura Linney? Is that how it works?

    Please post your minute by minute schedule for the rest of the year forthwith. I CAN DO THIS!!

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    Replies
    1. And you will have ZERO degrees of separation between you and Tami!

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    2. ...and you just made it weird...thanks Eli

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    3. Zero degrees of separation from Tami. JUST LIKE LAURA LINNEY. Why did you think that would be a threat.

      I'm probably the only person in the universe that doesn't just fast forward through all the Masterpiece Theatre bill paying stuff at the beginning, so I can watch Laura Linney gaze at me and say the mundane and generalized BS she says every week.

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  5. The dragon voice part was my favorite. I don't know why that made me laugh so hard just now.

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  6. So...this (ahem) friend of mine once ran into a very famous person - Ben Johnson - and gushed on and on about how much they loved his body of work, and what was it like to work with The Duke (this friend's idol), and just on and on.

    All the while, Ben stood there smiling and nodding waiting for my friend to finish before replying....."My name is Barry Corbin."

    I heard my friend was embarrassed speechless, and that had never happened to my friend before....or so I heard.

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  7. LOL love the Tami threat Eli. Well done.

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  8. My philosophy has always been the to not bother famous people when I see them, but Natalie's explanation that meeting fans IS a part of their job makes so much sense! Maybe I'll actually get up the nerve to have an even more awkward conversation the next time I meet a famous person.

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    1. Same. Obviously I don't want to harass someone and there are some well-known people I think it's totally inappropriate to bug (Elizabeth Smart, for an obvious example) but if your career is built on you actively trying to gain popularity so you can keep doing your craft, part of the job is interacting with strangers who are making your life possible.

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  9. This is unrelated to your post, but have you ever seen the Grandma Eileen videos on facebook? They remind me of some the Strangerville interviews with your grandmother, and she is awesome!

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  10. I'm so glad you mentioned Abigail Adams because that is probably my favorite role she EVER played.

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  11. Eli...did you watch our John Adams series? Abigal Adams IS her best role ever! She is so good. I am sure she will never forget you! XOXO Mom

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  12. I saw Jesse Plemons in the security area of the airport in Florence, Italy on Tuesday morning. I did not speak to him. Just said, "That was Jesse Plemons!" in a whisper shout to my mom and then had to explain to her who he is. Her response was, "Well, another fun story to add to the adventure we've had."

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  13. Laura Linney is the coolest! I love how her face is like, "Can you please hurry and take this picture because I'm super intimidated by this guy's perfect hair."

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