As you know, I've been working on this four-part series on very uncomfortable Mormon films for Strangerville. Today we're releasing part three, which includes a review of some films about dating. Because I've been watching a shocking amount of really obscure content from eras now gone, Youtube has decided I'm a kind of person I'm truly not. It's been recommending all sorts of things I never knew, or wanted to know, exists.
I have gone to some very dark places in recent weeks.
The other night I came across a BYU propaganda film from 1969.
In case you didn't just watch the entire thing, I'll recap it for you: it's horrifying.
Skylar keeps hearing the sounds of these films coming from the other room and there's a decent chance he's going to leave me if I don't pull myself out of this.
Anyway, we were talking about all of this the other day and because my conversations now follow the progression of Youtube black holes, that eventually led to talking about good movies with scenes we always have to skip.
I cited as a primary example the eternal Cheer Up Charlie song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which no one has ever enjoyed.
Then I mentioned The Love Is Gone from The Muppet Christmas Carol.
It actually might be the worst song that has ever been written. And I'm even considering the entire bodies of work of The Black Eyed Peas and Katy Perry in that assessment.
As I mentioned this, I fully expected Skylar to shout his agreement BECAUSE WHO WOULDN'T AGREE WITH THAT but instead he did something that made me wonder if we're rushing into marriage.
He said he's never seen The Muppet Christmas Carol and that's because "the Muppets are stupid."
It's like I don't know him.
And it's not like he's too grown up for all of this. He watched Paddington 2 in November and SOBBED at the end. He now regularly tells people he thinks it might be the most important film in cinematic history.
HE'S. DEAD. SERIOUS.
I was already feeling a little nervous about the whole marriage thing because the other day he asked me what my middle name was. I screamed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME" so loudly that our house is now being monitored for terrorist activity.
Everyone knows its Whistlebottom.
Anyway, he's a wrong person about The Muppet Christmas Carol.
And I want to know which movie scenes you always skip. (After you check out this week's Strangerville).
This time in Strangerville join us for part three into our series on classic cringey Mormon films, this time including a deep dive into Mormon dating.
Segment
Mormon Films, Part 3, Dating, by Eli McCann
Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter
~It Just Gets Stranger
"Light the lamp, not the rat!" is the line from The Muppet Christmas Carol that always sticks with me. I don't know why. Most definitely NOT because the Muppets are stupid. Don't even start dissing The Muppet Movie, or we'll be throwing hands. I've never heard anybody say a disparaging word about The Muppets. It's un-American to do so! Is Skylar from Communist Russia?!?
ReplyDeleteThat is the line I always quote as well!
ReplyDeleteMuppet Christmas Carol is THE Christmas movie. And I am the girl who binge watches All The Christmas Movies Ever Made plus Netflix Originals so, I love Christmas Movies. AND I will tell you that The Love Is Gone song is the song that helped me understand, at the tender age of very very young that “Love is Pain, Princess” (if you don’t mind the Princess Bride slipping in here). I am going to have to break from both you AND Skylar on this one. Let’s agree to disagree and sing kumbaya.
ReplyDeleteMy Netflix and YouTube think I love Asian Dramas ( Chinese dramas, Taiwanese dramas, Korean Dramas) and BTS, and they aren’t wrong and those black holes they take me down make me very, very happy.
As for skipping scenes... I can’t think of any off the top of my head, if i think of something i will be back.
The Muppets' Christmas Carol is my favorite Christmas movie. I used to watch it EVERY SINGLE DAY of Christmas vacation from school leading up to Christmas break. Annnnndddd sorry sister, I'm with Eli on this one. I used to hate that song. I used to mock it. Actually, I had a little gratitude in my heart for it, because it was a convenient time to use the bathroom or get snacks. Now as an adult, I actually like it, because it's just so sad and real. But I didn't get love as a kid and thought it was the most boring and can we get back to the funny parts already please? My favorite line to quote also has to do with the rats: "This is my island in the sun oy oy!"
DeleteIn the newer releases of Muppet Christmas Carol, that song is taken out! https://www.cinemablend.com/new/Why-Muppet-Christmas-Carol-Deleted-Song-Was-Cut-Really-Should-Have-Stayed-68641.html
ReplyDeleteAnd Skyler better remedy this quickly, definitely my favorite Christmas movie.
The only purpose of the song is that it brings everything full circle at the end of the film when they sing "the love we found." The end always makes me cry, and it makes more sense if you've seen the love lost, so I prefer the full version with the song. However, the rest of my family literally and loudly celebrated when they realized the song had been cut on the new dvd version but then they immediately rescinded that celebration upon realizing that they would now have to pause the movie if they needed a snack or a potty break :)
DeleteThat Cosmo costume was scarier than early Mickey Mouse costumes.
ReplyDeleteI love the BYU film so much! Haaaaa!
ReplyDeleteSome people cannot handle Muppets in any form--they think Sesame Street is creepyville, and all Muppet movies (including Muppet Christmas Carol, shockingly!) are stupid. I have a hard time really understanding these people (because they're wrong), but they definitely exist. I've met kids who can't understand why people like puppets.
ReplyDeleteIs it the same thing if there are second halves that I skip? Like, Fiddler on the Roof is unbearable in its entirety, but if you just watch the first half it's lovely. Into the Woods is too long, and while I understand what Sondheim was trying to accomplish, after the first act I just skip to Children Will Listen and pretend that's the entire musical.
And the cinematic Les Mis is best if you pretend Russell Crowe never existed.
Maybe I'm just a musicals snob.
I'll accept your answer, Brandon, but I need you to know that no further evil speaking of Fiddler on the Roof will be tolerated under THIS internet.
DeleteFair enough. Do I get extirpated if I say to skip the Choreography scene of White Christmas? Because I hate that dance number with the bored passion of a sloth on weed.
DeleteI mostly can just think of songs I would skip in musicals. And typically they’re the female lead singing some slow, boring, sappy love song. But also sometimes long boring dance breaks. These are more in older movies. I recently skipped the out of my dreams part of Oklahoma which is a combination of slow boring sappy and long boring dance break.
ReplyDeletePortobello Road in Bedknobs and Broomsticks goes on for a literal eternity.
ReplyDeleteI can quote MCC verbatim, even that horrible sappy song. It literally plays on a loop in my house starting Dec 1st. I do alternate it with Love Actually because...balance.
ReplyDeleteI'd never seen the 2nd half of UP until a few months ago, will continue to skip the 2nd half. I was baby sitting once and we were watching Winnie the Pooh and the Huffelumps and Woozles song came on, I got up and started fast forwarding. ALL the kids got VERY upset at me, but I explained that it was the "scary" part of the movie and we had to skip it (because when I was a kid it'd give me nightmares, and I didn't want THAT on my conscience). Nuh UH was their response, "we watch scary stuff all the time", which I knew was a lie the minute I heard it, but I asked more questions until I could hit play again, and wouldn't ya know it, scary part over.
I adore The Music Man but I don't adore Shirley Jones'(Jones's) songs in it. (Too slow, too long, too warble-y.) We always skip "Being in Love" and "Till There Was You". Also, Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang has some slow, boring parts that we skip. And in Jumanjii: Welcome to the Jungle (which is a favorite) we skip the "how guys go to the bathroom" tutorial scene because it's waaay too long and uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all: HOW DARE SKYLAR. HOW DARE HE.
ReplyDeleteBut also: a guy I once dated messaged me recently on Facebook to tell me that he recently saw what he believes is the greatest movie ever and he prefaced his statement telling me he was dead serious and this was not a joke. Then he revealed the greatest movie was Paddington 2.
Wtf is happening in this cgi movie about a teddy bear left in a train station that has Millennial men convinced it is the greatest movie in such a rich cinematic history?!
And why do you and I both have questionable taste in men Eli?! Why aren’t there more Jason Segals in the world?!
I am honestly surprised by this entire post and thread because I didn't realize people other than my mother liked the muppets?!
ReplyDeleteI hate anything muppets. And puppets in general. (Although muppets and Tina Fey in Gulag or whatever the heck it's called is bearable enough to watch every few years or so.)
Also- my friend- who is a millienial white man- absolutely loved Paddington 2. I haven't seen it but I'm curious about the hype
ReplyDeleteYou should do recaps of the previous episode for Streangerville
ReplyDeleteYou said "It's the 'I see you're drinking 2%. Is that cause you think you're fat?' line of The Phone Call." It is "I see you're drinking 1%". Don't mean to be rude, I just want to point that out.
ReplyDeleteMY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE
DeleteMaybe I missed it on the podcast (totally possible - I was melting on the treadmill) - but Scott end up with Pam or Becky!?!?!?!?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteHow Near to the angels reminds me of this New Era article with a similar subject from the 80s or something. And holy moly, I went to watch it and a few minutes in I realized it's 41 MINUTES LONG. Nope nope nope. Thanks for watching that so I don't have to! Which begs the question, why?! What could they possibly talk about for 41 miutes? I feel like 20 minutes should be the max for this.
ReplyDeleteI wish it was 141 minutes long because Kent.
DeleteJust popping into say that I saw all of ten minutes of E.T. when I was maybe seven and that was enough to scar me for life. I've never had any desire to ever watch that film.
ReplyDelete