Halloween In These Unprecedented Times

Despite These Unprecedented Times Of Uncertainty We're All In This Together And It Came To Pass, I decided we'd still try to celebrate Halloween. We simply must. It's part of the Gay Agenda. Yes, everyone is given specific roles by Judy Garland when they come out. Some of those roles include things like ruining the definition of family or fixing straight people's houses. But all of us are assigned to celebrate Halloween and we can literally be fined for failing to do it.

Side note, moment of silence for queer icon Cousin Itt:

While the rest of you mouth breathing rat faces were only pretending to fight for lgbtq rights, Cousin Itt was literally passing landmark legislation and being so sexy it was illegal in the process. pic.twitter.com/mfyiLDxCmg

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 31, 2020

Shortly after Cousin Itt penned The Gay Agenda, Cousin Itt was asked when would lgbtq people have enough rights and Cousin Itt said “not until Liza Minnelli is all 9 justices on the Supreme Court.” pic.twitter.com/cmAqAm6mwz

— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 31, 2020

So, I decided to make a pumpkin stew like my momma used to make when I was a lot skinnier and shorter than I am now. If you're good, I'll write up a full recipe post on this very site. The stew was incredible. It ended with filling a pumpkin with meat and potatoes and then baking it in an oven while the man who vowed to love and cherish me for time and all eternity yelled "ARE YOU MAKING A MESS I JUST CLEANED THE KITCHEN." 

I figured we wouldn't have the usual seven trick-or-treaters because, you know, worldwide Pandemic and civil unrest. Nonetheneverthelessshepersisted, we bought a very giant bag of very good candy a week ago in preparation for a hypothetical yet irresponsible and inadvisable onslaught of children looking for candy. And so, on Halloween morning, upon discovering the original supply of candy had mysteriously disappeared, we bought a new batch.

By sunset we had seen only three trick-or-treaters, and those were guilt-trip visits shuttled to us by none other than Meg Walter, whom I texted and begged. She had just explained on Strangerville that she had tried to significantly lower the expectations of her children for this Halloween. Skylar and I stood at the front door, significantly more excited than the kids, grabbing handfuls of candy to throw at them as they resisted making eye contact with us.

I'll win them over one day.

They were our only trick-or-treaters of the night, but that was fine. We dressed ourselves in matching ghost t-shirts, we ate some stew out of a pumpkin, and then Skylar cleaned the kitchen for the second time that day.

And now, please enjoy a truly terrifying ghost story on this week's Strangerville:

This time in Strangerville, Meg visits Skinwalker Ranch and it is CREEPY. Also, two women recount the terrifying experience of trying to expel a ghost from their house.

Story:

Smoking Photograph, by Emily Clark and Karen Peterson (music by Loyalty Freak Music)

Production by Eli McCann, Meg Walter, & The Beehive

~It Just Gets Stranger