PTA Emails

One Stranger, Cheryl, recently asked me to help inflict some pranking revenge against her sister, Tami. Apparently Tami spent the better part of her teen years convincing Cheryl that she had a secret admirer, writing notes to her and leaving Valentine cards. Cheryl found Stranger and the mommy blog a while back and asked me to email Tami, who, as luck would have it, is currently the PTA president in their hometown. I felt a little guilty throughout this one, but Tami was a good sport.

Names and other identifiers have been changed.

To: Tami
From: June Snapple
Subject: PTA

Hi Tami,

Your contact info was passed to me recently. I understand you are the current PTA president. I'm new in town and my children go to Q of C Elementary. I am very interested in becoming as involved in the PTA as possible. I have several ideas I would like to run by you at your earliest convenience.

June Snapple
Former PTA President

Meow That Tune

While Krishelle was visiting Palau the best part of the day was when Daniel and I would go and wake her up at about 6:45 in the morning. I was sleeping in Daniel's room while she was here so she could have my bedroom to herself. Daniel's bedroom has big windows that face the sunrise so as soon as light pierces the sky in the mornings, it becomes pretty impossible to stay unconscious and not sweat oneself into a dehydrated eternal sleep.

The way we would wake Krishelle up was by pretending to be six to eight cats. We would sneak to either side of her and start gently pawing at her arms and sounding high-pitched "meows." We would add limbs one by one and increase the frequency of our meows to make it appear as though half a dozen cats were all around her, pawing at her to wake up and play with them. So, for example, I would paw one hand at her head, the other at her arm, and then would use my foot to paw at her leg, all the while meowing rapidly as Daniel did the same on her other side.

KRISHELLE IS SO LUCKY THAT SHE GOT TO VISIT US FOR TWO WEEKS.

Twice Up the Barrel Asian Tour

As the time in Palau winds down more and more, I'm finding that things are just sort of falling into place. There's still much to do. Every time I remember that I somehow need to find a place to live in Salt Lake City so I can immediately move upon arriving in the United States of America, I can hear the sounds of a ticking clock in the back of my head. But all in all, things seem to be going relatively smoothly on the move-to-the-other-side-of-the-world front.

I wonder if it hasn't seemed that bad because compared to last year when I was trying to move to Palau it just hasn't been that complicated. Moving to Palau was a perturbable nightmare. You know that feeling you get when you are rushed out of the house because you're late and for the rest of the day you have this nagging sense that you forgot to turn something off?

THAT.

Nationally Syndicated Column

There are two newspapers in Palau: The Island Times and Tia Belau. They are glorious beyond all description. Typically filled with stories about people we know, separated by racist or otherwise offensive comics, it's hard to pass up the opportunity to snag one of the papers and take a gander.

Living in a very small town, the local newspaper feels very similar to our school newspaper in college. Except, instead of letters to the editor from angry students who did not appreciate the use of the word "damn" in the prior edition (note: I went to BYU--God's university) there are "tide calendars" and entire pages of Sudoku puzzles.

Recently Daniel somehow came across an email address for someone at Tia Belau and decided to try his hand at journalism. He wasn't sure how to get something published in Tia Belau so rather than contact them and ask, like a normal person, he just typed up an article on a topic he found interesting and emailed it over. His email contained no explanation whatsoever about who he is, why he wrote this thing, or what his expectations were for it. It was just an email with his proposed article copied and pasted into the body. The subject line of the email: "For Immediate Print."

Pictures & Weekly Distractions

Happy weekend, Strangers. It's rainy today in the land of coconuts. Actually, it has pretty much been raining non-stop for about three weeks. I haven't minded this because it has made it just incredibly hot outside instead of the typical jaws of Hell hot.

With four weeks left in Palau, I'm attempting to soak up my final moments of tropical paradise. Also, getting Leotrix updated on his shots so he can travel to the U.S. has been a NIGHTMARE.

And now, your pictures and distractions:



Kicking it with my fish.

Curry Pancakes

The other day Daniel and I went to dinner with a couple of friends.

Now I know it seems like I'm spending a lot of time lately complaining about Daniel's very questionable decisions. I prefer the word "informing." But whatever. Call it what you want. In any event, Daniel will be abandoning me in about ten days so I speak now or forever hold my peace.

Server: Uh-oi. And what would you like sir Daniel.

Daniel: Can I have the chicken curry please?

Server: No problem.

Daniel: Oh, but could I substitute the rice for something else?

Server: Ok.

Daniel: Hmm. Let's see . . . so many good choices . . . how about . . . the pancakes with strawberry syrup?

Video Proof that we Sometimes Get Out

During the course of the last year there have been a bunch of videos I have wanted to record and share with you. But since I live in Palau, the land where the Internet goes to die, sharing these videos has been almost completely impossible. This is frustrating beyond anything I can explain to you.

Do you know how hard it is to carry the burden of being the only person in the world who has seen Daniel's 1920s flapper girl dance?

Fortunately when K-Shell went back to the United States of America she took a bunch of pictures from my camera with her (I'm not exactly sure how this was possible but I think it involved dark magic) and what she took apparently included some videos. She just informed me that she did what the kids are calling "upload" with these videos to what the kids are calling "the youtubes." So, now outdated and completely out of context, here are three mildly entertaining short videos for your Wednesday.

Daniel is Driving me CRAZY.

Have you ever lived with another person under the same roof? You have? Well this post is probably for you!

Daniel is driving me CRAZY.

And I think this is one of those things where I turned a blind eye to a lot of the quirks and insane ticks for so long because I knew they were un-fixable but now that the end is approaching I've just let myself experience two years of suppressed fury over them all at once.

I give you an example.

A few weeks ago Krishelle, Daniel, and I went to Carp Island. I told you all about it. Showed you pictures even. It was glorious. Unfortunately we all got some itchy bug-bites all over our legs. Krishelle and I did our best to ignore them, LIKE RESPONSIBLE GROWN-UPS.

Sea Turtles

On Saturday I went diving with some friends. I would probably be permanently done with diving by now if it wasn't for the sea turtles. This is because there are animals that live ALL OVER in the ocean. And I really think that I just gave you the exact definition of "Hell." Seriously. Go look it up.

SEE!?

(You totally didn't go and look it up. That's how I was able to get away with telling you that the definition of "Hell" is a place with animals ALL OVER. This is what I learned in law school.)

I got certified to scuba dive when I first came to Palau one year ago. And the first handful of times I went diving I basically just screamed in one continuous fifty minute exhale until we surfaced. Unfortunately the water muffled my calls for help so I was unable to escape the horrors that I saw down there until the instructor said it was time to go up.

And look. I know. I probably could have just shot back up without the instructor, flying into the air like a trained dolphin at SeaWorld, and landing directly onto the boat, but they gave us this whole scare tactic thing during the class about how our bodies would explode if we didn't stay with the instructor at all times. At first when they said this I was all like, "Really, scuba people? You're going to try to use impossible threats to force my compliance? I was raised by Bob and Cathie. I'm immune to your antics."

Pictures & Weekly Distractions

Five weeks from today I'll be finishing my job in Palau and boarding a plane that will leave the land of coconuts and take me to the land of absolutely-everything-else. The wind-down period has felt strange so far, like it's moving quickly and slowly at the same time. And I can't seem to shake the constant sense that I'm closing a big fat chapter. A chapter on tropical solitude, ferocious fruit bats, and ubiquitous mangy stray dogs.

Life is about to change in big ways very soon and right now it feels like I'm slowly ticking up the first hill on the roller coaster and the track is starting to curve. I hope you'll ride it with me and keep me from falling out. But, you probably shouldn't sit behind me. In case I throw up. Because I just ate a LARGE plate of nachos.

And now, your pictures and distractions:



K-Shell's name, forever a part of the Palauan landscape (or until the tide comes in).