Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Lost Journal Series: Part II

I now present for you part II of The Lost Journal Series. Again, these are exact passages from my childhood journal. Anything in [brackets] is my current commentary and explanation. Enjoy.

December 20, 1994 (age 10):

Yo. I'm Eli W. McCann. I'm in Jr. Jazz and my team is cooooooooooooool. Sometimes I get the ball [unfortunately for the rest of the team. Jr. Jazz was not my calling in life. Even after playing for 4 or so years]. I think if I keep shooting, I'm going to score points for the team [nope]. I bet I will be on the Jazz one day. I will never play for another team because the other teams are mean. But I heard that the Jazz are nice. I was sick today.

[Below this entry is a picture of a garbage can with two feet sticking out of the top. There is a caption bubble coming out of the garbage can that says, "Help. It's me. Jared." Clearly my relationship with my next door neighbor and close friend was waning at this time.]

January 5, 1995 (age 10):

Kebacboleda! [???]. Yesterday was Micalyne's birthday! [Nope. Her birthday is January 3rd].

February 10, 1995 (age 10):

Tim J. is my best friend. Jared is NOT my best friend. Jared probably thinks he is my best friend but he is not! Maybe some other time Jared can be my best friend again [I so wish I had taken the time to actually explain what was happening between us. I'm positive that it had something to do with my jealousy that he had recently turned 11 and I was still 10. Because when you are a kid, your age is about the only thing you have to be proud of]. I have brocatous [bronchitis]. I like to talk about things that are important [still true today]. Some kids don't like to talk about important stuff but they just talk about stuff that isn't important like pickles and stuff [because, you know, kids are always talking about pickles]. I talk about things like electistry [electricity. I talked about it, but apparently couldn't spell it. I would really like to know what I had to say on the subject] and like how many people there are in the world [both very important topics].

May 21, 1995 (age 11):

School is almost out and I am excited. My sister made up a dome club [dumb club] called the Safety Kids Club. So you can always remember your helmets. [To her credit, she was only 8 at the time and was already making up much more practical clubs than I was. Just off the top of my head, by this date I had formed the following clubs with my friends: a club that looked for alien artifacts, a pretend fight club with daily performances in front yards that always came with a special after-school-special-like message, multiple bike gangs, and one club that took place on the front porch of a very elderly woman down the street who took off her prosthetic leg for us if we sang her a number of songs (this was very similar to every episode of Barney and Friends you've ever seen except it got really freaky when the leg came off)]. I passed off my swimming merrit badge yesterday [this must be a sham because I still can't swim for the life of me]. 

[Below this entry I wrote my name 7 times.]

~It Just Gets Stranger 


  1. This is great. I have journals like this too - and the only times I ever wrote in them was Christmas, by birthday, and every single time my feelings were hurt. Needless to say, it's a pretty humiliating read.

  2. Much needed laugh today. I think it's funny you were so fixated on being 10 [part 1].
    Thanks for sharing--oh to be 10, turning 11, again!

  3. Please tell me there is a lot more. This is really good entertainment for me! I remember the safety club I think it probably only lasted oh about 2 hours.

  4. oh my goodness.... laughing uncontrollable at you drawing a picture of Jared in the garbage can and your next entry starting out "Kebacboleda!" For some reason although I didn't meet you until 5 years later... this still sounds very much like the Eli, Jared, and Micalyne I knew and loved so much!

  5. You should take a pic of your drawings and share them. And I totally remember the Safety Kids... I've been looking for it for my own kids now. But the annoying songs really do stick with you!