Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Lost Journal Series: Part V

Welcome back. Enjoy Part V tonight. Again, anything in [brackets] is tonight's commentary.

February 19, 1996 (age 11):

Today was President's day so we didn't have school so we could celebrate all of the presidents. Except my dad said that we don't celebrate the bad ones like Bil Klinton. [Bob has never been one to hide his feelings about politics]. I was going to play football today but it kept raining and I didn't want to get hurt because Jr. Jazz.

[Apparently I accidentally skipped the following two pages and later discovered this because I have drawn all over them. Specifically, there are several very crude drawings of ants with the words "The ants go marching onto the next page hirra, hirra." I also have written, "I didn't mean to!", "I'm sorry!", "forgive me", and right on the edge of the right page, "you're getting warmer!" And for those who were wondering, "dog" is written at the top of both of these pages as well].

February 20, 1996 (age 11):

Me and Sam made up a poem. [Note that Christmas is now two months in the past]:

Twas the day before tomorrow and all through the class
everyone was screaming and having a blast.
For Mrs. Southwick in her desk and I in my seat were eagerly waiting for lunch to eat.
When all of the sudden there arose such a clatter, the janiter fell from his little read [red] latter [ladder].
Then all of the sudden the bell started to ring and all of the children started to sing.
We ran to the lunchroom and ate very fast then we remembered the janiter might have needed a cast.
We ran outside and there he lay so we got in a car and drove away.
The princible ran outside and yelled hey.
He asked the janiter are you ok.
The njaniter looked up and replied nay.
We drove 5 miles and then we stoped for we ran out of gas and the tires had pooped [I'm pretty sure I meant "popped" here].
We filled up on gas and field all the tires and all that we used were little red pliers.
We hid in the bushes and ran to my house
We ran around in circles and we found a mouse.
He said you might as well fase it.
We looked up and said ya lets brace it. [???]
We drove back to the school and the princible said detention to all because the janiter's dead.

[No idea why we wrote that, or why I copied it into my journal. I have absolutely no memory of this.]

February 21, 1996 (age 11):

Today there was an assembly about pride in drugs. [Huh? Like, being proud about drugs?]. We all promised that we would never do drugs. We had to raise our hand and say that we will never do drugs like smoking. ["Smoking" apparently was the only "drug" I could think of at the time]. I don't think they are going to check on us later though, like when we are really old, like when we are 25 or something. [Is that really old?]. I think they just want us to promise and then they hope that we will remember. Because it would probably be too hard to make sure that we actually didn't do any drugs. But maybe if I see someone smoking later who I know promised not to, I could tell them that they broke the promise. [I'm still waiting for this opportunity. Eagerly].

April 18, 1996 (age 11):

Me and Sam wrote part of the spoof on Romeo and Juliet. Mrs. Southwick asked us to do it so the whole class can perform it. It is so funny. It will probably be a big hit! I think that if the actors do a good enough job that they will probably ask us to do it again another time and maybe it will become famous! [This, ironically, is exactly the plot of my very favorite movie that I didn't discover until 5 years ago, Waiting for Guffman]. If this turns out really good, maybe I will be an actor and a writer when I grow up instead of a lawyer! [Note: I am a lawyer]. We will probably finish writing it pretty soon. [Unfortunately I have a video copy of this thing, which our sixth grade class actually did perform. I was Romeo (note another Waiting for Guffman similarity). I remember thinking this was the most hysterical play of all time. A few years ago I found the video and watched it. Not only were the jokes horrifically unfunny, but they were also mostly wildly offensive. But this was 1996 when it was still ok to not be PC. In any event, watching the video again caused me to lose 35 points on the self-esteem chart (which only goes up to 150)].

April 28, 1996 (age 11):

Today was Sam's birthday. That just reminds me that my birthday is coming up which makes me really sad. I guess you could say I'm having a pretty hard day. It's hard to have a birthday and know that my parents will never let me have a dog. [This is a guilt entry (see yesterday's post) in hopes again that my parents would read my journal and feel badly enough to get a dog. I did not, however, actually feel at all the way I described in this entry]. Sometimes I just sit and wonder what will happen in my life. Maybe one day things will work out. One day.

May 19, 1996 (age 12):

Yesterday was my birthday and we got a DOG!!!! [Wait. Did the guilt thing work?]. Halaluya! Halaluya! I want to name it Twister! [We did not name her Twister]. My great grandpa Hinkle came over. He kept telling everyone how old he was. He's getting weird. [That would be the Alzheimer's. And it would only get weirder . . .].

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. Just so you know...the reason we finally got you a dog is bacause you wrote it on your Christmas list like this:
    A Dog
    A Dog
    A Dog
    A Dog
    A Dog etc etc etc...
    and also because Barbara Scoville told me that Maltese dogs did not shed. Oh, and I also felt bad for my little boy....and I did love Winnie...just not what she did.

  2. ...and I never read your journal. Love, Mom

  3. Excerpts from MY journal: [notes from my present self also in brackets]

    "June 2, 1996 [Top margin features a drawing of a tree and sun. Entire entry is written in multi-colored pencil]


    A.J. [I named my childhood journal after the journal in a Featured Film for Families]

    Hi! Today I went to church but I got there a little late. (I only missed the first two lines of the opening hymn.) Maybe I'll feel more like going to school [word “today” crossed out, arrow to margin for the word>] tomorrow but I don't feel like going to school today. It seems like I'll do bad or something. It's Randee's birthday. She might be physcic! [psychic] Weird, huh? IT WAS A WARM, SUNNY DAY I HOPE IT’S LIKE THAT TOMORROW!
    <3 ya!,[I say to my journal....]


    June 3, 1996,

    Today I went to school we practiced R&J a lot today. We practiced the spoof of Romeo and Juliet too. Everyone laughed at the way I did my parts and said I did a good job. Except Melanie. I don’t know what I ever did to her, but she hasn’t liked me forever! She’s one of my closest friends [contradict myself much?] and I don’t know what I’ll do without her, but I might have to deal with that. I’m going to pray and see what Heavenly Father says for me to do.

    P.S. It was warm and sunny today too! [The following written in strange, emphatically loopy handwriting] SUmmer is COmiNG!”

  4. First off, a little back story.Every Thanksgiving up until I was about the age of 12, we would have to spend 10 hours in the car driving to Little Rock to spend the holidays with my father's family. Now, you'd think that having six people, two dogs, and countless suitcases crammed into one, small Oldsmobile would be the worst part of the trip; you'd be wrong. This particular side of the family birthed the devil incarnate that took the name of Alex (I believe she goes by Lexie now, but I still call her Alex to irk her).

    Now back to the present. I too was recently going through some old journals where I read countless horror stories of what my cousin had done to me. Stealing the stickers I got from a Happy Meal, (Happy Meals were a big deal in my family because we never went out to eat and the prizes were cherished) taking credit for building a truck out of foam blocks that I made, and my 11-year-old self SWEARS she stole a pair of turtle earrings. All of these tragedies took place in just one of our "vacations". What was my revenge you ask? I wrote down the account proudly: "Today I finally desided to get back at her. I took Graham's socks that he is to lazy to wash (think of the smell of moldy cheese meets death) and stuck them in her pillowcase. Oh boy I hope she smells them!!!!" Underneath is a picture I drew with comical smell lines coming from her pillow and Alex crying with a thought bubble exclaiming, "What's happening?!?!?!"

  5. Wait, you people did Romeo and Juliet when you were eleven? Did you actually study it (and learn just how creepy Romeo is), or what?

  6. Come on, we need to see drawings and the spoof that was video taped...
    I wonder what my journals would have said??? My mom did read mine and therefore I burned them so she 'woulnd't use them against me'. =(

  7. Eli, I am sitting here reading every one of your journal entries and feeling like I found a wonderful gem here. I have some of my old journals that I have always loved to look back on from time to time and laugh at the crazy random whimsy of childhood. You should totally post the video of the Romeo and Juliet spoof when you get back to the states. I'm sure everyone would be thrilled to see it. :) You are the bomb.