Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Crack of Dawn

Yesterday morning I awoke to the sounds of a screamed obscenity.

It wasn't me, although it could have been and has been on many prior occasions.

Kurt and I are early risers. This is a new thing for me. In Palau Daniel usually peeled me from my bed about five seconds before it was time to leave for work (assuming he hadn't already woken me up by meowing and clawing at the window after his early morning run). Then I spent the hours of 8:00 to noon playing "I wonder if I could fall asleep on that" in my mind.

Moving back to the United States of God Bless America seems to have completely rebooted my sleep schedule because now I seriously cannot get up early enough in the morning. I LOVE it.

It was like my body was trying to find one more way to make me an 80 year old man. And it was all, "hmmm . . . let's see. He already yells at children. He already watches Matlock. I got it! Let's have him wake up at 5:00 AM for no reason at all!"


It started a couple of months ago when I realized that work was feeling a little overwhelming and intimidating and I figured that if I got into the office a few hours before anyone else showed up, this might take away some of the pressure and distraction and could allow me to focus a little better and get some work done. This was an effective plan. And even after getting the hang of things a bit, I found myself still doing the early morning thing.

For the record: "getting the hang of things a bit" does not mean that I have stopped screaming inside my head whenever anyone asks me to do anything. It just means that the screaming doesn't bother me as much anymore.

Most mornings I climb out of bed sometime between 5:00 and 5:30. And since I live literally a two-minute walk away from the office, this means I'm typically working well before 6:00 AM. On a couple of occasions I have gotten up even earlier, what some might call "the middle of the night," to get an extra early start on the day.

Mostly I like this because I feel like there's a community of early risers in this world that those of us who are or were not early risers never get to experience. And as I walk to work in the dark in the morning and pass all of the other mostly-not-very-cheerful people, I can't help but feel like I have friends.

Kurt, on the other hand, is an early riser by necessity. Being an ER nurse with the most inconvenient schedule ever, he has to be out the door long before most people. And it's a big deal if he doesn't show up on time.

If I don't show up to work early, people go on with their lives. And probably don't even notice that I'm not there. Except maybe they wonder why it doesn't smell as bad as usual.

If Kurt shows up late to the hospital, PEOPLE DIE. I like to imagine his job is a lot like that thing from Lost where those people had to keep typing in the numbers into that computer or else the world would explode.

Yesterday morning the world almost exploded. Because somehow Kurt slept through his alarm for about an hour and a half. And then he woke up and realized this.

And that's when I was awoken by an screamed obscenity.

Ten seconds later, he was sprinting through the front door, leaving a trail of personal belongings behind him.

All I know is that based on what I saw in that moment, Kurt might be one of those aliens from Signs that ran over the top of Mel Gibson's house. Remind me to check and make sure he still has all of his fingers later.

~It Just Gets Stranger

27 comments:

  1. Geez. Don't let Kurt near any water.

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  2. Waking up early is upsetting to me, unless there's an ice long hike involved--then I can handle it more graciously.

    I woke up at 6:20 this morning & cannot get back to sleep. The perfect time to wake up is 8:03, or sometime near that hour. Sometimes I wish I was an early riser, but since I'm incapable of falling asleep befits midnight, 5:00 or 6:00 am is just. too. early.

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    1. A nice long hike, not an ice long hike. Heavens! I still ought not be awake...

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  3. It must be an attorney-thing enjoying coming into work early. The main attorney in our office is usually here by 5:30 in the morning. (and by "here" I mean "not here" because I'M NOT LOOKING AT STRANGER WHILE I'M AT WORK - I WOULD NEVER EVER DO THAT - except that I do it every single morning - hee!) But then he's hungry by 11:00 a.m. and wants everyone to go to lunch with him.

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  4. "And that's when I was awoken by an screamed obscenity." - I think the word you're looking for is "awakened". Or possibly we're both wrong. Or both right. This http://www.dailywritingtips.com/awoken-or-awakened/ didn't help. :/

    I sleep less and less these days. Mostly my cat demands to be fed, so I go to bed as late as possible, feeding her right before I crawl under those covers, so she'll let me sleep 8 hours before I have to feed her again. Doesn't ever happen, but I usually "punish" her insolence by getting up and then making her wait that 8 hours before I'll feed her again. I really wish my little darling would learn to tell time - it's not that hard - all of our clocks are digital!

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  5. Eli, you need to live in the country so you can have a rooster. I wake up every morning to the sound of my roosters crowing and ducks quacking....then I get myself ready and dread going out to feed and let them all out of the coop. Life would be simpler without them, but it makes me feel like I live back in the old days when I get to wake up to their early morning caterwallering. I wish I had kids so I could force them to take care of them for me...then I could wake up and lay in bed a while. Anyone have any kids to give away?! haha

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    1. I think that the Queen of Colors would work well for this purpose.

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  6. What's the time difference for Palau?

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    1. It is currently January 17, 2087 in Palau.

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    2. That makes sense. It's why you wake up at the crack of dawn. Your body is prepared for the future.

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    3. And funny me I had it backwards I thought it was January 17, 1587...silly me.

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    4. I'll have you know that he does not indeed wake up at the crack of Dawn!
      Sincerely, Dawn

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  7. I am one of those that believe 5:00 is the middle of the night. If a kid comes and wakes me up then I just say "go back to bed, it's the middle of the night." Morning starts around 7:00. I don't think the kids believe that it's the middle of the night when it's light out before 7. But some parts of the year it works.

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  8. Is Matlock still on or do you have the season on VHS/Betamax?

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    1. Matlock is on WGN out of Chicago in the mornings. At least it's on before the noon news, which I assume is on at noon there. I'm in Vegas, but it's on every morning on that channel. I still don't know why we get that channel here, but we do.

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  9. "For the record: 'getting the hang of things a bit' does not mean that I have stopped screaming inside my head whenever anyone asks me to do anything. It just means that the screaming doesn't bother me as much anymore."

    You just described how I've adapted to motherhood.

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  10. Heh. I get up at four every morning. All the cool people do.

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  11. As a teenager, I was a chronic late sleeper. Who isn't at that age? But whenever I had a friend ask me to sub for their paper route, I loved being out in the early morning (okay, not every time, but I have some fond memories of it).
    Recently a "friend" has gotten me started running (a first in my life) and we've been going at about 5:30 am a few times a week. I am loving it. I love the early morning briskness, love getting back from my run with at least an hour before any of the kids wake up, love having a morning that is not just a frantic frenzy to get in to the office. I still have trouble getting up some mornings, but I'm getting to the point that I would almost describe myself as an early bird.
    Now if only I could get myself in bed before 11.

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  12. This makes me feel better about my early morning seminary experience.

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  13. It's so weird to me that you're an attorney. Every time you talk about work I feel like I'm reading about a completely different person from the idea I have of you in my head. Eli, who likes to strip down anytime he's within eyesight of a spa. Eli, who goes to work and does serious attorney law stuff and wears a suit. How can these be the same person?

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  14. Waking up early to go into work earlier than you need to is mind blowing to me. Your coworkers probably think you're homeless.

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  15. Aw, I miss living in the future ( I recently moved back to the Western Hemisphere from Japan but was lucky enough to move one of the few places in the world that thinks its cool to be off the normal time zone by half an hour.) I also have to be at school by 7:00 every morning for staff meeting before school starts so I'm up every day at 5:30. Lately I've managed to squeeze in a little light reading every morning before I get out of bed. I used to think 5:30 was the middle of the night but now that I do it every day it feels less like it. I'm glad to know I can now count this as training for old age. I needed more inspiration in that area of personal growth.

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  16. Oooh, it would be super cool if Kurt's skin could blend in with his surroundings. That would be so handy.

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