Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Sundance


Right now the Sundance Film Festival is happening in Park City, about a thirty minute drive from Salt Lake City. The Festival happens every year and every year people scramble for tickets to screenings of independent films if for no other reason because EVERY famous person that has ever lived is out walking the streets of this small town for a couple of weeks and the chances of seeing them are high.


I always want to go to the Sundance Film Festival because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!?!?

That's actually pretty much the answer to every question about why I do what I do.

Eli, why do you write this blog? Because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!?!?

Eli, why do you shower every week? Because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!?!?

Eli, why haven't you gone through puberty yet? Because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!?!?

See? It explains EVERYTHING.

As luck would have it, my good friend Bruno (pictured with me above next to his friend Joy) lives and works in Park City and was able to get his hands on many tickets to various films as well as passes to get into several parties and lounges. Bruno graciously invited me to come up during the festival as much as I wanted. This weekend I drove up there three different times. Because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!?!?

I called my best friend, Corey, to let her know what I would be doing. Corey lives in southern California and the answer to every question about why she does what she does is similar to mine except replace "Paul Simon" with "Britney Spears." (No judging . . . but, Corey, we're all kind of judging).

Corey's guilty pleasure is keeping WAY up on all things celebrity gossip. She single-handedly keeps TMZ in business. When I told her I had great access to the Sundance Film Festival this year, she screamed into the phone, "THIS IS GOING TO BE WASTED ON YOU! WASTED!"

She's mostly right. I don't know celebrities. And I don't really appreciate them if ever I do see them. But off I went to Sundance with a VERY strongly-worded charge from Corey to text pictures of every famous person I saw "in real time" throughout the weekend. OR ELSE.

I saw people here and there (mostly Bruno had to point them out because I never would have recognized them on my own). And I texted Corey to tell her about it. But I explained that I couldn't take a picture because it would have been way too awkward.

She thought she would be helpful by offering the following:



Corey, you are my most absurd friend. And that's coming from a guy who just lived with someone for an entire year who used to meow through the windows every morning to wake me up.

~It Just Gets Stranger

29 comments:

  1. You sure have got the 3rd wheel thing down. Why don't you ever bring dates ANYWHERE??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because he hasn't met Paul Simon yet!

      Delete
    2. No, the answer is, "Because WHAT IF PAUL SIMON?!?!?"

      Delete
    3. Why is everyone assuming that I'M the third wheel in this picture?

      Delete
    4. Is it possible that they are all unicycles? Just wheeling around town independently together. Or a tricycle.

      Besides, Eli isn't allowed to date until he hits puberty. Bob and Cathy have a few rules. Once up the barrel and all that.

      Delete
    5. Because you said Jude Law I mean Bruno's friend Joy. If you were on a date with her you would have referred to her as your friend. All assumptions, of course.

      Delete
  2. The celebrity obsession is a Southern Californian disease. I don't personally suffer from it, but I see it all around me. That is to say, poor Corey comes by it naturally...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm totally jealous that you got to go to Sundance. I have been a couple of times and loved it. It's right up my alley. But then, I AM a Southern Cali girl... (And for me, replace Britney Spears with Tom Cruise.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I drool over Robert Redford's face in the Sundance Catalog; I would be in absolute heaven to go to the film festive and stalk him (I did the Park City Marathon a few years ago and asked shop owner if they had seen him that day. That was a huge NO, and frankly, none ever had. WHAT???). Everyone else there would be just a brownie, to me. But brownies are cool. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has a home in Provo, he isn't always in Park City.

      Delete
  5. I love Paul Simon! When you see him tell him hi for me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like that you are standing at and "EXTREMELY" friendly oral care booth for the picture. Extremely friendly makes me think of my cat when I'm holding a can of food...I imagine Paul Simon will find you similarly "extremely friendly" when you meet.

    ReplyDelete
  7. See, I am an old lady because I am less interested in the celebrities you saw than in the free goodies that were around. I would have brought a giant purse and swept every freebie into it. I am classy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would have been right there with you! Cheap ladies for the win!!!

      Delete
  8. I cannot WAIT for the day that you post a picture of yourself with Paul Simon on here. It IS going to happen, I can just feel it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That will be a cool picture but you have to understand that only Paul Simon will be clear in the picture. Where Eli is in the picture will be just a big blur because he will be jumping around and shaking with joy so much he won't be able to be captured clearly. Just Paul and a big Eli shaped blur. Will still be a cool picture though.

      Delete
  9. for me it is What if Eli McCann? :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't think I'd like to meet most celebrities. Except maybe for John Lithgow. (In all honesty, I'd die with delight on the spot if I ever met John Lithgow, because 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN. And also his children's books that come with CDs, because his books are songs.)

    I don't understand the fixation on famous people, and the idea of "celebrity" annoys me to no end. Yeah, they're good actors and extremely good-looking, but they're human, ya know? We've all got talents--it's just that most of us don't get paid a ri-damn-diculous amount of money for our talents.

    I'm happy you were able to go, though!

    ReplyDelete
  11. FYI, Joy is hot. Just putting it out there. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So is Bruno, for that matter.

      Delete
    2. so is that other guy. I think I know him from somewhere...

      Delete
  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  13. What movies did you get tickets to? Were they any good? Cooties sounded interesting in a "Children of the Corn" kind of style.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He had tickets to a lot of them so I just went up when I could and we went to whatever was playing at the time. We saw The Green Prince (documentary), I Origins, and A Case Against Prop 8 (documentary). All were pretty good, but The Green Prince was fantastic. I would recommend it to anyone.

      Delete
  14. You've probably seen this already, but I thought of you at Sundance when I saw this Sundance film trailer parody: http://laughingsquid.com/a-painfully-accurate-parody-of-an-indie-movie-trailer/

    ReplyDelete
  15. You all look like celebrity friends who are all like, 'whatever. We are totes too cool for these people.'

    ReplyDelete