Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Life Changing Library

Skylar: That reminds me.

Eli: Of what?

Skylar: Of that time in the library when that guy tried to change my life.

Eli: Ok. You've piqued my interest. Go on.

Skylar: I was in college. It was a winter day. I was standing in line when a mysterious man turned to me and tried to change my life.

Eli: How did he try to change your life?

Skylar: By saying something.

Eli: By saying what?

Skylar: Something ominous. 

Eli: This story is killing me. 

Skylar: He did it with one sentence. 

Eli: Say the thing!

Skylar: I was a student at Boston College.

Eli: I feel like this story is going backwards.

Skylar: Our mascot was the Eagles.

Eli: That better be relevant to the point of this story or I will murder you.

Skylar: And that's when he said it.

Eli: With sharp weapons. I will murder you with sharp weapons.

Skylar: He said it with a deep and booming voice.

Eli: With my new knife set. 

Skylar: And he was completely serious when he said it, too.

Eli: I'm losing the will to live.

Skylar: He had the kind of voice that can pierce souls. 

Eli: I don't even care anymore.

Skylar: He said, "you've got to study like an owl--"

Eli: Stop.

Skylar: "if you want to soar like an Eagle."

Eli: I hate this.

Skylar: And when I turned around--

Eli: No.

Skylar: I saw--

Eli: I don't care what you saw.

Skylar: that it was Morgan Freeman.

Eli: . . . 

Skylar: . . . 

Eli: . . . 

Skylar: . . . 

Eli: And this changed your life?

Skylar: The experience had no effect on me.

Skylar in college, learning how to study like an owl.

~It Just Gets Stranger

19 comments:

  1. What on earth reminded him of this?

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  2. He tells stories like you sometimes do on Stranger. I DON'T LIKE THE SUSPENSE JUST TELL US HOW YOU ENDED UP NAKED OK?!

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  3. I saw Skylar on a flight this past weekend and introduced myself. Tell him sorry for startling him. I'm not creepy, I promise.

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    1. I heard about this. He called to tell me he was famous and when I tried to respond he cut me off by yelling "I DON'T TALK TO THE HELP." So thanks for that.

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  4. What!?! Morgan Freeman personally talked to Skylar in college, and it had NO effect on him? I don't believe him. If he has remembered the experience thus far, that little statement has been lodged somewhere inside his consciousness where it randomly gets replayed.

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    1. I should note that Skylar calls every person he doesn't know "Morgan Freeman" or "Diane Sawyer."

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    2. LOL. The comments section is my favorite thing on Stranger.

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    3. Anonymous has clearly never basked in the glory of Eli's hair and laid eyes on a single picture of Mr. Doodle!

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  5. I love the image of a stranger offering this unsolicited advice.

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  6. I still can't decide whether that's a real photo of Skylar.

    And I'm sure she isn't, but the cup placement makes it appear like that super cute little girl drinking Samuel Adams.

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    1. I thought the same thing about the little girl drinking a beer!!!!

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Not that we know what Samuel Adams is, Kathy!!!

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  8. I'm still stuck on "You've got to study like an owl" bit. What does that even mean? I just keep picturing people eating their homework and then throwing it up again as pellets like an owl.

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  9. Was it actually Morgan Freeman or was it like that time in Juno when Ellen Page's friend said, "Juno?" and she said, "No, it's Morgan Freeman."

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  10. Is that little girl Morgan Freeman? If so my facial blindness is way worse than I have previously thought. And are they in a library or a bar, I'm so confused.

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  11. Seriously .. one liners always

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