I'm going to spend the next however many minutes complaining about something that doesn't matter.
I need to complain about this. This thing that doesn't matter. It is an incredibly stupid thing to feel anger over. I already know this. I don't need you to tell me that there are actual problems in this world and that the thing that I'm choosing to spend however many minutes complaining about is not even remotely close to being one of those problems.
I know that.
I know that this thing doesn't matter and that it probably says some sad things about me that I'm about to spend however many minutes talking about it.
People who have much more satisfying lives probably never even think about stuff like this. They are probably way too busy living in a state of perpetual productivity to ever even be able to give the energy to something this incredibly dumb.
By the way, you've been warned. You don't get to be mad at me that you spent however many minutes reading this post only to find out that it's actually a post about something that's not even a thing worth complaining about. Because I already told you that this post is a waste of your time. So if you read this, that's on you.
There is a place near my house called Cafe Zupas. Maybe you've heard of it. They sell soups, salads, and sandwiches.
These soups, salads, and sandwiches are fine.
They're not exceptional.
They're not bad.
But they're fine.
I frequent Cafe Zupas because it's near my house and I'm finding more and more lately that I'm a sad and lonely person who doesn't have the time or energy to come home from work and cook for one anymore and at least Cafe Zupas isn't deep-fried fast food so I'm actually being very responsible.
So I go to Cafe Zupas.
I go there, even though they do a thing that is so not a problem that I shouldn't even waste your time complaining about it but I hate this thing.
For those who have never been to Cafe Zupas, they have this sort of assembly line process that probably works at, say, a Mexican place where a line of workers put together your burrito as you walk down the line and explain what you want.
But for probably many reasons, this assembly line process does not work at all at Cafe Zupas.
This is because there are soup, salad, and sandwich options. And you order each of those things at different points in the line. And each of those things can take a very different amount of time to prepare. And so, what ends up happening, is a person will order a sandwich that takes about five minutes to put together. Meanwhile, the next person asks for a soup to go, which literally takes four seconds to ladle into a paper cup. But the sandwich person also wants soup, so he's ordering that to go with his sandwich. And the soup person wants a salad, which he orders to go with the soup. And meanwhile there's a very cranky woman in front of both of them who just remembered that she needs to order five more sandwiches, except she pronounces it "sammiches" so the employees are all screaming instructions at each other because the soups are far down the line from the sandwiches and every time you take a step forward a new employee makes you repeat everything in your order to them so they can scream up and down the line and confirm that others are taking care of each part of that order and then suddenly you're at the dessert part and the employees are trying to con you into buying every single one of the desserts except for the ones on the bottom shelf because "those are for tomorrow" which I have heard them say to people and this makes no sense AND I AM ALREADY FEELING SO ANGRY WRITING THIS OUT AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOT TO THE THING I WANTED TO COMPLAIN TO YOU ABOUT.
Because the whole process is as I described above, everyone ends up in a big pile of bodies at the end of the line as all of the employees run frantically back and forth to try to piece together the orders. And then they have to call out these orders and all of the customers have to reorganize into a new line so they can pay in order based on whose thing was pieced together first.
And the thing that I'm about to complain about probably wouldn't matter to me at all if I hadn't already gone through all of the confusion described above, but by the time this thing happens, at the end of this whole process, a sneeze could send me over the edge.
Finally, once you get all of your stuff together for the cashier to ring everything up, he or she does this thing that makes me want to write a letter to my senator.
And I know this isn't the cashier's fault. I know that whoever owns and operates Cafe Zupas forces the cashier to do this thing that the cashier probably hates as much as I do.
I'm not directing my anger at that cashier. I hereby direct my formal complaint to whichever person decided that this is a thing that should happen.
The Cashier then takes a large soda cup, places it on the tray or in the to go bag with my food, and casually says, in such a nondescript voice that I almost don't even notice it, "would you like a drink to go with that?"
Did you catch that?
The cashier doesn't ask me if I want a drink and then respond accordingly.
The cashier delivers the thing first, and then asks if I want it.
And I don't know why, but this drives me INSANE.
Maybe it's because I feel like Cafe Zupas is trying to manipulate me into buying something that I almost never want.
Maybe it's because I'm sure that this sometimes works. That there are probably a bunch of people who would have said no but once they see the drink already sitting there they almost subconsciously just accept it and pay for it.
All I know is that this annoys me so much that I absolutely turn this down every single time just out of principle.
And then the cashier has to take the cup back out of the bag and put it back with all of the other cups. And the cashier always seems a little annoyed with this extra step that he or she would not have to do if he or she would have just left the damn thing alone in the first place.
And then I walk out, annoyed over something that doesn't matter, something that I know won't even change my behavior because I always go back.
And that's the thing I wanted to complain about.
Now it's your turn. Please complain about something that doesn't matter. I promise you that it feels great.
~It Just Gets Stranger
that's super annoying and horribly obnoxious. is this a new thing? i've been to a few different zupas locations and this has never happened to me, but i haven't been there for a few months. i would be angry too.
ReplyDeletechoose love. and quit eating out, you're gaining weight.
ReplyDeleteOuch, harsh much?
DeleteRight now I’m picturing the same anonymous person having a conversation with themself.
DeleteAlso, Eli tells us he’s gaining weight, so...not that harsh.
I wish you would follow me around and rant about things all day. It would be so entertaining.
ReplyDeleteI tried a new foundation yesterday. It was a *sample*, so it literally took nothing out of my life beyond the time it took to apply it to my face. HOWEVER, it is an expensive product and yet also one of the worst foundations I've ever used. It somehow managed to make my face both oily AND dry and flaky, which are opposites in the makeup world. By the end of the day, my face felt tight and uncomfortable, but also was shining like a lighthouse trying it's darndest to warn ships away from the cliffs. Again. This is not a big deal. I have makeup remover. But, despite the fact that I am a rational human being who understands that there is ethnic cleansing happening in Syria, this minor problem got the "INJUSTICE!" brain space. I'm not proud of this, but there it is.
ReplyDeleteI hate Question Time at the Servo (Australian for gas station). "Do you have a discount voucher? Would you like to purchase a chocolate bar? Are you paying by card? Would you like a receipt?" And to add to the list, today's effort "It's quite hot out today, isnt it? Would you like to buy a bottle of water?"
ReplyDeleteArggggghhhhhhh!!! Every question just makes me more determined that I will never buy anything there except for fuel.
Rant over. Thank you.
Question #2 is a no brainer...always YES.
DeleteMy husband says "sanwedges." Yes. Also, makes me insane. I've asked him to spell it. He knows he's wrong. Still he does this. And now some of our kids are latching on to the idea!!!!
ReplyDeleteSanwedges or Sammiches are still better than SAMMIES. Drives me frickin nuts.
Delete"Sammiches" made me laugh out loud.
DeleteI don't know why, Kara, but the word sanwedges just sent me into a fit of giggles... I can just imagine... LOL! ...and now he's raising his own following of "sanwedges"!
DeleteSanwedge: What happens when you sit directly on the beach without a towel.
DeleteWhen I first met my daughter, she was four and moving to our home from a very unstable foster care placement. I am sure she was nervous and scared and maybe even a little hopeful about getting into a van with strangers and driving to a new house, but the one thing she desperately needed to know as we pulled away, the thing that she yelled from the backseat, was, "Ya'll got sammiches?"
DeleteAnonymous mom of former foster care child, that is amazing. Will you please shoot me an email if you see this?
DeleteMormon problems. I HATE. Loathe entirely. Like, I want to walk out before they even get started: "I'm so-and-so, and today I've been asked to speak on ___________." OMG. Start the damn talk without that sentence, and I promise you we'll catch on to your topic pretty quickly. Unless it's a terrible talk, in which case we'll just make fun of you behind your back for an appropriate amount of time, depending on the severity of the awfulness of it.
ReplyDeleteAlso. ALSO. "When the bishopric asked me to speak on..." With the accusatory side glance. They're just doing their calling. Count your lucky stars YOU'RE not in the bishopric.
That does feel good!
I'm not a good enough Mormon to be asked to speak in church, they're afraid I'll blaspheme from the pulpit and we'll all get struck by lightning. Being a degenerate sinner has its perks.
DeleteAnd I hate when they share the history of when and how they actually got asked to give the talk, and what they've been doing in between now and then to prepare this talk!
DeleteYou know what's worse that all of that? When Testimony Meetings turn into Talk-i-mony meetings, AKA Mormon Open Mic. Long rambling travelogues or Oscar acceptance style "Thank You" speeches that have nothing to do with a testimony of faith. Or my personal favorite (since I'm in a mid-singles ward) when people get up and blast their ex spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends, and/or advertise about how great they are while simultaneously complaining about how hard life is and how no one appreciates them. The bishopric can't find people to voluntarily give talks on any other Sunday, but during fast and testimony meeting there is a queue 20 people deep and maybe 2 of them actually bear their testimony. Every time someone actually does that I feel like standing up and slowing clapping.
DeleteI hate it when the speakers say "My name is _______ for those of you that don't know me." This is after they have already been introduced at the beginning of the meeting AND their names are printed in the program. Happens every week, multiple times! Makes me cringe and roll my eyes every time!
DeleteI'm talking this Sunday. Awesome advice. I'm just going to dive in! No side eye to the bishop. No I'm so and so. No this has been my week. Got it.
DeleteMy very least favorite thing that has ever happened in Mormon church meetings ever is when some white person who served a mission in Hawaii starts their talk with "alooooooooha" and then waits for everyone to say it back.
DeletePlease do that on Sunday, Jen. Do it for me.
Jen can you also please bear your testimony in another language that exactly zero people in the congregation understand. Oh and about 2 minute into your talk can you pause dramatically, look down, wave your hand in the air, then raise your voice about 100 octaves and say "I promised myself I would do this!" and then fake cry to prove how touched by the spirit you are. Oh and make a joke about them having to raise or lower the pulpit for you, that's always a crowd pleaser. I'm so going to hell for these rants.
DeleteAnd how people joke about how they don't want to give the talk. We get it, no one likes being asked to give a talk. The joke is so old, it isn't funny anymore. Then there are the "awkward-monies" testimonies that are just so out there that you can feel the whole congregation cringe.
Delete"I'm really nervous, so bear with me." GAH! I get it, EVERYONE hates public speaking, we can see your flop sweat from the back row and we sympathize but just get on with it.
DeleteAnd I'm just going to second your awkward-monies. Uh seriously come to my 31-45 singles ward, it is like the human version the DI, or the island of misfit toys. Before you think I'm being too judgmental, know that I fully include myself in that description as well. I will own the fact that I am damagee, have emotional issues, and am not always the most socially adept person in the room.
Last F&T meeting there was a sweet woman (never been married) who stood and told a rambling story about riding a bike in cold weather and how if you're prepared you won't be "penetrated" by the weather and then repeated that protection/penetration analogy several times. I was doubled over and had my face buried in my hands trying not to laugh out loud, like the dirty old divorced broad that I am. I was seriously dying.
Eli: Alooooooooooha! C'mon now. Don't leave me hangin'!
DeleteI once heard a lady give a “spontaneous” talk on fast Sunday, complete with bullets point. It was the most uncomfortable 20 minutes I have sat through in a testimony meeting in a long time. She had a lot of good things to say, but it wasn’t in testimony style at all. Kind of like she knew would never get asked to talk, so she took matters into her own hands.
DeleteI love this ENTIRE thread. I hate all of these things but I would also be so sad if they stopped because then would it even be a Mormon Sacrament Meeting anymore??? Also. The Suzzz. That bicycle testimony would have cracked me up too!!!
DeleteJen, Alooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo[BREATH]ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooha.
DeleteRachel it was soooo bad and soooo funny because she was totally oblivious to how it sounded. At one point she said "We need to invite God to penetrate us" and then followed it up with "If we have proper protection then the world and the devil can't penetrate us" and my first thought was "Um, sweetheart, even if you're wearing 'protection' you can still get penetrated." She was seriously so innocent about sex and how it all sounded to those of us who weren't so naive. I did feel bad but I wasn't the only one trying not to crack up. I looked around and there were several people biting their lips or gritting their teeth and side-eyeing people around them. It was like trying not to laugh at a funeral, the harder you tried to maintain composure the funnier it got.
DeleteOh and AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooHA!
My personal most hated sacrament meeting talk opener: the story of how the speaker almost didn't answer the phone (gasp!)....or turned and walked the other way down the hall (you didn't!)....or considered not replying to the text from the bishopric member (you dirty dog). Got it, you hate speaking. We all do, but your lame joke about the rude thing you almost did but then didn't actually do is not funny and is wasting my time. Woo, thanks for letting me put that into words.
DeleteAlso, my sister (white mainlander) lives in Hawaii and tried to skip the aloha last time she spoke, and the congregation interrupted her and said it "back" to her anyway, which she said was more awkward than just saying it in the first place. I still think it's dumb and second-hand embarrassing when non-Hawaiians do it here.Just showing the opposite side of the story :)
No, I get it. When in Rome. Living in Palau I would have been crucified for not starting and public speaking engagement with "Alii" (Palau's "Aloha"). But I would never do that in the states.
DeleteThe Suzzzzzzz, your story reminds me of this one time I introduced myself in Ukraine during a church meeting and I was trying to say "I'm very new" but instead and kept saying "I'm very very horny" and everyone was laughing and laughing and I had no idea why.
DeleteBwahahaha Eli at least they were entertained. I've heard very similar stories from missionaries who went to Finland. Finnish is a tonal language so if you don't get the inflection right your talk can go horribly wrong. Apparently the joke among Finns (even the non-Mormon citizens) is "Only two types of people in the world learn Finnish. Finns and Mormons". Hey you should do a mini Strangerville around the theme "lost in translation" and just have people phone in and tell quick little stories about embarrassing foreign language gaffes.
DeleteIf you do this for Strangerville, my mom has an epic story in Brazil about going to a toy store and imploring the employee to help her find a soft, cuddly gay man as a gift for her daughters eighth birthday. Obviously, that wasn’t what she meant to ask for. I would love to hear other people’s stories! Like the time in an elevator in Jakarta, my sister very solemnly and respectfully said “Dragon” to a dignified older lady. When we asked our brother’s fiancé what she had done wrong, she couldn’t stop laughing, then said “i am just trying to imagine what I would have done if some white girl suddenly said “dragon” to me in an elevator.” In my sisters defense, we had only been On the island a few hours, and we were very tired, and she was trying to say “good morning”.
DeleteI think I might have been engaged to a Chinese man (for about 6 months) after one of those lost in translation moments.... It's hard when you're just learning a language!
DeleteThis is it. I'm opening my talk with I'm very, very horny in a different language, whilst fist pumping and crying with the spirit. I'm going to nail this!
DeleteJen please tell me the address of your meetinghouse and the time you will be speaking, I will provide refreshments afterwards.
DeleteOne of my old coworkers was from Honduras and English was his second language. He spoke it pretty well but sometimes made some funny slips. Another coworker brought better-than-sex cake to a party and he got so excited about it. He asked, "Is this better than sex?!" And that was it. We all got a good laugh out of that one.
DeleteMy husband served his mission in Samoa and on his first week there blessed a lady with a sexy body instead of healthy body. The husband clapped and agreed with him.
DeleteMy least favorite opening of a church talk goes something like this;
Delete'I'm not really prepared/I'm sure that I can't really add anything to the meeting after the previous talks which were so good'
Okay, well, based on YOUR advice, I'll stop listening now.
Damn...now I wish I actually attended church meetings...or church for that matter. I had no idea they were so entertaining.
DeleteI have a friend who served a mission in Honduras. Her first Sunday there the bishop surprised her and asked her to speak. This was embarrassing for her because she didn’t speak Spanish very well yet. When she tried to explain that the bishop embarrassed her she said,”estoy embarazada por el obispo” which translate to “the bishop empregnated me”. Yep she was popular in that area
DeleteI hate making appointments with our local doctor's office. In a recent phone call, I asked for an appointment and was about to ask about a certain range in time/days (not an emergency appointment or anything), but the lady cut me off and said very commandingly "your appointment is on xxx day at xxx time a.m." And that day just really super wouldn't work for me then. I said "oh...I just wondered, is there anything available on Tuesday or Wednesday in the afternoon?" She paused briefly and then said both commandingly and annoyedly "your appointment is on Wednesday at 10:15 am." So I tried to very politely ask if there are any afternoon appointments on any day (except that first day she asked about). The lady is very annoyed now and says, sounding mad, "well what works for YOU?" So extra politely (and kind of afraid) I told her, again, Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon would be best, and she finally said "your appointment is Wednesday at 3:00pm." Whew. Finally got something that is okay...actually what I was trying to ask about in the first place. But why, why does it have to be so hard to talk to this particular lady about appointments? Why does she not want to listen to what works for me? Is it so bad to ask for an afternoon doctors appointment in a doctors office that has doctors there all afternoon every afternoon as well as morning??
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me complain, Eli. It does feel good.
At least you can get in on fairly short notice. I used to go to a "women's center" for my gp/obgyn care. But it should actually be called "Pregnancy and baby center - if you don't have one of these things you will die waiting for an appointment", because unless you are pregnant, trying to get pregnant or recently delivered you have to wait MONTHS for an appointment. I'm not exaggerating. Last year in late January I found a lump in my breast and I called to make an appointment to check it out, they told me the soonest they could fit me in was April, and when I explained again that I would really like it checked out sooner the receptionist said "Well why didn't you call sooner?" Seriously?!? That was when I called around and found someone who could see me within 48 hours so I didn't have to sit and spin out about what that lump could be. FYI it turned out to be benign, but when you don't know the waiting is agonizing.
DeleteThis sounds like a nightmare. Mine: my kids are in fourth, second, and kindergarten at an elementary school of just over 750 kids. Our district does not bus. So that’s a lot of parents dropping off/picking up their kids twice a day. The process is supposed to be cars sit in a pickup line, and kids get in/out of their vehicle, and drive on next car pulls up etc. it would be bad even if people did it right, but THEY DONT. and it’s not confusing. And the school sends home maps with written instructions about how to follow the plan, they have made YouTube videos. And parents go the wrong way in one ways. And they park in areas that are not in any way parking areas. Kids have been hit. I got so irritated every morning by this i can’t even. AND I DONT GET IRRITATED. oh and to make matters worse, the school when my oldest started kindergarten was surrounded by fields on three sides. Just wheat corn and cows. Literally. And in the ensuing years they have built three new neighborhoods. So yeah this problem, about to get worse. I may get arrested for committing a non violent crime sometime and it will be because of this pent up rage. Thank you. Phew. I do feel better.
ReplyDeleteAmes, that is seriously a true problem. It is so dangerous for the children to have their caregivers not take literally five minutes to review the traffic procedures.
DeleteOk you are right it is an actual real problem. Children have been hit by cars. Twice since we started going.
DeleteI should explain better. No serious injuries, but still. You would think it would be enough for parents to learn the system. And it’s really probably only 10% of the parents making it a mess, but it’s enough. It’s not that hard!
DeleteI'm sorry - the only thing I can think of to complain about right now does matter. At least to my family it does . . . can I complain about that? Because I think the venting (and perhaps some validation) would really help me.
ReplyDeleteMy son started Middle School this year. For context - my son has been diagnosed with ADHD and high anxiety. From September to mid-December he was bullied by this little s#%t of a kid. He was called names, made fun of, and physically assaulted by this boy. We made multiple complaints, the school responded appropriately as did the child's mother. In mid-December the bully stopped attending the school.
This week the bully returned. He had already been in two of my son's classes and has now been placed in a third. I sent a very well-worded email to the three teachers and the principal sharing my son's anxieties about the bully's return and asking they been extra aware and vigilant about any interactions the two boys have and do what they can to keep the boys apart in the classes.
This morning I received an email from my son's counselor suggesting a schedule change for my son to alleviate his anxiety regarding the bully. This schedule change would keep him in one of the three classes with the bully and would completely change his schedule for his core classes (Math, ELA, Social Studies, and Science). His teachers would remain the same but the hours he has the classes and the students he is in class with would change.
I'm LIVID about this. Routine is EVERYTHING for a child with ADHD and their solution to the fact that they have put my son's bully in another of his classes is to completely change his world? Because doing so would somehow alleviate his anxiety? OH HELL NO! I have already responded and told them in no uncertain terms should my son's schedule be changed and if anything it's the bully's schedule that should be changed.
But I'm still LIVID and unlikely to accomplish much today as I stew in this anger.
Edit: That my son's schedule should NOT be changed . . . .
DeleteNicole, my son (who's now 24) is severely ADHD, so I feel your pain. And I just want to say YOU GO, MOMMA BEAR! Good on you for defending and protecting your son against ridiculous and lazy school counselors and administrative policies. Sadly, this is but one of many fights you're likely to have with the schools, but your son, like mine, will always know that mom's got his back.
DeleteI like to think of myself as a pretty easy going person, but since I accepted your challenge to complain about something that doesn't matter, it only took me 30 seconds to think of something.
ReplyDeleteAbout half of the people I talk to the phone at work respond that they can't hear me. Yes I work for a city that is the retirement community for the area. Yes I know that I have a quieter voice. Yes I don't really like talking on the phone with strangers very much. I recite these fact to myself each time someone asks me to speak up, but there is only so much I can do people. If you need a hearing aid, please use a hearing aid. I try to be sympathetic especially since visiting my grandpa, but these people are not my grandparents and sometimes they sound too young to be grandparents. It's been happening less frequently so maybe I'm getting louder or less older people are calling me, so you think I'd be happy about getting less of these responses. But I never saw my quiet nature as a defect until these comments started, and now I feel like I am the only one who has to change during the course of these phone calls and their not expected to change.
Phew. That felt good, and your right, I feel extremely silly posting this complaint to the universe. But if Dory can admit that she's never eaten a fish, then I can complain about silly things too.
Do you have people asking you to speak up on other phones or in person? Maybe it is your work phone and not you that is the problem. My mom had a phone like that: difficult to hear her on no matter how much I turned up my own volume.
DeleteYou've inspired me to explore my phone features more, and I found a mic volume option. Hopefully that will make a difference. Previously I would turn up the volume but it would just make the speaker louder. now I get to complain about something else that doesn't really matter, except I am way to pleased with this discovery to be peeved right now. It's a Strangerville miracle! *cue annoying infomercial call page image*
DeleteI have to pay for a parking spot at my apartment complex, which is becoming pretty standard these days. Okay, no problem.
ReplyDeleteHowever there are no parking spots on my floor, the only ones available are on the top floor of my garage (which they've decided to charge me the same amount for!) while claiming they are putting me on a waiting list. This means that I have to circle around the parking garage and extra 2 times to get to the floor with my spot on it, then take the elevator DOWN 2 floors to my apartment.
I know this is only an extra 5 min. I know that it shouldn't matter. But it drives me crazy! On the plus side, it aggravates me so much that I often decide getting my car our and back into the garage isn't worth it and just walk or trax it somewhere. I apparently find a one-way 30 min walk less aggravating than the stupid parking situation... Maybe the apartment complex was just subtlety calling me fat...
Slow clap for the Dory reference!
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you what makes me beyond angry. My daughter plays high school basketball. When the boys Varsity team plays at home, 400 scantily clad cheerleaders cheer, the band plays in the stands, the drill team does a fancy half time show, and all the bleachers are full. When the girls Varsity team plays, 4 Sophomore cheerleaders stand on the side and talk to each other, there is no band, no drill team, and there are 4 people watching- besides the parents of the players. I know the school can't control how many spectators show up, BUT the cheerleaders, drill team, and band should be at both. The school should supply the same things to both teams. The girls play just as hard, and they play right before the boys play. The girls are in the 4th quarter of their game when the cheerleaders come in and start getting ready. They are in the 4th quarter when the band shows up- and tunes up. they are in the 4th quarter when all the people show up and the drill team comes out. The girls see all this. They know they don't get any of it. In fact, the girls went into double overtime last night and the boys team stood at the end of the gym, annoyed that it was taking so long. They didn't even clap or cheer for the girls!!!! Makes me irate. And I'm not even a feminist.
ReplyDeleteWell now I'm mad about a new thing.
DeleteAnd I AM a feminist.
My daughter also plays basketball... I feel your pain.
DeleteThis was my complaint when I played basketball in high school 30 years ago! Where's the progress, people???
DeleteI was in high school pep band and remember being bothered by this! And sadly it was the same in college too. No one went to the girl’s sporting events!! Ugh.
DeleteMy husband grew up in Shiprock, NM, and he says the ladies basketball games were a BIG deal there. Always the best attended games.
DeleteThe high school I work at is very similar. The cheerleaders are excited once football season is over, because it means they don't have to cheer as much. You have to remember, though, that these kids are expected to be at every game, for the various sports, they have to practice and actually do have to work really hard. Most sports have a season, but cheerleading is supposed to be for all of the sports. Your frustration is understandable, but there is another side to it.
DeleteAt the high school I went to they had the full cheer squad at the football and boy's basketball. Then they split the squad into smaller teams and the smaller teams would split up most of the other sports (volleyball, wrestling, girls basketball, boys & girls soccer). The cheerleaders however never showed up at baseball, softball, or either boys or girls tennis...not even when they made it into the state tournaments. There is definitely a hierarchy and it's not the cheerleaders fault or even the coaching team. I think a lot of it has to do with the administration and pushing from the coaching staff of certain teams and attendance records for various sports. It's complicated but definitely frustrating.
DeleteI hate Zupas now even though I have never been there. I now want to go there just to do something awkward to help them see how awkward they are. Eli, what if you ordered as you usually do and wait for them to put the cup on your tray, and when they ask you if you want it, pick up the cup, rip it in half or crush it or lick it or something, and then set it back down on the counter, and say in your politest voice, no thanks.
ReplyDeleteI've been to two Zupa's and I've never had that happen...maybe it's something at that location. I do like your "solution", Eli film yourself doing any of those...internet gold.
DeleteYeah, maybe it's specific to that one location. I've never been to any other location. (Mine is the one in Sugarhouse next to the movie theater).
DeleteNext time don't say yes or no, just look around like you don't want anybody to see. Then look back at the cashier and make really uncomfortable eye contact and reach out and slowly push the cup back at her until it tips over. Don't say anything even after the cup tips over. The key is not blinking, don't show fear. Also, some of those anonymous posts were me, I was lazy and didn't bother signing in until now. Good luck guessing which ones were mine.
DeleteNSFW/Foul language alert!!! (you've been warned, Strangers). Our local gas station chain requires that their employees must offer you something "from the Hot Spot" AND get the last word in on every transaction. This causes my husband great distress because 1) he knows what he is there for and it isn't on the Hot Spot and 2) HE also insists on getting the last word in. Every.time. One day he stopped in for a few items and gets all the way thru the line just to have the cashier say "Do you want anything from the Hot Spot?" And he replied "No." She then pushed some more "But we're having a pizza sale! It's buy one get one free!" Thru gritted teeth he said "No thank you. I just want to pay." Again she persisted "We've been challenged by the westside store to sell at least 100." He finally cracked and whisper-yelled "Listen lady, I'm a 39 year old man who can decide what he wants and doesn't want. I want to pay for these 3 items and leave. I don't want that wretched shit on a shingle that you call pizza." She was speechless. He was just so pleased he finally got the last word. In his defense, their pizza is horrible.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame him, I wouldn't eat anything from something called "Hot Spot" either.
DeleteMy complaint is similar...
ReplyDeleteSubway. My local subway has three behind-the-counter employees. I have a large-ish family, therefore, I'm ordering anywhere from 4-6 sandwiches. I walk up... "I am going to need 5 sandwiches, all on wheat."
Employee 1-"What is on this sandwich?" So far so good, right?
So, I respond with my choice.... sandwich is made and sent down the line...
As employee 1 asks me the choice for the second sandwich, employee 2 is asking what veggies I want on my first sandwich. Gah! Okay... Now I'm moving up and down the line overseeing the two sandwiches. THEN, sandwich three gets made, and sandwich 1 isn't finished... so we have a sandwich traffic jam!
Fast forward: two sandwiches made, three still stuck in traffic, I'm trying to be as efficient as possible ordering what veggies/ sauces/ options I want... and employee #3 begins ringing me up, asking me which sandwiches I ordered, and do I want chips and a drink. DUDE! I'm still trying to answer the "What veggies do you want on this sandwich" questions for the last two sandwiches!! Then he's like, "Insert your card." Well... I can't walk away from my card, but I also can't oversee the production of the last sandwich.. so employee #2 is standing there staring at me.
At this point, no matter how cool I may appear on the outside, I've broken a sweat and I'm screaming in my head.
Sighhhhhh... I need an ordering kiosk.
Thank you for letting me vent. I feel a tiny bit better.
Hahahahahahaha. This is legit juggling. You are a juggler.
DeleteIf it helps, Subway actually has an order app now! At least they do here in Virginia. :) Then you can walk in all suave like, grab your sandwiches, and book it out!
DeleteSAME when my four kids and I go to subway. And they stare at you like they don’t get why you seem flustered. Oh and because my kids are also grabbing all the bags of chips and swinging them around and asking can we have these too?! Please mom?!! And i feel like i have to because they just smashed half the chips. We don’t go to subway very often anymore.
DeleteOrdering online is a life saver. My goal in life is to become Sandra Bullock's character in The Net, but without all the murder and intrigue.
DeleteSANDRA BULLOCK in the net. Man, i was like... ten? Twelve? When that movie came out?! Ha, ahhh the Internet.
DeleteRub it in Amy, rub it in.
DeleteI'm pretty sure I think about The Net at least once a month since I've seen it however many years ago that's been. Amazingly terrifying movie!
DeleteOk so I had to go look it up... I was actually 18 when it came out. But in my mind when I remember watching it I feel like I was such a kid. Like a little kid. Oh, in so many ways. And so wow.
DeleteFirst of all, kudos for complaints about small annoyances. There are far too many in life to keep them all bottled up. I won't start on mine, we don't have all day. I agree that adding a cup to your order to assume you into purchasing a drink crosses a line. If I semi-regularly frequented a place that used that tactic, I would probably preemptively say as I stepped up to the cashier, "Hi, no drink please" before they got a chance to ask. Take back your power!
ReplyDeleteBeginning a sentence with "So." I don't care if it's not technically a grammatical error. It's just damn annoying!
ReplyDeleteYou must HATE this site.
DeleteAlso, this is one of those things that annoys me too, even though I do it ALL THE TIME.
The Zupas down in Orem is not that bad. Maybe you just have one with inefficient workers. I'm sorry, that's super obnoxious!
ReplyDeleteHere's my thing that doesn't matter but bugs me. The Kroger grocery stores do a Friday Free download where you get a digital coupon for a free item. Sometimes it's a angle item that's normally in a pack, like a single protein bar. Other times it's an item that's new, like the new Sara Lee Artesano bread or a bag of a new brand of beef jerky.
At my Kroger in Mississippi, they would have a sign up by the registers telling you what the freebie was, and next to it was a display holding said free item. It was super convenient. At my Smith's here in West Jordan, they don't have the display with the free items, or at least don't have it somewhere obvious. I don't have time to wander around a giant Smith's Marketplace trying to find my free item, often in vain! I've got a toddler and a baby. My time at the store is very limited. It also bothers me because Mississippi is so podunk and my Kroger was kind of ghetto, whereas this is a fancy nice Smith's Marketplace where you'd think they'd be more accommodating.
Not a Kroeger brand store, but here on the east coast we have a chain that does a similar free Friday thing! But. You have to add a coupon to your “card” with their website or app, when they email you about it, because it’s not advertised. Ok, no biggie, I can handle that. BUT THEN. Half the time I can’t even FIND the item, or when I do they’re out of stock, or my particular store doesn’t even carry that brand of ice cream, etc. It’s infuriating! The nice thing is, they give you a two week window to pick up the freebie, so I can check for it a couple of times before giving up. Haha!
DeleteI'm amazed that you can write on something as simple as being annoyed at the Zupas pay counter, and it strikes a nerve with people. In a good way. You have a gift of being relatable no matter the topic!
ReplyDeleteI really can't stand backtracking. Drives me batty. For that reason alone, my husband and I have set up that I do all the washing of the dishes, and he does putting away so I don't have to repeatedly track across the kitchen. I'd also rather pay a late fee on a library book because I forgot to bring it with me to the library.
So yeah. Backtracking. I'm not a fan.
This.
DeleteI live in a rural area. The closest major city is about 2 hours from my house so we don't go there very often. When we ARE there, its like a treat. Let's eat somewhere fancy! Let's shop at all the fun stores! But if my mom is with us, she only wants to visit ONE area of the city and then go home. 'Oh, well we're shopping on this side of the city so we can't eat at that restaurant because its in another part of the city.' Really? We drove 2 hours to get here. I think we can spare the 20 minute drive to get to the restaurant before going home.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger at worked a local pizza place, we made sub sandwiches that were TO DIE for (they still are - I still eat at this place at least twice a month and it's been 27 years since I worked there). These divine sandwiches always came with chips and a pickle spear on the side. ANYWAY, we get a new manager and they decide company wide that we need to put the pickle spear on TOP of the sandwich after it's made. Not next to the sandwich, right smack in the middle of it - I seriously refused to do this and almost walked out during a shift because I refused to do this. No body wants pickle juice on their sandwich, without being given that choice. To this day whenever I get a sub the first thing I do is take the pickle off and put it on the side by the chips. It makes my blood boil just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so awesome! My husband asked me if I wanted to go to Cafe Zupas on Saturday and I declined because of these very reasons. I said that I didn't want to fight for my food.
ReplyDeleteAdults who talk like pre-teens are my big beef. I have a 50-ish neighbor who frequently talks about her ‘vacay’ and also references the ‘po-po’. Drives me so crazy that I avoid her at all costs.
ReplyDeleteI think you live next door to my mom! Bless her heart but yes these things bother me about her!
DeleteNothing irks me more than taking a handful of clothes to the dressing room at a store, saying “I have 5 items”, and then the attendant reaches out and counts my items in my hand! I’m an adult! I can count. Stop disrespecting me by implying that I’m a liar!
ReplyDeleteWhew. Thanks.
YES! I hate this so much. They do this all the time to me at Ross!!
DeleteBeing called "hon" by waitresses/servers/retail clerks younger than me (teens or 20's). The only people allowed to call me "hon" without me wanting to lecture them on how to speak to customers are seasoned, older women servers in truck-stops or diners, or kindly, older ladies. Otherwise, just NO.
ReplyDeleteYes! I complete agree. You have to earn the right to "Hon" people.
DeleteMy husband sits on things that are on the couch. If there is a piece of laundry on the couch, he won’t move it, he just sits down right on top of it. Occasionally he does this with books, cell phones, etc. This drives me insane! I can’t stand to sit on things that aren’t meant to be sat upon, I always move them. From that standpoint I can’t understand why he does it. Additionally, I end up needing whatever it is he sat upon about 50% of the time. And when I ask him to hand it to me he is always confused, he genuinely doesn’t realize he just sat on top of something and can’t see what I’m asking for. He also refuses to acknowledge that this is a Thing That He Does, which makes it all the more aggravating!!
ReplyDelete(He refuses to acknowledge on principle, just to annoy me and because he thinks it’s funny. Seeing as this is the biggest annoyance in our entire marriage...I’d say we are doing ok ;) and please know that I laugh about this just as much as I am annoyed by it! Hahaha. I kept wanting to put the “laughter crying” emoji while writing this except emojis don’t work here *half frowning face emoji*)
Start leaving small cacti on the couch, maybe it will help.
DeleteHahahahaha Suz, I am so bad at checking comments so I just saw this. Brilliant. Time to go to my local garden center!! :)
DeleteI work at a restaurant that has done a dirt-cheap deal once a week for about five months, and because I live in a college town, half of the city crams itself into our tiny store every Tuesday. I understand that it's my job to bring people their food, but I HATE HATE HATE it when people are taking their order to go and they walk to the other side of the lobby and sit down. I go out, I call "McKaylien" or "Bightonly" or whatever Utah name is the flavor of the month, and they make eye contact with me across the crowded room, nod at me expectantly, and wait as I weave my way across the lobby. I trip over people with huge feet, get pestered by people standing right next to the ketchup asking if we have ketchup, am attacked by people wanting to change their order, people who asked for fries and "actually wanted tater tots, soooooo...." and elbowed by people who just don't care. I finally reach them, hold out their bag, and say, "Hi! So we've got a--" just trying to confirm the order as I'm supposed to, and they say "GreatThanksBye" and rush past me, leaving me to fight my way back for the next order.
ReplyDeleteI Hate it.
So.
Freaking.
Much.
Can I add Utah Mormon names to the complaint list? I like this name generator... http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/mormon
DeleteMy husband and I recently decided that the reason for the Mormon names must be the propensity of gigantic families and not wanting to ever, ever repeat a name. You can’t have your kid and their second cousin once removed having the SAME NAME! *gasp* time to get creative!!
DeleteThe Zupas on 4th south is same way. Their up-selling drives me crazy. Why do I keep going back?!?
ReplyDeleteI get irrationally angry at the grocery store for two reasons. One when the person bagging my groceries doesn’t do it correctly and places heavy things on top of bread or something soft. I don’t get it. The second thing is when they ask me if I want something in a bag. It especially annoys me when I provide my reusable bags and I’m asked if I want something in a bag. Yes. That is why I has the bags. Put it in the bag. I am not an octopus.
ReplyDeleteI have these super nice 'boxes' from the store. They have handles and if you pull up the hard bottom they fold up. I bring SIX of them into the store. First...they don't pull the bottom down to support all THE EVERYTHING they are going to put into one bag. I have bought drinks. Drinks my husband likes. Drinks my son likes. Drinks I like. Drinks, drinks, drinkety drinks. Many, MANY drinks. The 12 year old bagger (not really, he's like...15 or 16) puts ALL the drinks into one bag. Without pulling the reinforced bottom down. I am the crazy bag lady who will bite their faces off when they do this. Yet, they do it every time. Maybe it's a game? Maybe they are waiting for the day I start crying. Anyhoo...I say to the 12 year old that I can't carry all the weight. Really, I don't think Arnold could carry all that weight. So they rebag it. All the bottles and a bag of something crushable. Like a loaf of bread. Yay.
DeleteI feel like "I am not an octopus" should be a part of Stranger vernacular from now on.
DeleteAt my school we have assigned parking spots and this girl parks behind her ex boyfriend so every day she pulls her car up too far, like to the point her front end is covering a good bit of his parking space, and leaves it. Mind you, these two parking spots are the closest to the door. So every day he has to park at the end of the lot and walk. And I love it. But it drives him mad.
ReplyDelete100th comment. That's all.
ReplyDeleteI HATE when people overuse the word "literally". Especially when they are not using the word correctly. You heart didn't literally just break from watching that episode of This is Us. You didn't literally just die when you saw that cute puppy video on YouTube.
ReplyDeleteI was having a really bad day but this post just made me laugh so hard. I love that I can come here to cheer up. Even over something as silly as ranting about checking out at a sandwich shop. I love Strangers
ReplyDeleteWhat I hate is when we're at a restaurant and the server comes to the table, looks directly at my child, and asks, "Would you like a refill of your soda?"
ReplyDeleteOf course she does.
However, I'm the mom and I do not want her to have another liquid sugar rush!
Don't ask my child, ask me. I'm the mom, I'm paying, I need to make the limits for my kid.
Same!!! Or since my kids are still preschoolers, it’s usually “would you like another chocolate milk?” When all they have eaten is a single bite of their entree and chugged all the milk. I have so much respect for servers that ask the parents instead of the children!
DeleteSo, my thing-that-doesn't-matter-but-probably-does complaint? PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS THAT DO. NOT. MATTER.
ReplyDeleteAnd robocalls from politicians. Has anyone, ever, in the history of ever based their vote on one? Probably not..so JUST. STAAAAAAAAAAAAAHPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!