I know that. You guys. I helped vote for that rule. I canvassed and everything. When they sent us those forms in the mail asking us to rank the top five worst sins in order, I even putting this one in front of Choosing To Be Gay.
When I see Christmas decor at stores in October, I ask to speak to the manager. I even hold a purse under my arm and wear a Bump It in my hair when I do it.
I consider myself on the front lines of the War on Christmas up until December 1 every year. I go to all of the secret meetings. Remember when Starbucks changed its holiday cup to be less overtly about Christmas and all of your uncles who have never gone to Starbucks in their lives posted about their boycott decision on Facebook?
That was MY idea.
But you guys. I was bored and we are going to Portland for Thanksgiving and so I decided I wanted to come back to a house that already had its Christmas decorations up.
By the way, nice try again, robbers. But we've got house-sitters/babysitters for Duncan staying at the place. It's 12 large and hairy men (they have a condition) who aren't allowed back into Disneyland after how they behaved last time. So don't even try.
Last night I hauled the alarming number of boxes labeled "Christmas" from my basement to the living room where I started dishing out assignments to Skylar and Matt. Matt did that thing where he intentionally did a bad job so I would stop asking him to help, which worked more effectively than I care to admit.
Skylar spent the entire evening putting together the fake tree and asking Alexa to play Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You on repeat because Skylar doesn't want to keep dating me for much longer.
I wasn't proud of myself, you guys. I could feel all of you judging me. More than usual, I mean.
Basically, this basically isn't even America anymore.
But we got the lights up. And I sat in my sweats, sipping hot tea and working on my knitting to the glow of a Christmas tree until 11:00 PM last night.
I'm totally willing to go to hell for this.
Merry Thanksmas.
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| Also, 2 of my favorite guys. |
~It Just Gets Stranger
Pretty sure I helped write this law before it went to congress or however that works... But this year I think we need a little Christmas right this very minute. Not to get political but I'll get political the grinch is making this country the nightmare before Christmas and I'm all for more goodwill toward caravans! Bring on the jingle bells!!
ReplyDeleteI'm putting up the tree in my office before I leave today because:
ReplyDeleteA) Classes are done and the campus is dead and I really don't have anything to do until grades start coming in next week.
B) I want it to be up when I return from Thanksgiving as well.
C) I reorganized my office and I'm planning to put the box of Christmas decorations in our storage area but I also want to decorate for Christmas so I've put storing the box off until the decorations are up and I really want the box out of my office.
D) You're going to Portland for Thanksgiving???? Are you at least making the Robitussin pie for your family before you leave? Are you making another one for Skylar's family???
A few years ago I saw a meme that said something like, "Every time someone decorates a tree before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer." So, now in my family, we just shake our heads sadly when we see them up and say, "There goes another baby reindeer." And when it snowed here in St. Louis last week and people were going insane about it snowing "so early!" I saw a meme that said, "Snow in November happens because people prematurely decorate for Christmas." It made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteBut I understand your reasons and won't judge you too harshly.
For some reason, every November since 2016 has felt like "we need a little Christmas, right this very minute." At the very least, there will be lights everywhere for therapy reasons.
ReplyDeleteI haven't lived in a country that celebrated Thanksgiving for a while, and it's kind of nice to see people not having to feel guilty about decorating for Christmas as soon as they want to.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we in the fifty states should adopt the same day as our northern neighbors and celebrate Thanksgiving half way between Labor Day and Halloween?
As one of your northern neighbours, I encourage you in this. We love Thanksgiving in October. It has already snowed and been -15C overnight so November really is not a month in which I feel thankful for much of anything, except when it's over and finally December so we can all put our Christmas decorations up. We are allowed to hang up our outdoor lights in November before it gets really cold, but we are not allowed to turn them on until December 1st. Because that is just wrong.
DeleteMy understanding is that you’re not allowed to be gay and not completely love the Mariah Carey All I Want for Christmas Is You.
ReplyDeleteI KNEW I was straight!
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