Because I STILL cannot stop reading and talking about the college admissions scam stuff, I tweeted the other day
Could someone out there help photoshop my face onto a water aerobics athlete? I’m trying to get accepted into my mother’s elite sewing group.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) March 13, 2019
That's only partly a joke. I really do want in on Cathie's sewing group. So do several of my friends. A few years ago I told Cathie that Brianne and Matt had both asked how they can get in and she just laughed dismissively and said something about how they couldn't even get into her C group. Then I found out from my sister Krishelle that there really are several sewing groups and Krishelle has tried to infiltrate the top one but you basically have to be part of the Illuminati to get in at this point.
Anyway, only 21 minutes later someone named Shane responded:
I got you. pic.twitter.com/8pIdxuFobH— Shane (@_robotshane) March 13, 2019
which is EXACTLY why I'm on Twitter.
Then I remembered that actually this is the SECOND time a stranger from the internet has photoshopped my head into a water aerobics photo. Several years ago someone named Logan sent me this:
And I have no idea how I ended up being the kind of person people from the internet on more than one occasion have decided to take time out of their lives to do this for, but I 100% don't regret any of my life choices, cause y'all, I'm definitely getting into college now.
I was in the middle of daydreaming about all of the hacky-sacking I was going to do for the next four (to six) years, when I suddenly saw Matt post THE MOST GLORIOUS PHOTO of all time on Mr. Ollie Pants's Instagram account.
You guys. Look at that thing. It should be in a museum. They should incorporate it into Planet Earth 3. I want an entire episode about the sleeping habits of the domesticated cavoodle.
I immediately texted Matt and demanded that he photoshop Duncan's head onto Ollie's body so I can submit it to his application to Notre Dog.
Skylar and I spent at least ten minutes trying to think of what other schools he could apply to. Like Dogmouth. And Barkvard.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Amazing. All of it.
ReplyDeleteWould you consider sending Duncan abroad? I hear the Sorbone is good, and bribery is the French national pastime. Maybe he’d like it in England? Not even necessarily Comebridge or the London Obedience School of Trickonomics—I’ve heard great things from my friends at Durhound University, or BowWowWick, where those hot rowers live.
ReplyDeletePerhaps even Dogwarts?
DeleteEli, how on earth did you miss this one!!!
DeleteBarkony College would be perfect for Mr. Duncan Doodle
DeleteThis is a real college name:
DeleteBarking and Dagenham College
Barkford.
ReplyDeleteSomeone on the radio today noted that Jussie Smollett needs to send thank you letters to Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman because no one is talking about him anymore. I slow clapped this comment in my car . . .
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm wondering is why didn't they just put that half a million dollars in a trust fund and have someone dole out an allowance for the kid to live on. They've got to know if they have to pay to get their kid into uni that the child isn't going to do well enough to graduate and get a job. I could live for 10 years without working if someone dropped $500,000 in my lap, longer if I economized.
ReplyDeleteI haven't looked at this blog in months. On the day I do, there is a picture that I photoshopped years ago. I think it is a sign that I need to come back.
ReplyDeleteLoagannnnnnn! Yes!!! This is fate!!!
DeleteAlso why did you leave us?
I was pursuing my dreams doing professional water aerobics.
DeleteBarklee, OBVS.
ReplyDelete(my preferred thing). Truly, you can do that! When I was shooting some newborn child photographs and I had shot a few dozen photographs of baby twins. print a vector from photoshop
ReplyDelete