Sunday, October 6, 2019


Meg wrote this article for The Beehive last week and I've been sharing it on the social medias because it's about ME and HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM so how could I resist, etc.

In all seriousness, it's one of the sweetest things anyone has ever written about/to me. Meg writes about the history of our frenimyship-become-friendship and what that has looked like to her during the years in which I came out and started courting* Skylar.

*I hate myself for saying "courting."

Meg likes to tell the story about when she approached me at a craft festival in Salt Lake City four or five years ago and yelled over blaring music that she wanted to collaborate on some projects with me. We had met once before at a storytelling show. I thought she was funny, and was flattered that she seemed to think I was, too.

Meg writes in the article about how we struggled to learn to work together as she became more involved in Strangerville, eventually taking over as cohost when Jolyn entered the Witness Protection Program to get away from me.

One of the most important things I've learned from working with Meg is how important it is for me to be willing to trust people I admire. I'm stubborn. I mean well, and I genuinely love the people in my life, but I struggle very much with change, especially when I feel like it's being thrust upon me.

I don't know why I'm this way. There have been so many experiences in my life where I have learned that other people frequently have ideas I should listen to. Nearly every possible thing Skylar has tried to introduce to me, I have resisted in some way. And 100% of the time, I end up finding out he was completely right.

With time, I learned to release my control a little bit when it came to Meg. Part of this was because I could tell how frustrating my stubbornness was to her, and I didn't want to frustrate Meg because I very much loved her (NOT SEXUAL MOSTLY).

On many occasions I had to force myself to remember that I love literally everything Meg produces so there's no reason to resist her ideas. With time, we became more collaborative in that way--more used to trusting each other--more proud of one another. We became friends. Real friends. This relationship has truly become one of the most valuable relationships I've had. (STILL NOT SEXUAL).

Meg has been involved in Strangerville in some way or another for three or so years now and looking back I can honestly say that our storytelling and community have been exponentially improved because her involvement.

I'm grateful that even stubborn people like me can be stopped from self-sabotage.

With that, please enjoy some Strangerville:

This time in Strangerville, Eli got married. And a woman and her 7-year-old niece recount a babysitting nightmare.
Water Tsunami, by Krishelle McCann & Emrie
Produced by Eli McCann & Meg Walter

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. B. Did you have the parts in your hair swoosh over toward each other on purpose, and then remember to sit on the right sides of each other so that said hair swooshes would do that, or was it some kind of magical cosmic coincidence?
    C. I'm impressed either way, actually.
    I originally had an A, but I deleted it. Too tired to change the rest. This comment PROBABLY WON'T EVEN POST BECAUSE THE RUSSIANS AND TRUMP OR HILLARY AND EMAILS OR SOMETHING.

  2. So question for you or the Strangerville community . . . this came to mind because of your comments about trust. And this isn't exactly what you were talking about but hey - tangents are allowed - right?

    My son's friend is worried because he is very NOT social and she is VERY social. They're best friends but she has a lot of friends that she hangs out with. He doesn't. She's worried that it's going to hurt him and their friendship because he's more social than she is. She says she tries to bring him into conversations about things he's interested in with they're with her other friends, but he usually just sits on his phone watching YouTube videos.

    I'm talking to him about it tonight. Part of me is okay with this. I think he's okay with the fact that she has a lot of friends and doesn't spend all her time with him. In fact, he greatly appreciates alone time so it's good for him that she has other people to hang out with. However, I also know that socialization is important. It's also extremely hard for a kid with ADHD and high anxiety who gets bullied . . . . a lot. So how do I encourage him to be more open to social interactions? I'm worried that all he is doing is watching YouTube instead of trying to be conversational. I considered removing YouTube from his phone but I know it's also an anchor for him with his anxiety so I don't necessarily want to do that.

    Sorry - this is a really long post not about Strangerville. But this Stranger community is one of the most supportive communities I've found online and sometimes questions like this are easier to ask of Strangers than of the people I interact with everyday (if you can't tell - he comes by this socialization issue naturally).

    1. As a wife of an adult ADHD/ADD guy, let me say that your son will be just fine*.

      The YouTube video thing is a way for his brain to deal with the mayhem happening internally. He's hyperfocusing so he doesn't flip out.

      When my husband and I go to social events together, it can be *very* hard for him to sit still for extended periods. He likes to take photos, so he brings his Big, Fancy Camera to E V E R Y T H I N G and takes pictures. And then when we get home, he's hyperfocused on editing those photos to the point of losing track of dinner time and probably not getting to sleep until 3 a.m.

      Side note: He takes Vyvanse, an anti-depressant, and does EMDR therapy weekly. All of these things contribute to our ability to communicate well, and has really helped to counteract his tendency to shut down and not answer questions/not talk when he's feeling trapped or uncomfortable (which is most of the time).

      I am the social one in our marriage, and he is not as social.

      *Not a doctor/psychologist, and plus also I don't know you, but I've been married to this lovely guy for 12 years now, and with him for 14, and I've learned a LOT about this stuff over that time! Even before you mentioned the ADHD in your comment, I just KNEW you were going to say it. And if you weren't going to say it, I was going to suggest it.

      P.s. If you aren't a member of a support group for parents of kids with ADHD, please consider joining one. Joining a support group for wives of husbands with ADHD/ADD *changed my life*. I was on the verge of divorce, seriously. That support made all the difference!

    2. Nicole, for what it's worth, my son (who's 26) is severely ADHD. He had similar issues when he was in school. He told me being around a lot of people "drained his batteries," and it took a good amount of alone time to recharge them. He found, though, that being in small groups of 2-3 people was less difficult for him. By having these smaller hangouts, he improved his social skills and grew his social circle little by little. He still doesn't enjoy large groups, but it doesn't give him the anxiety and energy drain that it used to. He's into D&D now, which has also helped improve his social skills. (I know, most people make fun of D&D, but it has been a wonderful thing for him.) Good luck with your kiddo!

    3. Thank you both. I'm actually very well educated on ADHD and anxiety. He gets the ADHD from my husband (who I have been with for 21 years and whom I knew on our first date had ADHD even though he wasn't formally diagnosed until a year ago). I also have a degree in education and I learned a lot about ADHD in my schooling and have supplemented my knowledge every chance I get.

      That being said - thank you both. I "know" it'll be okay but sometimes you need to hear someone say it. I'm not in a formal ADHD support group - but I have a lot of friends who have people in their lives dealing with it. However, I'm the one they come to because in their eyes I've got it together and I know my stuff. So it's helpful when others who have been in the trenches tell me it's going to be okay. It's reassuring.

      And thank you Eli for letting me use this post as my own little therapy session.

    4. ADHD aside, your son sounds like an introvert like myself. Large groups drain my energy and I treasure my alone time to recharge and enjoy my own company. I was never one for parties, clubs, etc. but give me one interesting person to talk to and I’m great.

  3. "Nearly every possible thing Skylar has tried to introduce to me, I have resisted in some way. And 100% of the time, I end up finding out he was completely right." ... You take after your father. And Skylar is me. 🤣😂🤣

  4. I love Cathie so much