Thursday, December 10, 2020

I am married to a deeply weird person.

Just a few days ago Skylar and I decorated gingerbread cookies. With sweat at my brow, I mixed and rolled the dough and then I carefully baked them with love. We covered them with colorful frosting and other decorations. It was so damn cozy and lovely. 

"What a wonderful husband I am," I thought to myself about this magical experience I created for Skylar. "And now he'll have these delicious treats to munch on for several days." 

I even put them on a Christmas plate my mother gave me.

The cookies then sat on the counter for one day. Then two. Then three. Untouched were they by the man who swore with a blood oath to devote every iota of his being to cherish me.

Then on Tuesday night I heard him say "I really need a sweet snack."

Finally, I thought to myself. He'd finally go eat those cookies.

A minute later I saw him pour pepto bismol into a glass. INTO A GLASS. Take a sip. Smack his lips. Make that "ahhh" sound like a tv dad who just started drinking a beer. And then say "that hit the spot."


Have I ever eaten Flinstone vitamins as a snack? Sure.

Did my sister and I used to sneak into the medicine cabinet to drink the grape cough syrup? Yes.

But never in my life would it occur to me to go drink PEPTO. BISMOL. 


Especially not while there are delicious gingerbread cookies sitting out on a Christmas plate!

Gingerbread cookies MADE WITH LOVE!

I can barely drink pepto bismol for medical reasons. Why would anyone want to drink it. FOR FUN.

I am married to a deeply weird person.

~It Just Gets Stranger 


  1. Whelp, time for a good re-education smack upside the head.

  2. I only associate this stuff with bad stomach issues, so the very thought of drinking it makes my stomach churn.

  3. I think this means that Skylar has been possessed by an alien life force who is trying to "fit in" with humanity while simultaneously plotting its demise

  4. This is the kind of stuff that you need to find out BEFORE you marry a person.

    Not eating homemade gingerbread cookies is definitely grounds for divorce.

  5. I had to reread this a couple times to made sure I understood. That is weird. But, if pepto bismol is as delicious as I remember from childhood, then maybe I’m weird for not drinking it more.

  6. On an entirely unrelated note: I had a dream that you and Skylar invited me over to hang out, and you had a giant, but empty, in ground pool in your backyard. Next to it stood a lovely hand-refinished antique bedside stand? For reasons? And I was so excited/nervous to be at your house that I was being clumsy and accidentally knocked the stand into the pool and it shattered into smithereens. You and Sky were furious and threw me out and told me never to read the blog again. I woke up literally with tears in my eyes and it took a good hour to reconcile that it was, in fact, only a dream. Still, please accept my apology! Please don't ban me from the blog!

  7. Was it the cherry flavored kind? My boyfriend LOVES the cherry flavored kind... *ugh*

  8. Dimetapp really was the beat cough syrup, though. As an older child, "oh, I have a cough. I need more medicine. *sips directly from the bottle* I feel so much better!"

  9. Maybe watching the Derry Girls bake will contrast enough that he sees your toil, sweat, and marital oath as the gifts they truly are!


  11. IN. A. GLASS.

    (And sorry don’t even know i ended up here)