Monday, July 15, 2013

Sneezing

My sister Krishelle graced the land of Palau with her presence last night. Daniel and I picked her up at the airport after dark and then both simultaneously spoke at 700 words per minute on the entire drive back to our place, explaining every single thing we have ever heard about Palau.

This is the first time we have had a guest here, and it was so very strange to have someone around. I felt like a Kindergartner showing his mom his classroom. Except instead of Kindergartner, I'm practically a grown up who's probably going to go through puberty soon. And instead of my mom it's my older sister who convinced me until I was roughly eight years old that she had kidnapped me at a carnival from bad people and somehow got Bob and Cathie to believe I was their child and that she would be willing to keep the secret if I just did whatever she said.

THAT sister. THAT sister has traveled to the other side of the world to visit me in Palau.

I'm taking some time off of work to babysit show her around our beautiful island nation. Daniel hoped to be able to do the same but since he just took eleventy million days off in a row, ending late last week, so he could frolic in the meadows with his parents in the U.S., he feels like he should spend a little time in the office now.

However, he did have a break for lunch today when the three of us took a quick tour through town to show Krishelle the main sites of the thriving metropolis of Koror Palau.

Krishelle and Daniel are close, and he was at least as excited for her to come visit as I was. And in fact, I'm not always convinced that the two of them care whether or not I'm there when we're hanging out. I'm pretty certain that if at any time I excused myself to use the bathroom at a public place (something I would never do because of the "public place" part, but you know, it's a hypothetical) there's a 50% chance they would leave without me and forget that I ever existed. And then they would get back to the apartment and be all, "whose clothes are all of these? And how did we get to Palau in the first place?"

While we were driving down the streets of Koror today, Daniel was chatting away, excitedly showing Krishelle every possible thing he could get her to focus on. "See THAT bush!? I sometimes run past that bush! And that gas station!? We got gas there JUST THIS WEEKEND!!!"

Suddenly, in the middle of his grand tour, he hit the brakes in the Stormtrooper and stopped in the middle of the road. We didn't know what he was doing, until he opened the door, cars stopped behind us, and sneezed out of the car. He then shut the door and started driving again, carrying on about the bridge we were about to cross like nothing had happened. Krishelle and I exchanged a look and then Krishelle just asked, "um . . . why did you just stop the car in the middle of the road?"

Daniel answered, in a voice like it was a perfectly reasonable explanation, "to sneeze out of the car. Because my shirt is wet from sweating."

We have attempted to decipher this all day. I blame it on his probable Marfan Syndrome.

~It Just Gets Stranger

25 comments:

  1. Daniel hit the brakes, not the breaks. Other than that, your hair looks marvelous! Have you been using a new product?

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    1. Ummm - you must have gone back and edited that . . . . YOU FIGURED OUT HOW TO EDIT!!!!!

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    2. For that matter, it should be "whose clothes," not "who's clothes." :P

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    3. Muchas gracias* ;)

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    4. I'm going to stop writing and just start posting pictures from now on.

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    5. Dearest Eli, I have corrected your grammar in the past but not because I really care; only in a humorous way and in hopes that you would take it that way. Kind of like when you interrupt someone who's telling a story with a really irrelevant question. Anyway, having posts with only pictures or maybe you telling the story in a video would be so awesome! It would be a way to innovate in your blog.

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    6. While I LOVE your pictures, I have developed an addiction to your blog, so unless your doing videos NEVER STOP WRITING.By the way, your new weight looks marvelous on you!! Time to go shopping!!1

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  2. So maybe he didn't want to make his shirt any wetter? Like, maybe it was starting to dry and he didn't want to undo the progress by sneezing on it? Did you at least ask him for an explanation? Maybe he has a very confusing but somewhat legitimate one?

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  3. I'm thinking he may be one of those people who pull their shirts up to their faces when they sneeze, using it as a handkerchief. This might be a less pleasant procedure for someone with a sweat-soaked shirt. Although, why that means he couldn't just sneeze out the window, or into YOUR shirt, I can't say. Maybe he felt that stopping the car to sneeze would make a better impression on your sister, with whom he's in love.

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    1. that's actually not too crazy of an explanation, especially the in love with Krishelle part...

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  4. That is the publicly acceptable way to sneeze why you're sweating. That's why Florida and California have such bad traffic. People just stop and sneeze.

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  5. OMG! Strangers, can you imagine Eli and Daniel as brothers-in-law? OH, the stories from now until eternity! So fun.

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    1. I just want to agree with you and bless you for saying "brothers-in-law" and not "brother-in-laws". Makes me crazy.

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    2. Isn't Krishelle married already, though?

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  6. You should always cough or sneeze into the crook of your arm. Not the shirt! That's just unsanitary. If you're choking lift both arms in the air and wave 'em around like you just don't care. This will help dislodge the food and alert someone that you're in need of help. Or a party.

    Marfan Syndrome, Innocuous, Sandra Day O'Connor. I'm learning so much.

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  7. Why would you even attempt to decipher anything Daniel does?

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  8. I would just like to say, I love your blog. And I just laughed until I cried a little bit. I do that sometimes. Also, I want to add that as a professional proofreader, I will never attempt to edit your blog. Do you know why? Because it's yours. It's not a professional letter to the president or Jesus or Christian Slater. It's your personal blog. Also, I have a blog and I know I must make many errors, and it is my worst nightmare to have them pointed out to me in front of all the people on the internet. That being said, there really isn't even a need for proofing your words because you write in such an enjoyable and awesome way, serving a great purpose to make the world a happy place. Thank you.

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  9. ^ THANK YOU, Jennifer Lee!! Now everybody QUIT proofing his blog and just enjoy his stories. I swear if he goes to just posting pictures, as much as I would love them, I will hunt all you proof-readers down and will personally make you eat left-out-hard-boiled-eggs!
    Love your stories, Eli. From now on you could just purposely include a bunch of grammatical errors, and only those of us that don't care will continue on with you...:o)
    Dr. V (<<- Yes, I am a really doctor and yes I love your blog!)

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  10. So a friend of mine who works with kids had to watch this video on how to prevent spreading germs, and she informed me on one of our road trips that when you sneeze in a car the germs stick around in there for about an hour. Perhaps Daniel is also privy to this delightful fact and wanted to save you from having to breath in his sneeze until you got home

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  11. does Daniel know you have a blog?

    (don't tell him)

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  12. Sounds like something one of my kids would say, then shoot me a super tude when I ask them to explain it...Followed by them telling me I'm boring...followed by long professions of love and intent to marry me.

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  13. This confirms my long held suspicion that Daniel and Krishelle will one day marry.

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