Rebecca is half French and she grew up between the U.S. and France. As a result, she has two native languages, which I would always forget until she whipped out her French on the phone with her mom and I suddenly felt like they were talking about me and how good my hair was looking that day.
Anyway, I was absolutely not pleased that Rebecca was leaving me last week. And I sort of thought, although her departure date was set weeks ago, that she would realize how much fun I am to live with and decide that living with Eli is 1,000 times better than living in Paris.
You guys. DOES PARIS SING MILEY CYRUS SONGS IN THE SHOWER AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING EVERY DAY?
On Rebecca's last night in the United States of God bless America, I had been waiting for her to come home from an evening of saying her goodbyes. It was late, so sometime after midnight I turned in to bed.
You guys. IT WAS A SCHOOL NIGHT.
I was sound asleep, minding my business, when I was suddenly awakened by the sound and feeling of an adult body landing flat onto my bed at 2:00 AM.
Eli: AHHHH!!!
Rebecca: Oh good. I'M GLAD YOU'RE STILL AWAKE!
Eli: What happened?! Was there a bomb?! Did someone set off a bomb?!
Rebecca: HAHAHA. Anyway, so I have ONE MILLION THINGS TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW RIGHT THIS SECOND.
Eli: Rebecca. It is the witching hour. Don't you ever run out of things to say?
Rebecca spoke at one trillion words per minute for what I think may have been the next three hours. I don't know what she talked about. I don't know what I said in response. All I know is that a half-French woman WHO NEVER DID LEARN TO SHUT CUPBOARDS DURING HER ENTIRE TIME LIVING WITH ME shuffled around on my bed talking until the sun pierced the sky.
ON. A. SCHOOL. NIGHT.
Grumpily, I climbed out of bed when my alarm went off in the morning. I wandered into the kitchen, where I found Rebecca making an
Eli: When does your flight leave?
Rebecca: In a couple of hours.
Eli: Um . . . why is all of your crap still ALL over my apartment?
Rebecca: Huh? Do you want a smoothie? I'M MAKING A GLUTEN-FREE SMOOTHIE!
Eli: Rebecca. Remember when you told me you were going to leave the place better than when you found it? Remember the "without-a-trace" promise?
Rebecca: Oh. Of course! It will all be gone before I leave!
Eli: How? Your flight leaves in a couple of hours, you haven't packed, and you have large pieces of furniture still here.
Rebecca: Oh my gosh! Look! I just found another Easter egg! IN THE OVEN!
Eli: Oh. Great. So how many other fire hazards did you leave around the house for me?
I came home from work later that day. Rebecca and her suitcase were gone. Everything else was exactly how it was when I left home that morning.
There was a pile of earrings in the bathroom.
And I miss the Hell out of her.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Eli!!! Pull yourself together! We still love you. I still love you. We can be soulmates and sing Paul Simon! And your hair is looking fantastic!!
ReplyDeleteI tell you, she's waiting for you to bring her back. And if you don't know what that means....well....
ReplyDeleteit's a trap....
DeleteIT. IS. A. TRAP. ELI. MCCANN.
this is the saddest post! Hopefully you can visit her and have some Parisian shenanigans together!
ReplyDeleteSounds like the beginnings of the perfect romantic comedy already!
ReplyDeleteIt's a romantic comedy...you were supposed to clumsily chase her through the airport before declaring your love for her in front of everyone right before she boarded the plane.
ReplyDeleteEli. This is the part in the movie where sad love songs play, and you mope all over the apartment. You might even have to cry a little, and then, you are supposed to hop on a plane and go chase her down and say all sorts of romantic things that make her cry (And then write them all in a post so we can all cry, too) For Goodness sake! HOW are you not getting all these not so subtle things??? And, where is Jolyn during all this? I feel like this is the best book I ever read, and I can't even read the end to see how it all turns out.
ReplyDeleteWhat Moriah said!
DeleteHave you never seen the "American Girl In Paris" episodes of Sex in the City????
ReplyDeleteGo. Get. Her.
ReplyDelete*Cue the rom com montage of good times mingled with a disney-haired sad man*
ReplyDeleteAt least you got some free earrings. And there are always more eggs to find.
I didn't know your roomie was a TCK! That makes her so much cooler and you so much cooler for being associated with her.
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite Stranger post in the history of ever.
ReplyDeleteWow. How utterly depressing, right after the high of completing your Half Ironman. I feel like she doesn't consider your feelings enough. I mean, yeah, you knew it was temporary. And, yeah, she let you refer to her as "living-in-sin-Rebecca." And, YEAH, you outright denied her supposed "gluten allergies" (I myself have a handful of friends who say it's absolutely a thing; better them than me, I say). And, YES, she sent you on a Easter egg hunt/cleaning ordeal...but. I mean. Really, Rebecca? PARIS? Even if it *is* a bit like going home, how can that compare to living everyday life with Eli?
ReplyDeleteHave you already purchased a ticket to visit her?
does this mean you'll have more time for fortify?!
ReplyDeleteFortify practically raises herself. It's that Casper who needs special attention.
DeleteAs always, poor Casper.
DeleteAw, that's so sad! Maybe it'll be like the last episode of Friends and she'll get off the plane and come back.
ReplyDeletethis is EXACTLY what I was thinking... I tend to relate everything in life to an episode of FRIENDS and this was just too spot on :-P
DeleteEli, tes cheveux sont magnifique aujourd'hui!
ReplyDeleteWell, at least now someone has said how good your hair looks in French.
This made me very very very sad. I agree with what everyone else is saying.. It does sound like the beginning of a Rom-com.
ReplyDeleteRebecca's younger sister, Claire, was my best friend in middle school. I was privy to many of those random unexpected French conversations. I mostly got quiet, hid behind my quiche and hoped they weren't talking about me.
ReplyDelete