Sunday, June 29, 2014

Cathie



Conversation with Cathie on the Phone

Cathie: Son, how are you?

Eli: Doing fine. How are you?

Cathie: Well not great.

Eli: And why is that?

Cathie: WELL. I happened to read your blog and you made me sound like a monster.

Eli: What are you referring to?

Cathie: I'm talking about the post you did the other day about your break up when you said that I texted you and called you "pitiful." I mean, WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER DOES THINGS LIKE THAT?!

Eli: Um . . . you?

Cathie: Come again?

Eli: Mom. You actually sent me that text. I didn't make that up. You are the kind of mother who does things like that.

Cathie: Well I don't see why the whole world has to know about it!

Eli: Well I'm sorry if I over-share a bit.

Cathie: It's fine. But maybe sometime you could write something that makes me sound really pleasant. Just to even things out.

Eli: Ok. What would you like me to say?

Cathie: Well I don't know. Just write about all of the good memories. And don't mention the time I threw candy-canes at you and your sister. Or all the times I dragged you out of church by your ear. Or the times I used to tell you the police were coming to take you away for telling lies whenever we heard sirens.

Eli: When I was six years old by the way.

Cathie: You were six when I did that?

Eli: Yes. I was SIX, Cathie. Did you know I used to do push ups at recess during Kindergarten to prepare myself for prison?

Cathie: Yeah. Don't mention any of those things.

Eli: Well what would you like me to mention?

Cathie: Oh, I don't know. Just make something up if you have to.

It's funny to me that there are thousands of people in this world who know a little about Bob and Cathie because of what I share on Stranger. And I love that I have this forum. Because I think Bob and Cathie are hysterical. And they should be shared with the world.

But Cathie, I don't have to invent stories to make you sound awesome. Those memories--the ones I share on Stranger--are just some of things that I love about you. I can never adequately explain to you how much I appreciate that you and Bob are a part of my life. Last week it was your birthday and I missed the chance to give you a Stranger shout out. But I want to give you one now.

You are the kind of mom I wish everyone could have. Yes, you dragged me out of church by the ear and made me imagine a life of prison, but I've never doubted that you cared about me. Thanks to you, I know how to appreciate stories. And thanks to you, I got to grow up with a perfect example of the importance of loving everyone, even if I'm not always great at doing that myself.

Most people who have upbringings like yours turn sour to the world and become perpetual victims. But not you. You're tough as nails but compassionate as Mother Teresa. You're the hardest worker I know, and yet you carve out time for the people in your life who matter. And you're the kind of person everyone would want to hang out with at the bar. Especially if we could somehow get you really drunk. Because we know you would be the crazy lady telling hysterical stories and doing the Macarena on a table to a song that is definitely not the Macarena.

You have all of my respect and more.

So, happy late birthday. Here's to another 61 years of playing cruel jokes on your family who loves you. In spite and because of the jokes.

~It Just Gets Stranger

28 comments:

  1. We certainly are lucky to have Bob and Cathie in our lives. Don't know what we would do without them!

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    1. said...the wise eldest daughter of Bob and Cathie. :) :) :)

      Cathie

      XoxoXoxoXo

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  2. Wow, Cathie is GORGEOUS!!!! What a babe! :-P

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    1. Agreed! Hubba hubba woo hooo!

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    2. My Cathie-radar is going bonkers over these two "anonymous" posts.

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    3. Hahaha. But actually I think Cathie is required by law to include "xoxoxoxo" somewhere in every Internet comment.

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    4. Pssst.... I heard that Eli got his FAB hair from Cathie

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    5. Thanks for clearing that one up for me, Eli. Hehehe

      I think his hair actually came from his Dad......well, at least it is about the same FAB color!

      Cathie

      xoXoxoXox

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  3. This is such a darling post. God bless you and mum and family! Cathie sounds like a hysterical person... I vote you do a vlog with her. Just sayin'.

    Country Girl's Daybook

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    1. Thank-you Country Girl, we do like to laugh! Don't know if I could stand doing a vlog with Eli...video images will add 20 pounds and I couldn't take that!!!....hehehehe.

      Cathie

      XoxoXoxo

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  4. You have the awesomest Mom in the whole world. Who was probably ready to strangle you for the first third of this post, ready to cry happy tears during the nice part, and ready to strangle you again when you mentioned her age. I think it speaks volumes for her Mormon Faith, that she was able to resist becoming an alcoholic with you as her son.... I say this with lots of affection, because I have a kid just like you. And daily, I want to hug him and strangle him it different times thruout. And I couldn't imagine life without him. As I am pretty sure Cathie feels about you. Happy Birthday, Cathie! You look great, and you obviously rock as a mom, as pretty much anyone who reads your son's blogs will agree. Not only with Eli, but from what we can see of your other kids, as well. It's no wonder your husband and kids adore you! Here's to many many more happy birthdays to follow!

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    1. Thank you Moriah! Your post is spot on...about how a mom can feel about her son! Mostly with Eli - I laugh! Being a mom is a tough job and I don't think any of us know how to do it "right". We just have to try and feel our way through it amidst failures and successes. I just pray I didn't cause any lasting damage,,,but somedays I wonder!! hehehhe

      Cathie

      XoxoXoXo

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  5. I think Cathie needs to stick around and read the comments more. Every time you mention her several people, including myself on occasion, try to get adopted by her.

    You rock, Cathie! We LOVE you!

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    1. I will happily adopt you but....but....do you really want Eli as your brother???! You know - he will start writing about you! ;) :( :) HEheheHe

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    2. oops...above signed...by Cathie XoxoXo

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  6. Eli, you and your mom are adorable. The compliments from our children always mean the most. Good for you to tell her how amazing she is...though I have a feeling she already knows! :)

    And as for this break up, there's only one thing to do...Just put your hands up, they're playing your song! Nod your head like Yeah. Move your hips like Yeah. Jay-Z something something Britney....

    You're going to be just fine!

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    1. Jodi, I swear to you I forced my friend Nic to listen to me sing every word of that song yesterday. Twice.

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  7. I, too, come from a practical joker of a mom. They make life so interesting. Happy Belated Birthday, Cathie!!!

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    1. Thank-you. Hope. My mom once covered soap bits with chocolate and served them to a visitor on April Fools Day. She also regularly got us all (her children) out on the front lawn screaming EARTHQUAKE at 4 AM in the morning on April Fools Day. Ya' know....you have to make life fun!! We all need things to laugh at! Because life can be pretty hard!

      Cathie

      XoxoXoXo

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  8. I was sitting right behind Bob and Cathie when I saw you at The Porch. I wanted to say hi to them, but I felt too shy! I think I was a little star struck!

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    1. It's good you didn't attempt to talk to them. They don't speak English.

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    2. Do you communicate like Walter Mitty with his guides in the Himalayas - pointing and gesturing?

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    3. Please say hi - next time...we DO speak a little English! ;)

      Cathie xoxo

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  9. My favorite thing (other than your posts and your hair of course, which is looking fabulous by the way) is when you comment, Eli. It enhances the experience and makes it more real.

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  10. You have always been my favorite son I believe I can forgive you for revealing my AGE (AGAIN!) plus other certain incidents relative to your earlier life (I won't try to defend myself - hahaha). I will be printing this and taping it to my mirror to remind myself of who I am supposed to be and to have a good laugh when I need one! Thank-you! This is pay that doesn't come in an envelope.

    Cathie

    XOXOXOXOXO

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  11. my mom used to pull my hair to make me behave in church - to the rest of the world, it just looked like she was lovingly smoothing my hair - but it worked!

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  12. Once I thought my mom was just playing with my hair while I was sitting next to my older sister; when we went to run upstairs to get a snack we discovered she had braided our hair together! Practical joker moms are the best!

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