Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Paul Simon

You guys.

The greatest thing that has ever happened in the history of happenings in the history of the entire United States of God bless Earth in order to form a more perfect union may the odds ever be in your favor with liberty and justice for all happened.

I, Eli Whistletalentationbly McCann, saw. Paul. Simon.

IN THE FLESH.

IN ALL OF THE FLESH.

I can't even begin to make up words to help you understand how excited I was sitting in my seat at least 45 minutes before the concert started, knowing that Paul Simon was in the same building as me. I swear to you that my heart was beating so fast that none of you have to exercise for a week. My heart was beating so fast that it reversed global warming and caused earthquakes in Djibouti.

Then the band walked out. All 12 or so of them. They walked out onto the stage that had eleventy billion different instruments on it, most of them something I believe Paul Simon invented because he wasn't satisfied with the crap us commoners use to create music.

The band started playing. And these people are hands down the most talented musicians I have ever seen in person. Every single one of them. The entire audience in the gigantic stadium just stared in silence as they played, almost in shock that anyone can be this good at doing a thing.

This went on for several minutes. And then.

OMG. Are you sitting down?

Paul freaking Simon walked out onto the stage, guitar in hand. And I was smiling so hard that I had to be taken to the emergency room later that night.

For the first time in my life, I understand those girls who cried in the 60s when they saw the Beatles. Because for the next 2.5 hours, I literally had tears forming in my eyes. And I am so not embarrassed about this. I have never cried for more noble reasons.

Paul Simon was phenomenal. The man is 74 years old, but you would never guess it. He danced around the stage with energy I haven't known since Cathie accidentally gave me a caffeinated beverage when I was 8. He played several different guitars with such precision and complexity that I started wondering if he invented music. And he sang out with the voice of God himself.

There was not a split second of this concert that was even remotely not the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

He played a perfect collection of his stuff, from the old to the new. I pulled out my phone occasionally to capture pieces of it because I knew I would need proof later that this wasn't a dream.



And it was amazing to sit with thousands of people who all appreciate and respect this man just like I do--thousands of people who could sing every word of every song right along with him, like we all collaborated together and wrote the music years ago and now we're just getting together to relive it.

It was beautiful.

And then the band, using every instrument on the stage, rocked out to You Can Call Me Al. Paul Simon was running across the stage, his fingers flying up and down his guitar, spinning mics around and belting every word. And I'm not hyperbolizing when I say that this song was the greatest performance of anything I have ever seen in my life.

The entire crowd was on their feet. You could not stay seated during this. It was impossible. It was probably illegal. And when the song finished, the sound of the people screaming over the greatest thing anyone has ever witnessed was deafening.

Paul and band took a polite bow, and exited the stage. Only to return for their first of three encore sets.

The band finally concluded its last encore song and exited. Paul stayed out for a moment and waved, chatting briefly with some people who had crowded the front of the stage.

He turned to leave, paused, and then picked his guitar back up. And you would have thought Santa Claus just showed up for round two of Christmas the way we all reacted to this.

Paul walked back up to the mic, now alone on the stage, acoustic guitar in hand, and started plucking one of the most familiar tunes to anyone in that room: the intro to The Sound of Silence. Possibly the greatest song ever written, and one of the first he ever released, now more than 50 years ago.

And he sang it. And it was unbelievable. He sang every word and did it like his entire life was just building up to this one performance. He performed everything like that.



He finished the last few words, plucked the last few notes, set his guitar down, waved, and walked off the stage.

People stood and clapped for a long time, tears in their eyes.

And I went home, and didn't sleep one single wink.

~It Just Gets Stranger

34 comments:

  1. I have chills...thank you Eli for letting me live vicariously through you.

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  2. Gah yes The Sound of Silence is the best song ever written.

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  3. Who went to the show with you? Paul Cylcemon, I hope.

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  4. I am so happy for you. When you said "in all the flesh" I was worried that somehow you had seen him naked. Then I was more worried that we were talking about all *your* flesh and you had somehow managed to got naked while seeing Paul Simon. I'm happy to know it was all purely innocent and fantastic.

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    1. I had the same concern. Whew!

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  5. I don't know what just happened but I had tears in my eyes reading this, and I am not even pregnant and thus cannot blame hormones. Nor do I know Paul Simon music. (Can I safely admit this here?)

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    1. Same. I don't even know much about Paul Simon but right now I feel like a super fan.

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    2. Paul Simon of Simon & Garfunkel. Everyone should have a knowledge of them.

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  6. Geez, I can't even find a single person who wants to go with me to Macklemore next week at Saltair after my friend bailed on me. Maybe I should switch musical allegiances.

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  7. I'd love to see Paul Simon, I love him. I saw Paul McCartney play Seattle a few years ago and it was as incredible as you described this show. I was screaming and fan-fueling just like those teenaged girls 50 years prior had. It brought tears to my eyes. I've seen some amazing shows but that topped the list. It's such a privilege to see an icon at the top of their game.

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  8. Calm down, he's not Prince. Or Garth Brooks. :)

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  9. A little off topic, but Strangerville shorts is my new spirit animal. I nearly died from laughing listening to the Guatemala short yesterday. Brilliant.

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  10. Garth did "The Day the Music Died" as the last song after 3 encores. It was a religious experience.

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    1. Oh that's nice. Paul Simon performs his own music.

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    2. As one of the nicest people (online) I've never actually met, I'm sure you didn't mean for that comment so be nearly so condescending as it comes across. I am a huge fan of both Paul Simon and Garth Brooks and appreciate the happiness they given me through music - be a song they wrote on one they simple preformed in such a way as to emotionally move a crowd.
      And like several others I also had chills and maybe a tear or two reading your account of your evening.
      However awesomesauciness for the win because I don't know who beats The King!

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    3. Well it was meant to be friendly banter in response to Angela's first message telling me to calm down because Paul isn't as good as Garth. Sorry if it came across as condescending! (and I actually like Garth Brooks)

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    4. And THAT is why you get control over the comments. :) Sarcasm/friendly banter is sometimes hard to convey in text alone. (this I know all too well from way too many experiences) One more reason we all love Strangerville so much.
      So my apologies for being, judgmental. For the record - equally as bad as condescending, maybe worse.

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    5. It was my mistake for forgetting to include the smiley face. Smiley faces make everything sound better. Like this: I hate you and you look terrible with that new haircut. :)

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    6. Or it could just a lesson learned: never pick a battle with a lawyer on a day when he hasn't had any sleep.(intended or not) :) <-- note: obligatory smiley face included

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    7. Let's start a crowdfunder for someone to develop a world wide official SARCASM font. It could win Strangers the Nobel peace prize.

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    8. Mine was sarcastic banter and so was Eli's. The sarcasm, exaggeration, and comedy are what I love about this blog. And the fact that Eli responds when readers kid him in the comments. I always make sure to post under my real life name so everyone knows I'm willing to own what nonsense I say. There was a time I was concerned I had offended Eli so I sent him an email. He actually responded. Which only made me feel like I had permission to be even more sarcastic and abusive in my comments. I would think less of Eli if he didn't respond to a sarcastic comment with even more sarcasm than I threw at him. :)

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  11. I cannot help but be disappointed here. How is it, that people all over the globe know and adore you, and you have gushed for YEARS about Paul Simon, and, he didn't look you up??!!! HOW can that man NOT KNOW ABOUT OUR ELI? How is this even possible?! I kept waiting for that part in your Blog that went into how Paul Simon singled you out/shook your hand/gave you a guitar/waved at you/mentioned you - SOMETHING!!!! I am almost in tears regarding this slight! I am so so so sad on your behalf, that you did not speak to him. In "all the flesh" as you (so startlingly) put it!
    Glad you were in the same building though!

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  12. My husband and I just went to see my favorite singer, Billy Joel, in November and I felt the same way. He rocked for 2.5 hours, no stops. It was magical!

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  13. I saw Elvis, live and in his leather-bound glory. So, top that bitches. ;-)

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  14. Gosh, I teared up listening to Sound of Silence sitting at my desk. I would have been a mess seeing it live played as a show finale. The song speaks to me and moves me in a way that I can't quite articulate. Whenever I try and make sense of it I can't figure out the exact message. Is silence good or bad? I don't really know...

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  15. Eli, I am so happy for you that you got to see Paul Simon in person! However, I need to point out a tiny error in your blogpost only because it is one of my pet peeves: Santa CLAUS does not have an E at the end. The Tim Allen movie is called The Santa Clause because there is a clause in the contract that Tim Allen didn't know he was entering into that causes him to turn into Santa. (You know about these things, being a lawyer and all.) But the mythical being is just Claus.

    Just wanted to let you know so you can fix it, and then maybe if you're a good boy this year, Santa will bring you something amazing for your stocking on Christmas Eve, like actual Paul Simon or a digeridoo.

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    1. That just became the most amazing movie title ever.

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    2. I'm so glad I'm not the only person who has never realized this before.

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  16. I am so excited that you got to see Paul Simon's flesh! Tears of joy for Eli, tears of Joy.

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  17. I AM SO SO JEALOUS!!!!! Your concert experience sounds 10000x better than mine, when I saw him perform with Sting like 2 years ago. DON'T GET ME WRONG IT WAS STILL AMAZING AND I CRIED REAL TEARS! But I was probably the youngest person in the entire arena and my friend and I were the ONLY people standing and dancing in our section. I'm going to go ahead and blame this on the old crusty Sting/Police fans who crowded up the place. I would say no offense but I wouldn't actually mean it because Sting is not my favorite and I really only took the concert as an opportunity to see Paul Simon because WHAT IF I NEVER GOT ANOTHER CHANCE?! If there is even the smallest chance of seeing Paul Simon perform somewhere you take it....even if he was doing a concert with the conglomerate cast of Glee. His dulcet tones would heal your bleeding eardrums.

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  18. I went and saw Journey (I know, not the real Journey) 2 years ago. It was SO FUN! Except that the friend I went with is super low energy, and barely stood up, and totally didn't want to dance. Next time, I'll be going with another version of myself.

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  19. Bruce Springsteen is my Paul Simon. I had a nearly identical experience when I saw him for the first time a few months ago. Sounds cheesy but I think about that concert, that experience, almost every day.

    Thank you for allowing me to avoid exercising for the week.

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