On Being a Mom

Brianne: Why do you already have a late fee on your phone bill?

Eli: Sorry, I think you have the wrong number.

Brianne: You know that line doesn't work in face-to-face conversations, right?

Eli: Can we talk about this later? I'm really busy right now.

Brianne: You're sitting on the floor eating Cheetos.

Eli: So we agree, then.

Brianne: I want to know right now why you already have a late fee on your phone bill TWO MONTHS after I switched your phone service providers.

Eli: Well it was a very confusing time in my life and I didn't really know what was happening and I didn't even realize that you had switched it.


Brianne: You did realize this. Because we talked about it. I gave you a very thorough lecture about responsible phone use. And then you even tweeted about.

Eli: Ok, I kind of remember that.

Brianne: And so I just looked at your phone bill and found out that you have already missed a payment and they are assessing a late fee.

Eli: Do you think this is going to reflect poorly on my integrity? I'm working on my integrity right now.

Brianne: I think this is reflecting poorly on your responsibility.

Eli: Oh that's fine. I'm not working on that one right now.

Brianne: I need you to explain to me why you would miss something as simple as a phone payment.

Eli: Well I thought it was set up for automatic payments.

Brianne: Why did you think that?

Eli: Because the Internet.

Brianne: What about the Internet?

Eli: That's what the Internet does. Gosh, don't you know anything?

Brianne: Ok, that's it.

Eli: What are you doing?

Brianne: I'm taking your computer and phone away. You've lost privileges for the day.

Eli: BUT!

Brianne: SHOULD I MAKE IT TWO DAYS?!

Eli: . . .

Brianne: Being a mom is exhausting.

~It Just Gets Stranger