I don't know what I've come down with but I am so sick right now. I was up almost the entire night rolling around in bed, aching all over, and pleading with the good Lord to take me home. Duncan tried to be helpful by lying directly on top of me all night long and then aggressively licking my face whenever I moved.
We've been in a half dreamlike state all day, wandering the house cloaked in a heat blanket connected to an extension cord that's so long that it can wrap around the world twice.
I am trying desperately not to turn to Web MD (I already convinced myself once this morning that I have Meningitis). But I seriously have no idea what I might have come down with. It feels different than anything I've ever experienced.
The point is, we have a brand-new episode of Strangerville for you today and it may be the last one because I'm probably dying. Well, unless Meg and Jolyn carry on without me. Which actually would probably be an improvement. Now I sort of hope I die.
This episode features some stories from The Suzzzz that are truly the most amazing dating stories I have ever heard in my life. We also used stories submitted by many of you on the Facebooks when I recently asked you for your worst dating experiences.
A huge thanks to Meg and to all of you. We also want to thank our sponsor, Silicon Slopes, who has been a really amazing partner to us and has not tried to distance itself from our sometimes-train-wrecks.
Please check it out and please enjoy!
This time in Strangerville we find out what other people's bad dates look like so we can feel better about our own. A woman is confronted by an unexpected guest at dinner. A blind date goes wrong when a man overestimates his love for Slim Jims. A guy breaks all four of a woman's low-bar rules. A canoe trip leads to unwanted advances. And a text message goes to the wrong person. Don't miss these and many other stories from the Strangerville hive mind in this cringe-worthy episode.
Intro by Adrianne Jones
Segment:
1. Four Rules by The Suzzzz and music by Bensound.com
Hosted by Meg Morley Walter and Eli McCann and story contributions from many of you.
~It Just Gets Stranger
I had this weird illness last year that made me super foggy-brained and super sore all over and constantly exhausted (like, couldn't leave the bed). But no other real symptoms. Like no fever or obvious source of infection like my sinuses or lungs or stomach. Anyway, I felt like dying for two days and then on the third day I was feeling the tiniest bit better but then my eyes got super puffy. I waited three more days before going to the doctor. I was convinced I had mono but that was negative. So the doctor checked me to strep and then was like "I dunno" and gave me an antibiotic and steroid and sent me on my way. Steroids make you feel AWESOME. And the antibiotic did the trick and I was better in like two days. But yeah, I've had a mysterious death illness before too. Sorry you're feeling sick.
ReplyDeleteYes! That! No fever or cough or stuffiness or anything "normal" that goes along with the flu. But I can barely get myself to walk across a room. I normally can't take naps but I fall asleep constantly.
DeleteFortunately I'm already taking steroids [flexes both biceps].
If it doesn't get better in a few days I would get checked for mono! The exhaustion thing seems like a big indicator. Mono would suck because there is no treatment and it lasts for eternity, but at least you'd have a diagnosis!
DeleteYep. Exhaustion is indicative of mono... the test is very time specific, though. My daughter had it earlier this year. Because I'm a great mom, I sent her to school and (even worse) basketball for three weeks with it before we finally went to the doctor and got a dx. For those not in the know, basketball isn't just basketball-- it's a LOT of running and conditioning, such as running sprints. She told me today that, during that time, she would literally cry after running from feeling so miserable. The reason I finally took her to the doctor was because she said that she felt like she may be dying... which was so odd with the lack of any specific symptoms.
DeleteEli... the biggest "prescription' for her recovery was a LOT of rest. Give in to those naps... and I'm sorry. Mono stinks.
I was just thinking this morning that I needed a new episode to listen to when I work out after work - thanks so much for this!
ReplyDeletePlease let us know what you think!
DeleteFeedback - it's phenomenal.
DeleteAlso - it's reallllllly difficult to work a rowing machine when you're laughing.
I also had one in high school, I think my only symptom was extreme sleepiness. They decided it was “just a virus” and I had to “wait it out” and I was better in two weeks or so I think. But they ran all sorts of tests because when I say extreme sleepiness, i mean like actually extreme. I am generally a pretty sleepy person, so this was next level tired. Anyway, viruses be weird. The Amy Rose
ReplyDeleteY'all have done it again! Sorry you're feeling terrible Eli. I have every confidence in Duncan nursing you to back to health. Until then, I hope your find some rest.
ReplyDeleteI love The Suzzzzz. Great stories! Well, horrible stories, but she is a good, horrible story teller.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I mean.
"The Suzzzzz . . . is a . . . horrible story teller." Can we put your quote on the book jacket?
DeleteIf it gets me in print, use whatever you need. Sorry The Suzzzzzz, I just sold you out for fame. Yes I did.
DeleteThat's it kjax, you're dead to me.
DeleteCould be influenza or pneumonia - both make you feel like you've been hit by a MAC truck. Hope you get feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteI love the suzzzzzzz with every fiber of my being. This episode was SO funny. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteAwww I love you too Anonymous, whoever you are...unless you're my ex-husband, in which case I definitely DON'T love you.
DeleteI'll use my pseudo "I work in a hospital, therefore I can diagnose you" authority and say that you've caught the Flu. Even if you got a flu shot, it's super super nasty this year, and you're the 3rd person I've heard of this WEEK that has the flu. I'm sorry, stay home please, and feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteTake a shot of Apple Cider Vinegar. It goes down like whiskey. It will make you feel better. It fixes EVERYTHING, just like Windex.
ReplyDeleteIf you need something that tastes a better with apple cider vinegar in it, I recommend Kevita Sparkling Probiotic Drink, Lemon Ginger. The apple cider vinegar only leaves a faint aftertaste, but it's a very refreshing drink otherwise.
DeleteI can only assume you have diphtheria, I’m afraid to say.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2017/12/08/569462246/diphtheria-why-is-it-back-and-what-exactly-is-it?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=202908
"Essentially, it can choke a person on his own dead cells." Cue nightmares and horror movies with the magic school bus being stuck in the dead cells in its mission to heal Eli's body.
DeleteInteresting read. It's a good thing Eli isn't on the Oregon Trail, or he'd definitely be a goner.
I had Malaria for four days last week (according to Google). It was terrible.
ReplyDeleteThis episode is perfection!
ReplyDeleteWait, go back, I want to hear the story about guns and nudity!
ReplyDeleteThat’s what I thought, too! And thanks for your stories, the Suzzzz. I have a good friend from Logan, also divorced, and I am so tempted to ask if she has stories like this. She got remarried a few months ago to a blind date guy, though... Miracle?
DeleteAmy Rose I sort of think it's just me. Most of my single girlfriends either don't get asked out/set up at all, or the dates they go on are good...or more often marginally boring. I haven't been on an actual date in a while so maybe things have improved, I've sort of given up on the whole practice of dating. Although now this podcast is out NO ONE will want to date me, so there's that.
DeleteEh, don’t underestimate the appeal of fame. Think: how many seasons has the Bachelor been on?! But honestly, personally, I hated dating and was unfortunately more often than not the “bad date” myself. And I shouldn’t have put that in quotes because I was actually a bad date many times. So if anything ever happened to my husband (and we may have to compare dates, Meg, as I may have snagged the last good one...) I think I would just go single through whatever was left of my life. (And my husband rides his bike to work every day and I have the worst nightmares of accidents)
DeletePlus also, Who has the energy for dating anymore? Exhausting.
Excellent podcast, as per usual. Can I request that we do one on great dates? Or does no one want to hear sappy romance happily ever afters? What if it’s about a never been kissed 22 year old, on the Fourth of July on an island in Maine, at midnight with literal fireworks overhead and the sound of the ocean and the scent of lavender in the air... or something like that?
ReplyDeleteWill the Silicone Slopes allow you post a written copy of the podcast for the audibly impaired?
ReplyDelete