Sunday, April 15, 2018

Salt Lake Ghost Tour

Please enjoy The Suzzzz's Strangerville Live story above, and today's ghost story below.

Skylar's mom visited Salt Lake City this weekend. Skylar was trying to find things to do to entertain her and at some point he made the interesting choice to ask and rely on me and Jolyn for advice, to which Jolyn responded before he even finished the question "TAKE HER ON A GHOST TOUR OR DON'T BOTHER COMING HOME."

There's a company that does these ghost tours of the city and for years Jolyn and I have wanted to go, but we've just never gotten around to it. As we understood it, you buy a ticket and then someone takes you around town on a bus and tells you ghost stories about all of the old creepy buildings and at the end you belong to Satan.

Skylar immediately found a groupon for 4 people and signed us all up.

A busload of serial cigarette smokers was waiting for us downtown on Saturday night near Temple Square. We took our seats somewhere near the back and settled in as creepy music played over our heads.

Eventually a man stood up and began a sermon-like introduction about how this tour would make even the most skeptical skeptics question their disbeliefs. We felt this was directed at Mr. I Only Believe In Science Skylar.

Then we began a journey around our town, stopping at the City & County Building to hear about a ghost bride who haunts the people who work there today.

And a cemetery where it's rumored that Butch Cassidy is buried.

And some old mansion where something or other happened to somebody or other.

And Skylar took very seriously his duty to keep track of the ghost monitor that the guide had given him at the beginning of the tour, occasionally informing the group when there was some activity.

That's not Skylar's hand. I wish it was. But it's not. That hand belongs to one of the other people who was monitoring the ghost activity. Skylar does not paint his nails. 

And the guide either loved or hated us and that's pretty much par for the course for me and Jolyn.

Things were going relatively as expected. And THAT'S when the best possible thing happened.

We had stopped in front of an old train depot and the guide was telling us all about a ghost woman who looks through the windows and she wears a purple dress and if you say "bloody Mary" three times and step on a crack it's 7 years of bad luck or something, when suddenly, a man with long hair approached the group and began yelling to the guide "I have something you will want to know!"

The train station is in a sort of sketchy part of town, and the moment the guide saw this guy coming, I noticed that he dropped the act a little and began subtly directing people back to the bus. I don't know if this is because this man is a regular interrupter or if this spot typically sees these kinds of interruptions or what, but the guide clearly was not interested in ceding tour time to an unscripted speech.

But it was kind of too late because the man already started addressing the group, giving a very dramatic account of seeing the purple-dressed ghost woman JUST THE DAY BEFORE when he was walking by as the guide was side stepping a little closer to the bus, continuing to subtly direct people to it as well.

The story went on for several minutes and I was starting to lose interest a little when suddenly the man paused and then said, "you need to be careful. I am a medium. And ghosts follow certain people. And I just noticed that there are two Sensitives in this group."

Everyone froze.

You guys.

It was so confusing.

Did I want to be one of the Sensitives or not!?

And before I could decide, he pointed at me and Jolyn and said "you are the Sensitives. Be careful and God speed."

And you better believe Jolyn and I were the most popular people on the ghost tour for the rest of the night and you better believe that we reminded the group every 3 or 4 minutes that we were Sensitives and therefore authorities, and you better BELIEVE that we lectured Mr. I Don't Believe In Science every time he rolled his eyes for the remainder of the night.

I am so adding "Medium Certified Sensitive" to my resume.

And now, a story told live by none other than The SuzzzzzZzzzzz

This time in Strangerville, the Suzzzz takes the Strangerville Live stage to explain why she plans to die alone in a house full of cats.
Pass the Cats, by Suzanne Hickman (AKA, The Suzzzz)
Production by Eli McCann and Meg Walter

~It Just Gets Stranger


  1. "Everyone froze.

    You guys.

    It was so confusing.

    Did I want to be one of the Sensitives or not!?"

    GOLD. How are you hilarious and relatable at the same time?!

    Your writing is so compelling, interesting, and just well written that sometimes I feel like I'm stealing from you by reading it for free.

    1. Trying to decide if my sister could kill me from Africa for posting the comment I meant to post... maybe i will email it to her first and see if it passes her approval. Haha.

    2. Ditto. I actually laughed out loud.

    3. Amy - now you HAVE to post it!

    4. Here’s what happened: I got a text yesterday afternoon from my sister saying she was super excited for Eli to publish comments on his new post because she was totally fangirling. So I read the post, listened to the podcast (excellent both, Eli, nice work there, and Meg and the Suzzz too), and kept coming back all through the afternoon and evening to see if comments had been loaded. I kept wondering if the fangirling she gushed about had been in response to the ghost tour, or the cats of the Suzzz. Finally comments were published and I realized that my sister was fangirling over the, how shall I put this, wordsmithery of Eli Whittlesbottoms McCanYouDoIt YesWeCan. And as a fellow word aficionado, I fangirl right along with her. (This comment has been approved by Mimi, younger sister extraordinaire)

  2. The more you said the word RETWEET the weirder it sounded and by the end of that story I wanted to scream every time you said it. Also that voicemail was from my coworker Kareen. Don't blame google translate for slaughtering her name, I've been butchering it for 2 months, pretty sure she secretly hates me even though she is the world's nicest person.

    1. I was trying to use subliminal messages to get you to retweet me.

    2. You're dead to me. Also you need baking for lazy people. The recipe is: drive to Ruby Snap or Harmon's, buy the frozen Ruby Snap dough, bake it, it the cookies. It's all I have time for these days.

    3. Loved your story the Suzzzzzzzzz! And I also wanted to strangle that guy the whole time.

    4. Thanks Anonymous, I sort of wanted to strangle him the whole time too. And there's good niece's cat just had 7 kittens, so I should just adopt them all and complete the crazy cat lady transformation to ensure that I never go on another date again.

    5. The Suzzz - how . . . . why . . . . I just can't fathom . . . you have some awful friends :(

    6. I have friends who think I'm desperate and lonely, I'm not. I learned the hard way that there are worse things than being lonely. Better to be alone for the right reasons than with someone for all the wrong ones. Honestly where I live the dating pool is VERY shallow if you're over 30. Especially when you take into account that we have a relatively small population and I'm the 5th generation of my family to live yeah, I'm related to a LOT of people around here.

  3. In Savannah georgia you can take a nighttime ghost tour in a hearse. They basically cut the tops off these cars and put seats in the back. They drive you around town going to lots of creepy places. You can also byob or they’ll stop at the store to let you buy some!

  4. I walked right past your bus on Saturday! It caught my eye and I was so intrigued I stopped in my tracks! Perhaps I'm a Sensitve and I've got Purple Dress right behind me, guiding me, telling me what to say...