Sunday, September 29, 2019

Vows. Alternative Title: Ugly-Crying in Front of a Lot of People

By Skylar

I put off writing these vows, because I felt so much pressure. I mean, this is a gay wedding: the masses expect at least one uncomfortable musical number. And I wanted these vows to be perfect for you. They needed to be a mixture of funny, sweet, charming, clever, but totally cool and chill, because, to me, you are the perfect mixture of funny, sweet, charming, clever and totally cool and chill. You are an amazing person who brings so much joy and happiness and princess tiaras and Uintah Hiking and trips and wonderful stories into the lives of those around you. You deserve only the best vows.

Unfortunately, I am far from a perfect man or the perfect vow writer. Just this morning actually, I left the stove on. Yesterday, I left the car running in an enclosed space. I may be trying to kill us.

Regardless, I realized all of that doesn’t matter, because even after you have had to turn off the sink, which I left running all night (AGAIN), you still think I am a wonderful person. Even after we fight over the amount of times I play Dungeons and Dragons, which to you should be zero, you still tell me through tears that I am perfect. To be fair, you have cried thinking too hard about the ending to It’s a Wonderful Life, so the bar is low. 

I will not say that you make me a better man, (mostly because you explicitly told me that I am not allowed to put that in my vows). Instead, I will say that, even if I am not perfect, or if these vows are kind of cheesy, or if my jokes sound like they were stolen from a sassy baby-boomer, you always make me feel like the best draft of myself.
*****


By Eli

The first word I said to you was “shalom.” I was trying to be clever.

The first thing you said to me was, “with a greeting like that, how can I Passover you.” You were actually clever.

I found out quickly after that this would be a pattern for our relationship. Me trying, you succeeding, and somehow satisfied with me just trying.

You were patient and calm as I worked through my stubbornness and anxieties caused by a fear that two people on opposite ends of the country could never really build a life together.

You were the dreamer and I was the pragmatist. You somehow knew things would work out just fine.

Eventually I learned to plant my pragmatism in your dreaming, deciding that your faith and enviable ability to find success were enough of an assurance for me.

Over the next few years I got to know you. I learned you were kind, sometimes to the point that people take advantage of you. I learned you were smart, but still somehow not smart enough to remember to turn off the stove before you leave the house. I learned you were funny, even if not great at telling a story. I learned you were thoughtful, once to the point that you sent me on a month-long scavenger hunt through an entire city so I could collect notes about how much you appreciated me. I learned you were a hard-worker, except when I need help in the yard. I learned you were very good at karaoke by being so bad at it.

I learned you were truly the best person on this planet. No qualification. No hyperbole. Just, actually, the best person.

As soon as I learned that, I knew that no matter how pragmatic and stubborn and anxious I might be, I couldn’t Passover you either.



~It Just Gets Stranger

39 comments:

  1. I almost ugly cried! Thank you for sharing with the stranger community.

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  2. Congratulations you two!! May you be blessed with a long and happy life together!

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  3. What an amazingly beautiful picture of two amazingly beautiful people! May you have much happiness and a long life together. Thanks for sharing this special day with your Stranger family.

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  4. Thank you for sharing that part of your special day with us.

    No objections from me! I wish you all the best.

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  5. Ditto to all that's been said and all that will likely be said after I post this.

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  6. These vows were absolutely perfect. Love you two so much! It was a beautiful day and I am beyond happy for both of you!

    Krishelle

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  7. Oh thank goodness it ended I can't cry BEFORE I get to school...I only cry AT school, Eli!

    Congratulations, both of you wrote beautiful vows and I hope you continue to have a beautiful life together

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  8. ZOMG! Thank you so much for sharing these with us! And super-duper congratulations!

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  9. You didn’t get married in a couples snuggie??

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  10. "I learned to plant my pragmatism in your dreaming." What a beautiful line and a beautiful couple.

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  11. Skylar is a really good writer! No wonder you two get along. I was ugly crying before I even got to the end of his. This must have been so beautiful for everyone to hear you two read these. Love.

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  12. So incredibly happy for you both. Also, please tell us where you got married, because some of us in Salt Lake might need wedding venue ideas ;)

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  13. That was beautiful!!! Dammit, I'm crying.

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  14. Beautiful words from beautiful people! Congratulations!

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  15. That was amazing. Totally ugly crying. Congratulations!

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  16. I just ugly cried at work. People are staring at me and I don't care.

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  17. We, the collective We, your internet family, are so happy for you! I remember when you first started mentioning your "friend" Skylar. And how he had so many airline miles and hotel points. I hope you take an amazing honeymoon somewhere fun! Hurray!

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  18. Beautiful! Congrats to Dr. and Mr. Perfect Hair.

    Also, Dungeons and Dragons is awesome. I played last night while you guys did wedding stuff. So really, who had a better day?

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  19. The last wedding I went to was in Belgium. The entire ceremony was in French, a language I do not speak. So I sat there, the lone American in the audience, watching two of my friends professing their love for each other, recognizing the motions but not the words. When the groom read his vows, he got so emotional he choked up. It was the most beautiful moment, because I knew as clearly as everyone else just how much he loved his bride.

    I get the same vibe with you and Skylar. This time I can read and confirm the love though. 😍

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  20. I am so stinking happy for you two! Beautiful vows. Love wins!

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  21. "you always make me feel like the best draft of myself" just beautiful. Thanks for sharing your beautiful vows with us Strangers.

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  22. Congratulations to you both!!! I’m not crying, you’re crying!!!

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  23. Wonderful vows! "I learned to plant my pragmatism in your dreaming"-this is so great! I have often described my husband and I as 'I keep his feet on the ground and he keeps my head in the clouds', as we have that same dynamic of pragmatic(me-overly so at times) and him(the dreamer, entrepreneur). Congrats to you both!

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  24. Thank you for sharing with your Stranger audience so we could cry happy tears for you, too :). Congratulations!

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  25. So happy for you both!

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  26. 🤩😍😍🥰😢😭😭😭😭😭🤗


    So Happy for you two!!

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  27. I love weddings, thank you so much for sharing yours with all of us. I'm so glad it happened after all the stress of planning. Congratulations on finding each other. I wish you all the best married life has to offer.

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  28. So so happy for you both! Grateful you shared this with us all- hoping you have a splendid honeymoon and a lifetime of joy.
    Gretchen

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  29. Honeymooning in Palau?

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  30. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you two! <3

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  31. Congratulations! Can't wait for more stories & pictures from the big day! And your hair looks more fabulous then usual.

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  32. Well, I knew it. I would regret not being there to see the two of you celebrate each other and create a new family together with all the legal justice of the peace stuff (or whatever his /her credentials were). Everyone is being brave with all the festivities outside..the whole globe has been having weird and unpredictable weather and I think we all have done a lot of hoping and praying for good weather for these festivities we've had this year. Can't wait to see what fair-weather surprises we get for October 19th. : )
    Your vows were beautiful, guys. Honest, funny, romantic, joyful. I hope you enjoyed every second. Ugly crying in front of a lot of people is what I missed the most..Love, Love, Love.

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  33. Great, now I have something in both eyes. Those were lovely and full of love. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations and hugs and love from this lurking Stranger.

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  34. Seriously. So lovely. Congratulations!

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  35. You and skylar are pretty much the only couple who make me believe true love/good people exist. Congrats!

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