Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Daniel Searches for His Clothes

Eli: Excuse me. What are you doing?

Daniel: I'm going through your closet.

Eli: And why would you be doing something like that?

Daniel: Because I want my clothes back.

Eli: What on Earth makes you think that I would have your clothes in my closet?

Daniel: Because I've seen pictures of you on Facebook in the last six months and you are wearing something of mine in probably half of them.

Eli: Absurd! I only wear my own clothes!

Daniel: Well then you shouldn't be concerned about me looking around.

Eli: Concerned?! 'COURSE NOT! Look all you want. See if I care. Look everywhere--WAIT NOT IN THERE!

[Eli throws himself in front of the door Daniel has just approached]

Daniel: You don't want me to open this closet? Why not?!

Eli: Because there's a surprise birthday present in there for you, ok?!

Daniel: No. You aren't thoughtful or responsible enough to have a birthday present for someone three months in advance. Try again.

Eli: Um . . . This closet is condemned. Because of evil spirits. And science. Wait. Just because of science. Not because of evil spirits.

Daniel: "Science" is not more believable than evil spirits.

Eli: Oh. Good. Because I meant fumigation. That closet is being fumigated.

Daniel: Oh really? Please explain to me the process of fumigation and what you are fumigating for.

Eli: . . . can I go back to "science?"

[Daniel pushes Eli out of the way and opens the closet door]

Daniel: A-HA! My shirt! Two of my shirts! THREE of my shirts!

Eli: I can explain! I was young! I needed the money!

Daniel: Eli! There are more than TEN shirts in here that belong to me!

Eli: Well anything sounds bad when you say it like that, Daniel. See. Listen to how that tone ruins this phrase: "Eli, your hair looks SO good today--" no actually that still sounds nice--

Daniel: Why do you have pants in here that belong to me?! You can't even wear my pants! I'M OVER HALF A FOOT TALLER THAN YOU!

Eli: Well I like to tie blocks to my feet and walk around the streets like one of those people on the Vegas strip who--

Daniel: YOU'VE NEVER DONE THAT!

Eli: WELL IT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE PLANS TO, DANIEL. I HAVE DREAMS, TOO!

Daniel: Oh, you have got to be kidding me. You have GOT to be kidding me.

Eli: What?

Daniel: Why do you have several pairs of my underwear in this closet?

Eli: Ok. You can have the pants back, but please don't take those. I'm all out of clean underwear and these backup pairs really help in a bind when I'm between manipulable friends who do my laundry for me.

Daniel: YOU ACTUALLY WEAR THESE!? I JUST ASSUMED YOU DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE IN HERE!

Eli: Oh. I meant, that. Yes. That's what I meant. WHAT?! I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR UNDERWEAR WAS IN HERE!!!

Daniel: This is unbelievable.

Eli: Ok. But to be fair, this is because you were irresponsible and left a lot of your things in Palau. What was I supposed to do? Just leave it there?

Daniel: Oh really?

Eli: Yes, really.

Daniel: Then why are you wearing a shirt right now that I brought here on this trip and had packed in my bag until you dug it out this morning.

Eli: . . . you knew what I was when you picked me up.

~It Just Gets Stranger

23 comments:

  1. My husband always says that last line to me.

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  2. So the REAL reason comes out on why Daniel wanted to do your 6 months of laundry! But Eli seriously.....his underwear...

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  3. How does he know it's his underwear? It all looks the same! I can barely tell mine from my husband's.

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    1. ....what? What the heck kind of underwear does your husband, or you, wear that they look the same?!!?

      O_o

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    2. Haha fantastic.

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    3. Stopher probably wear's "thongs" too.

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    4. LOL...best answer goes to...Anonymous #2. :D

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    5. 'Magic' underwear?

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    6. This post was more revealing than Eli intended I guess. Garments or not, these two are the best!

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    7. Ha. I do have a sizable collection of athletic underwear. It was a pile of this kind of underwear that I use for running and biking that Daniel discovered in the closet.

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  4. Oh to be a fly on the wall.

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  5. That's really not fair. You can wear Daniel's pants. You just have to roll them up about a foot. Daniel is being super unreasonable.

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  6. How can Daniel honestly say anything about this situation is unreasonable? It's like he doesn't even know you.

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  7. I'm with Eli on this one. Finder's keepers, obvi.

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  8. I wish you could have seen the GIANT grin I had on my face the entire time I read this post.

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    1. Yes! Me too! The fact that Eli does not have a roommate to 'borrow' clothes from anymore scares me

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  9. You two are the perfect couple. Have you considered that?

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    1. Seriously! You two need to make it official. All in favor of Eli and Daniel officially becoming our favorite Blog couple, please raise your hands.

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  10. HiLARious.

    My husband has a brother like this, except without great hair. Every time we see him, he's wearing one of my husband's shirts. That my husband wore ONCE. I'd go through his closet now and then on reconnaissance, but I think he keeps all his clothes on the floor of the bedroom in various piles, so it's not worth it.

    I've seen him actually grab husband's shirt and look at the tag in the collar and go "Cool shirt. Is this my size?"

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  11. Eli, your hair looks so fantastic today. Don't be bothered by the small stuff like clothes sharing and the weird underwear thing! I mean, gosh, Daniel could go shopping or something....... :-p

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