Sunday, May 12, 2019

ZionSSSS

I had a work conference in St. George Utah this weekend, which should have been a hate crime since I was there one week ago for the half Ironman. You want to know what's worse than driving through Filmore Utah in one week?

Doing it twice.

No offense to Fillmore. But if you live there, you know it's not a tourist destination.

By the way, years ago Fillmore had this giant billboard along the freeway that said "YOU HAVE FRIENDS IN FILLMORE." This started a very long habit of my sister Krishelle, who is one of the top three funniest sisters of all time, telling members of my family, "no matter how bad it gets, you always have your friends in Fillmore" whenever anyone was having a hard day.

Skylar and I decided to go to Zion National Park, or as it's known in Utah, "ZIONS," on Saturday morning for some hiking.

I forced him to get up at eleventy o'clock because the last time I went to ZionS, it was so crowded on the main hikes that I got gonorrhea just from the shuttle ride into the park.

That year it was so bad that we couldn't finish a couple of the hikes we had started because we were wall-to-wall with The People of the World who had come to visit our beautiful national park.


Years ago Utah decided that the best thing it could do was to run this "Big Five" campaign where it vociferously advertised our five national parks so people from every country would come pee on them. Well, the campaign was successful, which is awesome because it means that a lot of people have gotten to see these really exceptional places some of us grew up visiting in solitude, but also it's not awesome because these places are now so crowded that I get gonorrhea just for visiting them on Saturdays.

NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT SATURDAYS ARE.

So we got to the park at negative eleventy o'clock and there were already so many people hiking the main trails that Zion is now technically a Costco. But we ventured on anyway, hiking Angel's Landing, which includes a truly harrowing segment where you hang onto chains because of the 1,000-foot drop-offs on both sides.

Because the entire world population was all on this trail at once (it was so good to see you all!) this was even more dangerous than usual, but we managed to survive it and make it to the summit, which was breathtaking.


On our way down there were somehow even MORE people on the trail. I know I told you the entire population of the Earth was there on our hike to the summit. I guess I'm telling you that people from alien planets started to show up by 10:00 AM.

Nonetheless, it was a wonderful day.

Also, please don't visit our national parks. They are terrible and you'll probably get rabies.

Pics from Skylar's phone:








My adorable little grandma with her gas station hat.

And now, please enjoy a truly delightful story from Shelby Hintze on this week's Jonas Brothers themed Strangerville.


This time in Strangerville, Meg feels very conflicted about how to deal with her mice infestation, Eli thinks he’s famous, and a woman proudly relives the lengths she went in pursuit of her Jonas Brothers fandom.
Story
Jonesing for Jonas, by Shelby Hintze
Production by Eli McCann & Meg Walter


~It Just Gets Stranger

23 comments:

  1. Skyler's third picture down: whose face is that on the left, in the rock? Jesus? George Washington? Are you getting other worldly visors from Paul Simon? Someone sees it, right?

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    1. Whoa. There IS totally a face lurking there. Ha, it made me think of the Marley brother ghost in the show Muppet's Christmas Carol, because I guess I'm still thinking about that . . .

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    2. This actually made me scream a little.

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    3. I can't see the face!?!?!?! Am I blind????

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    4. I just finally saw it after staring for three minutes and now I'm freaked out.

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    5. Maybe it's the owner looking for his lost cow in pic #6.

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  2. OH MY GOOOOOOD!!! WTF!!!!!!

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  3. Skylar* and visits* Ugh! Stupid auto correct 😒

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  4. The first time it was "Filmore," and then you wrote "Fillmore," and then I thought that each time you would FILL in MORE Ls, and I would see "Filllmore," but nope.

    Zion is truly a beautiful park. Those are some amazing pics.

    Love the gas station hat. Good job, Skylar, on protecting your beautiful skin!

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    Replies
    1. I need to hire you a writing consultant.

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    2. I can’t stop laughing about this. I so badly want to say “you can hire me to be Mimi’s writing consultant, if you can afford me, that is.”

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    3. I can’t stop laughing about this. I so badly want to say “you can hire me to be Mimi’s writing consultant, if you can afford me, that is.” (Because paranoid about my comments getting through, Amy Rose as anonymous, again)

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    4. Eli, I can't decide if that was a dig or a compliment. Do I need a writing consultant, or do you?? Hmmm

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    5. Well that was supposed to say "I need to hire you as my writing consultant."

      This obviously proves that I need one.

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    6. Well, the thousands of Strangers who enjoy reading your blog disagree. Right away, Eli, write away!

      We love the stories you tell.

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  5. "Don't yuck other people's yums!"

    I. LOVE. IT!

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  6. I organize a lot of bus trips for my job. I have one bus driver I use often who loves Fillmore. Why? because the Maverick has 14 bathroom stalls in each restroom!!! which makes sense a bus driver has got to know where to make the bathroom breaks.

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    Replies
    1. Tis a very important source of knowledge. Also, if your bus trips ever extend to Texas, he'll be glad to know the Buccee's had plenty of clean bathroom stalls.

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  7. Shelby is lovely. I really enjoyed her story, as a fellow Jonatic.

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  8. I listened to the podcast again this morning because I enjoyed it so much. I'm going to seriously date myself here - I'm a Blockhead. That's what they called us teeny-bopper fans of New Kids on the Block.

    I really appreciated the Harry Styles (I think I spelled that right) quote she shared. Because in my teenage years when MY walls were covered with NKOTB and I had all kinds of NKOTB gear - my much older brother (think - fan of Pink Floyd when Pink Floyd was new) mocked me and ridiculed me for comparing their fan base to the Beatles. He repeatedly said they had no staying power. But I'm a full-grown adult and I'm not ashamed to say I'm STILL a Blockhead. I've seen them in concert three times as an adult. 30+ years later - they still sell out concerts. How's that for staying power?

    Don't yuck my yum ;)

    Don't yuck my yum ;).

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