Sleeping in Mexico

I mentioned yesterday that by the time we got to Mexico on Friday, I hadn't slept for a few days. Between working through the night and traveling and listening to Daniel update me on the last several months of his VERY ODD life, I was a total zombie.

We checked into the hotel on Friday afternoon and immediately went out to eat and wander the streets a bit and try our darndest to pick up a new version of ringworm since Axel left too soon a few months ago.

One of the reasons we wanted to go to Rosarito, specifically, was to check out the surprisingly nice art scene and to hopefully come away with a couple of paintings. Daniel and I looked at every piece in the town and listened to the life stories of every artist and fought over every contemplated purchase until finally threatening and blackmailing one another sufficiently to make our final selections. This is a scene we've practiced together in about half a dozen countries across the world now. And we've become very proficient at it.

And Then We Went To Mexico

This weekend I went on a magical journey to the land of tortillas. Many wonderful things happened. But I'll just cut to the chase and give the people what they want.

This guy was there:

Twenty Years Later, a Valentine's Confession

Happy Valentine's Day weekend.

When I was in the fourth grade I brought Power Ranger Valentines to school to give to everyone in my class. I don't know why I did this because for some reason I generally tried to hide my love of the Power Rangers. This was because even at age ten I knew that it was shameful that I got up at 6:00 in the morning to watch essentially the exact same story-line play out EVERY DAY.

Also, I still know the order of the dinosaurs when the Power Rangers would call out the mechanical beasts to finish the fight. LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST DONE AT THE BEGINNING WHEN THEY HAD TO FIGHT AN ENTIRE ARMY OF STORM-TROOPERS. Or whatever the Hell those things were called.

There was a treat inside each envelope, included with the Power Ranger cards. Cathie helped me prepare these the night before. Unfortunately something "happened" to ALL 30 treats on my two-block walk to school that morning.

The 2014 Worst Things Ever

Somehow in January I totally forgot to give you the annual "Worst Things Ever" list. It's like I wasn't even focused on complaining last month. What was I doing? Reading books and enjoying the weather?

Hahahaha. I couldn't even say that with a straight face.

The 2014 Worst Things Ever

1. Glee

2. When you have an itch on a hard-to-reach place on your back and nobody on the bus will help you

Pictures of Food EVERYWHERE

I have a new "what the kids are doing" to tell you about. There's this brand new thing that must have just started like within the last two months or something where you go onto what the kids are calling "the Internets" and you post pictures of yourself and your food. I don't know why they are doing this and I can only assume it's all about drugs and sex and it is for those reasons but I decided I should probably investigate it and find out what's going on so that you all won't be in the dark anymore.

It's called "the Instagram." And despite its VERY MISLEADING name, this is not a cookie that you get to eat instantly. I have been hearing people talk about this for a while and it piqued my interest much more when I thought it was a cookie.

"Eli, you should TOTALLY get Instagram."

"Instagram is the bomb.com."

Full House Reunion

Val: [Sounding annoyed] Ugh. I heard that they are thinking of doing a Full House reunion show and--

Eli: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! WHEN?! HOW LONG?!? IS EVERYONE GOING TO BE THERE??!? WHAT ABOUT AUNT BECKY AND THE TWINS?!

Val: Oh. You're excited about this?

Eli: AND WHAT ABOUT KIMMY GIBBLER?!?!? OH MY GOSH WHATABOUTKIMMYGIBBLER!?!?!

Val: I guess I don't need to pretend to not be excited. I was going to feel it out with you first. I will TOTALLY be watching it if it actually happens.

Eli: Oh, honey. I will cancel everything that could possibly be happening in my life just to catch the previews of it on television.

Pictures from my Phone & Weekly Distractions

Around this time of year it starts to feel like summer isn't a thing that ever happens. The distant memories of running in the grass barefoot, visiting the Farmers' Market, and not crying because of the snow start to seem like a dream. In Ukrainian the word for February is "Lyutiy" which means "fierce." I've had enough of fierce lately. Somebody get me a bucket of ice cream. And Paul Simon. If it's not too much trouble.

And now, your pictures and distractions.

My sister Krishelle and my niece Kamree. Happy birthday to Krishelle this week. She's the best sister you could ask for. And I once saw her kill a black widow with her fist.

YOU GUYS BROKE YOUR PROMISE!

I think I made a terrible mistake.

You guys. I made a TERRIBLE mistake!

Remember when I tried to do an Ironman that one time? Remember how it did not work out very well? Remember how I sacrificed my life for the cause and for six months I was always either undergoing self-inflicted water-boarding in the pool or lying on a flat surface sucking on a mouth-full of melting therapy ice cream, crying? Remember how right after the Ironman we had this conversation?:

Eli: NEVER AGAIN!

You Guys: Eli, we are so sorry for your loss!

Daniel and Eli Text about the Super Bowl

*Note: The Dillon Panthers reference is from Friday Night Lights. The greatest television program of all time.

The Dentist Picture

About 14 years ago my younger sister Micalyne and I received a letter in the mail that would change our lives forever. It was December and Christmas cards from all over the world were arriving at the McCann home, mostly addressed to Bob and Cathie. Micalyne and I were 14 and 16 at the time, respectively, and neither of us were in the business of sending or receiving Christmas cards ourselves.

That's why it was with confusion that we, together, opened what looked to be a Christmas card addressed to the two of us.

We were correct that it was a Christmas card. But we were also sorely let down because this Christmas card was from our dentist. It included a professionally-shot photograph of the male dentist and the many female assistants that worked with him.