Hahahaha. I couldn't even say that with a straight face.
The 2014 Worst Things Ever
1. Glee
3. Driving in the snow
4. When you accidentally swallow a fruit snack right after you put it in your mouth
5. Training for an Ironman
6. That Paul Simon is on tour right now and I'm not with him
7. That Downton Abbey doesn't have 1200 episodes in each season
8. When an unknown number calls your phone and you're expecting an important call from an unknown number so you have to answer it
9. The way your clothes smell after walking anywhere near a Subway restaurant
10. Laundry
11. The Queen of Colors
12. February
13. Chewing raw spinach
14. Awake/awoken/woken up. WHICH IS IT?!
15. Living in the same city as Jolyn on April Fools' Day
16. When you start dating someone and then find out they have a cat
17. Watching a movie with your parents that you didn't know was going to be chock full of sexual innuendo
18. When Cathie asks you to explain half of the sexual innuendo in said movie and then follows up your very tame explanation with an exasperated "AND HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, YOUNG MAN?!" And you're almost 30.
10. Laundry
11. The Queen of Colors
12. February
13. Chewing raw spinach
14. Awake/awoken/woken up. WHICH IS IT?!
15. Living in the same city as Jolyn on April Fools' Day
16. When you start dating someone and then find out they have a cat
17. Watching a movie with your parents that you didn't know was going to be chock full of sexual innuendo
18. When Cathie asks you to explain half of the sexual innuendo in said movie and then follows up your very tame explanation with an exasperated "AND HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, YOUNG MAN?!" And you're almost 30.
19. The old woman who keeps setting the heat to 90 degrees in the lobby of my apartment building
20. Doodling on a document at work that you didn't realize you were going to have to give back to a superior
21. The fact that every time I walk by a dumpster I feel like Leotrix is going to jump out at me
22. When people use "twice up the barrel, once down the side" incorrectly (just kidding! Not even possible! You guys looked so twice up the barrel, once down the side though for a second!)
23. When you sit on a cushioned seat in a public place and find out it's damp
24. When someone delivers really tragic news and you feel the uncontrollable urge to smile or laugh just because you know that this would be the most inappropriate time to smile or laugh
25. Smelling like campfire
Ok, your turn. Let's hear it. Your 2014 Worst Things Ever addition.
~It Just Gets Stranger
20. Doodling on a document at work that you didn't realize you were going to have to give back to a superior
21. The fact that every time I walk by a dumpster I feel like Leotrix is going to jump out at me
22. When people use "twice up the barrel, once down the side" incorrectly (just kidding! Not even possible! You guys looked so twice up the barrel, once down the side though for a second!)
23. When you sit on a cushioned seat in a public place and find out it's damp
24. When someone delivers really tragic news and you feel the uncontrollable urge to smile or laugh just because you know that this would be the most inappropriate time to smile or laugh
25. Smelling like campfire
Ok, your turn. Let's hear it. Your 2014 Worst Things Ever addition.
~It Just Gets Stranger
Smelling like a campfire is the BEST thing in the world!!!!!!!!! And I think it's chock, not chuck full of things.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I seem to be struggling extra this week.
DeleteI agree that smelling like a campfire is great... for a little while. At first it's nice because you're like I smell like summer and happy times! Then you sit in the scent for hours and it becomes more like I smell like I haven't taken a shower in a month and I have a hardcore smoking problem.
DeleteCampfire is my favorite smell! Literally. Evey time I get near a campfire I try to disk my hoodie in the glorious Smell of it, and then I refuse to wash that hoodie for at least a month...
DeleteCampfire is an awesome smell. Until half of Colorado catches on fire and it smells like campfire every day except that instead of being a fun memory, it's people's houses burning down.
DeleteWorst thing: After camping when all your snot is black with dirt.
DeleteI was forced to go to Subway on Monday by my coworkers and for the rest of the day I smelled like my clothes had been left sitting in the washer too long. Worst ever.
ReplyDeleteFebruary is a beautiful month... Angels sang on the 22nd to be exact.
ReplyDeleteLet me be the first to add the Kardashians to the list. Let's just get them out of the way early this year.
ReplyDeleteAMEN!
DeleteAnd their psychotic protégé Justin Bieber
Delete1.when you HAVE to use a Walmart bathroom/ Walmart TP,
ReplyDelete2. when your MAC cord gets caught in the legs of your chair, so you have to use the kids stupid PC to read your favorite blog and the popup blocker does not work and it keeps opening up new windows,
3. when not only do your water pipes freeze but your pipes leading to your septic freeze harder so even when you have water in most of the house you can not get the water to leave your house, but you do not know this is a problem until both toilets in your house over flow with the most vile poo water ever and the same water backs up into your bathtubs and shower. and you have tried everything to fix it but nothing works but you hope mother nature will take care of it, and in the mean time you a doing your "business" in a camp toilet you made out of a 5 gallon bucket, foam stuff, and trash-bags filled with sand and sprinkled with essential oils.
4. run on sentences
I want to give you a "like" (But Eli STILL hasn't made that possible, even though I have asked an gazillion times). Plus I want to invite you over to let you use my bathroom.
DeleteWendi, if someone can tell me how to do that, I will GLADLY make that change. I'm not sure if Blogger has that option. I've never seen it . . .
DeleteAlso that prove you're not a robot thing on the comments. I hate that.
DeleteAlso that after entering the text to prove that I'm not a robot it doesn't let me know if I passed or not. What if I am?!
DeleteJanuary. Just January.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I already am falling into a deep depression because last week was Episode 6 of Downton Abbey and....why do they only make a few episodes of this SHOW?! :(
Meg
Because it's British? Pretty much all of their series are only 6-8 episodes long.
DeleteDr. Who is a notable exception.
DeleteI, too, am saddened by the ending of Sherlock and Downton Abbey, but if it's any consolation, The Amazing Race starts on the 22nd, so we have that to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteOops. I meant the 23rd. Whatever.
Deleteohhh Sherlock I do miss him :(
DeleteMarried guys that go to singles' events.
ReplyDeletecreepy
DeleteGlee only made the list once? You must be coming around, Eli. Admit it, you're secretly watching it aren't you?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you mentioned #16. Now I know not to let you know about the cats until after we're married. Wait, what? What cats, I don't have any cats. Your hair looks so good today, Eli! Paul Simon!
Miley Cyrus
ReplyDeleteAMEN.
DeleteI second that AMEN!!!
DeleteMiley Cyrus licking a sledge hammer
Delete1. blog comments.
ReplyDelete2. lists.
3. irony.
the sample table running out of samples right when you walk up to it and you have to either walk away empty-handed and sad or stand there and wait, feeling like an idiot.
ReplyDeleteThe WORST
Delete(#22 just reminded me): Yesterday I decided to search "Eli McCann" and "itjustgetsstranger" on Pinterest. The results included some links to the Snuggie Texts, a very nice picture of Eli's face, and a really dramatic looking picture of text that said "'Twice up the barrel, once down the side.' -E.M."
ReplyDeleteOh, and there was also a picture of the Queen of Colors
Delete1. You don't realize your stall is out of toilet paper until after you've already gone to the bathroom.
ReplyDelete2. Silent death farts on first dates.
3. Vegemite.
4. Someone who buys popcorn to share at the movies, then doesn't share.
5. When you've collected a whole cave of whose-it's and whatsits, only to have your dad get mad and destroy it.
The best:
1. Birthday powerpoint presentations filled with squirrels in clothes.
2. Taxidermy.
#5 - hahahahaha! You mermaid you!
DeleteWorst things...
ReplyDelete1- Going to WalMart, especially on Saturday afternoon
2- Unfulfilled chocolate promises (I'm looking at you, Tootsie Rolls!)
3- Church basketball
-Sharing a public hot tub with super smelly individuals. It might be called People Soup.
ReplyDelete-January (it's way worse than February, because it has 3 more days)
-Televised football
-Being set up on a blind date, after having been told how great you'd be with this other individual, and when you meet him he's actually kind of a creep, and you try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he keeps doing and saying uncomfortable and douchey things...and then at the end of the night when you're finally (FINALLY!) home, you can't help but think: "Dammit, they thought we'd be great together. What must they think of me?!"
-Kind of fake-complaining out loud about a dumb ailment, or something that is only slightly irritating unto you, then finding out later that the person you griped to is actually going through something difficult and REAL, and you're left feeling like a fool and a creep.
-Discovering, late at night, that you're wearing your last pair of underwear, so you have to start a batch of laundry, and you have to stay up late enough to put the wash into the dryer so that you can have clean, DRY underwear in the morning. (Note to self: start whites when you go home for lunch!)
-Smelling like food.
Televized baseball is way worse
DeleteI agree So much with the last one. And my dryer never actually gets things fully dry the first try to I have to stay up even later or wake up periodically.
Delete10 month deployments...
ReplyDeleteThank you! This is the only one that is a genuine "worst thing" and NOT just grown people WHINING!!!
DeleteMy Worst:
ReplyDelete1. When people ask your hobbies and you're like, umm, do TV and eating ice cream count?
2. North West. The baby, not the direction. The fact that I have to clarify that says it all. Is it wrong to hate a baby? (Yes, I know it is.)
3. When people want to try my food. MY food. Not OUR food.
My new Best:
1. The Book of Mormon play - have you seen this? It's really, really funny. Hopefully not offensive but I'm not sure. I thought of you the whole time. But not in a creepy way, I promise. More of a twice up the barrel, once down the side way. Mainly because you're the only Mormon I "know."
The Book of Mormon play: Read the book, its way better.
Delete1. Tinder
ReplyDelete2. The fact that seemingly everyone is using Tinder, even your friends who you thought had more intelligence than that
3. See numbers 1 & 2
1. Getting about 5,000 inches of snow this year, being threatened with 6" - 22" more, and your roof, which is less than 3 years old, is leaking AGAIN (for the 5th time since it's been replaced,) and the roofer refuses to come out and fix it, even though you have 2 2 foot holes in your bedroom ceiling and water pouring in, and the douche canoe keeps giving excuses as to why he won't come out. (I'm just a little bitter about this.)
ReplyDelete2. When you want to make something for dinner/bake something, and you get everything together and are missing one little thing that you swore you had, but, sadly, don't.
3. When you think your sweet little girl is coming over to snuggle with you, and she lets out an SBD that could knock a fly off a pile of crap, and then laughs at you (yeah, real sweet.)
4. The Walking Dead...or anything to do with zombies...or vampires.
5. Waiting almost an entire year for a new movie or book that you REALLY want to see/read to come out.
6. Angry Birds telepods.
7. People (supposedly adults) who can't have an adult conversation without throwing a hissy fit and resorting to name calling.
8. Basketball
Hahaha "douche canoe?!"
DeleteI love it! I may have to steal that!
LOL, it's one of my favorite insults. :-) My friend and I call people that all the time.
DeleteThere is nothing wrong with February! It has a holiday and my birthday, and sometimes they're even on the same day!
ReplyDeleteAlso, completely agree with #1. The only time I've been glad that my alarm clock went off I was having a nightmare that I was in an episode of Glee. I immediately thought of you.
Being pregnant and then catching that awful cold that everyone has had with the cough that doesn't go away for FIVE weeks and you can't take anything good to stop it.
ReplyDeleteI will add to that and say Morning Sickness is by far the worst thing in my world right now. Being pregnant is supposed to be a good thing right?
DeleteIt *is* a good thing-- but that doesn't make it a FUN thing! Good luck to you!
DeleteBeing pregnant SUCKS! It's straining the relationship I'm supposed to be forming with the creature growing inside of me...
DeleteTrying to keep your pregnancy private/secretive then having some big mouth outing you on a mass email, spilling every single detail.
DeleteI was expecting the worst 2,014 things evah!
ReplyDeleteI haz a disappoint.
Sinus headaches. And trying to work while dealing with sinus headaches.
ReplyDeleteAwakened
ReplyDelete#1. Living in Singapore
ReplyDelete#2. living in Singapore and the a/c is out and won't be repaired for 2 weeks.
#3. Sweaty-ness all the time.
#4. No good yarn or crafting stores.
#5. Being hot ALL THE TIME.
Wait... don't you love cats? I'm confused...
ReplyDeleteI just have to say thank you for the Subway one.. I thought I was the only one who noticed this problem. There's a subway in the Wal Mart here and every time I have to run to the store, I smell like Subway for the day.
ReplyDeleteFlappy Bird
ReplyDeletePeople who play Flappy Bird
The guy who came up with Flappy Bird
I tried to go onto your website yesterday and my work blocked it as "suspicious". This was after the Full House post the other day. I can't believe that was what triggered it!
ReplyDeleteYes to the Subway bread smell.
ReplyDeleteAnd YES to #24. When my friend was in a fatal accident I started laughing. It really is the worst thing ever.
When people ask a question in their fb status that could be answered in like 1/10th a second if they googled it.
ReplyDeleteWhen prescription co pays are flat yet your doctor calls in way less than you need so instead of paying $300 for the meds you are now up to $900 in ten days!!!
ReplyDeleteThe attorney you work for only responds to your emails about work with links to buzzfeed articles about cats and not about work.
ReplyDeletewait...that was kind of cool
Oh... And moving
ReplyDeleteI am AWAKE
ReplyDeleteI have AWOKEN
I was WOKEN UP
(the last 2 are interchangeable)
http://www.grammar.com/awake-awaken-wake-waken/
DeleteOur language is weird.
1. When a friend that reads SO much slower than you feels the need to read everything on the internet out loud to you, when you could read it quickly and silently.
ReplyDelete2. When you start to read a really good novel and love it but find out it's actually part of a series so now you have to buy the rest.
3. Getting to the end of the series and actually having to wait for them to come out with the rest.
4. Having a stuffy nose and not knowing whether you smell really awful or if it's just your messed up olfactory senses.
5. Trying to sit down on the loo after working out (legs) the night before.
6. Books are expensive.
7. Not being able to get a job because you're so young and have zero experience so that no one wants to hire you. And then you don't have money for more books.
8. Public school friends treating you like you don't understand how awful school is because you're home schooled. Um, excuse me. I know what it's like to have to complete home work at three in the morning. Yes, I have pulled all nighters doing school. Yes, I cram for tests. I have to take my GED, ACT, and SAT just like the rest of you.
9. Talking on the phone.
10. Knowing you have a voice mail but putting off listening to it but then you finally do and it just says 'Hey call me back.'
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWorst Things Ever. As requested. http://heffordsblog.blogspot.com/2014/02/2014-worst-things-ever.html
ReplyDelete#17 --> My sister, brother-in-law and I once rented "Primal Fear" to watch with my dad. My staunch, Southern Baptist, no cussing dad. If you've seen it, well then...the scene with the Archbishop Rushman directing the 2 boys and girl in his "film'. My sister and I practically clawed ourselves to death trying to leave the room. We swore then we'd never rent anything ABOVE a PG rating to take over for Sunday "dinner and movie night".
ReplyDeleteThat was a LONG time ago...daddy isn't with us anymore, but I'm sure he's laughing his butt off knowing how horribly uncomfortable we were.
Flossing.
ReplyDeleteWhen an ice storm comes to the south and no ones prepared so you end up without power for days which makes you miss the updates on itjustgetsstranger. Struggles!
ReplyDeleteoh yeah and then an earthquake happens the day you get your power back. Earthquakes just do NOT happen in South Carolina...
DeletePaul Simon came to my town last night to see me, but I told him I wouldn't see him unless he called you first. Sorry. I tried.
ReplyDelete1. Babies with rabies.
ReplyDelete2. My child knowning every single word to every song on the radio, yet can't seem to memorize her time tables.
3. When my daughter looks like my husband's flugly a** sister after playing in the sun for too long.