Monday, February 15, 2016

Haterz Gonna Hate

Matt: You should make t-shirts.

Eli: Like, for my job?

Matt: For Stranger.

Eli: Oh. Well I did that once but then I stopped.

Matt: Why did you stop?

Eli: Because lazy.

Matt: Because lazy is why you do a lot of things.

Eli: Well, it's why I don't do a lot of things.

Matt: But I could help you and we could probably do it pretty simply.

Eli: What kind of shirts did you have in mind?

Matt: Well, maybe one that says "not that I know what that means, Cathie." Or we could do shirts with the Queen of Colors on them. Or one that says "twice up the barrel" on the front and then "once down the side on the back."

Eli: And t-shirts with giant pictures of Tami.

Matt: NO.

Eli: Why do you hate all of my good ideas?

Matt: That is a terrible idea and we will not print a picture of Tami on a shirt.

Eli: What about on a coffee mug?

Matt: You understand that that's worse than printing her on a t-shirt, right?

Eli: No, I don't understand any of this. I don't understand why people are so hostile about Tami. She's just a working woman trying to make it in the big city.

Matt: Because Tami is disgusting and it's not ok that you keep sharing pictures of her on Stranger. The people who read Stranger don't deserve this.

Eli: Well I agree that Tami can be a little off-putting at first glance--

Matt: At every glance.

Eli: --BUT, I think when you put really nice hair on her, she's very pretty.

Matt: Your horrible photophopping skills do not make Tami pretty or any less disgusting.

Eli: What if we make socks that have Tami's image printed over the big toe!

Matt: You are so out of touch it's scary.

~It Just Gets Stranger

57 comments:

  1. I would buy any of those t-shirts Eli! :)

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  2. I'm 100% on board with the "twice up the barrel, twice down the side" shirt. I'd buy that in a heartbeat.

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    1. I need that shirt. I need it, do you hear?!

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    2. Could I have the Snuggie version of that?

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    3. Can they put the "Once down the side" bit down the side of the shirt?

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    4. Yo, that's the best idea there. Put my vote down for that as well.

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    5. Or a long sleeve shirt that says "Twice up the barrel" going up one arm, and "Once down the side" going down the other arm.

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    6. *waves hands in air* Oooh...Oooh, Mistuh Kottuh!! Wait, wrong sitcom? Where was I?

      Oh, yes t-shirts:

      "NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT __________ IS, CATHIE!"

      "I DON'T EVEN SAY Y'ALL!"

      Bridal Shower Registry:
      1. Snuggies
      2. More Snuggies

      "JUNE SNAPPLE" <<< wait, that won't work will it? trademark infringement and all, NOT THAT I KNOW WHAT THAT IS, CATHIE!

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    7. I like the fill in the blank idea, and then make Eli hand write in your word of choice with a sharpie, like the "Amanda ________ Palmer" tshirts.

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  3. I'm with Matt, HashtagTeanJustVoteNoToTamiOnAnything. But a t-shirt that says twice up the barrel, once down the side would be great for making people wonder. Or one that says "Eli's 10th cousin once removed".

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    1. The Suzzzzzzzzzz! The 10th cousin shirt is one of the ideas we discussed actually! But I thought it should maybe say "I'm probably your 12th cousin thrice removed."

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    2. Shut up and take my money, good sir. Oh and you need to make a GMac shirt as well.

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    3. I really just want a bumper sticker that says "Stranger than thou"

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    4. So much yes! You need a Stranger Store. I need to know who my people are when I am out.

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    5. Yep, like the store at thebloggess.com I think I have 2 of her tshirts, a fridge magnet, a button, some cards, and a notebook from there...mostly gifts because people know I'm twisted that way. Nothing says love like someone giving you the magnet you dearly wanted that says "I've poisoned something in the fridge, good luck with that."

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    6. Oh, The Suzzzz, I'm so glad you buy all that Bloggess stuff at her Zazzle store. Eli should DEFINITELY open a Zazzle store!

      I have yet to purchase any of the cool stuff that The Bloggess or Eli ever have or may ever put up in those stores. But I love looking at it all!

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  4. The sock idea is brilliant. Just brilliant.

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  5. I call foul, sir. "Lazy?" I don't think that's a word I would use to describe someone who works a billion hours as a lawyer and yet somehow finds the motivation to do multiple Ironmans, maintain a very time-consuming blog (or two), write Survivor recaps, have a very active social and family life, write music, work at the homeless shelter, travel the world, AND spend three hours a day on his hair. If you think that's lazy, don't come over to my house on a Sunday. Or any of the days. I spent my entire president's day morning re-binge watching a Netflix show THAT I DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT MUCH.

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    1. He doesn't spend three hours a day on his hair. He wakes up looking like that. Eli, your hair looks fabulous today.

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  6. Ok, Tami on the big toe of toe socks is an amazing idea!

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    1. I agree! They must be those toe socks, or no deal.

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  7. I would totally buy the "twice up the barrel" shirt =D

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  8. PLEASE make t-shirts! I was just thinking that I am running out of places to get good t-shirts. My t-shirt collection mostly consists of old school shirts or shirts from various running pursuits. Since I've graduated from both school and running pursuits for the time being, I would really appreciate another avenue to supply my t-shirt collection in which I do not have to go through either painful experiences for as long as possible.

    p.s. Another t-shirt idea is "HashtagIwokeuplikedis"

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  9. You can have a shirt with a picture of a sock that has Tami on the big toe.

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  10. Snuggie . . . .snuggie . . . . snuggie . . . .

    Only because I don't wear t-shirts . . .

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    1. Me too. But I would start wearing t-shirts if you made one that says "Not that I know what that is, Cathie."

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  11. I really like the "not that we know what that means Cathie" shirt idea. I would buy that!

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  12. Can I have a shirt that says, "I miss Daniel"?

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    1. There needs to be a bunch of XXL shirts that just say "Daniel's Shirt" on the front of them.

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  13. Ann Arbor T-shirt Company does lots of web stores for my various clients. They're super awesome to work with and affordable. http://annarbortees.com

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  14. I would buy the hell out of your stock of shirts that said twice up the barrel once down the side.

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  15. I'm saving money now to buy SEVERAL t-shirts! *giddy squeal*

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  16. You need a shirt that says "hashtag woke up this way"

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  17. What about a shirt with Eli's abs. So it will look like I have abs. Without ever having to do an Ironman.

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  18. What about Sweat pants with, MR Pants written down one leg?
    Something cuddly and totally comfortable, cause that's how you feel when you're holding Mr. Pants.

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  19. "I don't even say y'all!" should definitely make the tshirt list!

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  20. I can go forever without ever seeing Tami again. But I would wear a "not that I know what that means, Cathie" shirt.

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  21. Or perhaps, "Then I guess this isn't even America!"

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  22. Please just make sure they are the really soft tshirts and plan on me buying one of each-probably in three sizes (pregnant, retained baby weight, and finally lost baby weight sizes) haha.

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  23. Yes to ALL of the shirt ideas (especially the Cathie one) and I loved the Tami on a sock idea. I think all of this would cover my Christmas shopping for next year

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  24. All the yeses to all these shirt ideas! I have been longing for any Stranger related merchandise! "The Community" needs this, Eli. We must band together for the welfare of this counrty, or this isn't even AMERICA anymore.

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  25. Ohmygoodness YES YES YES!! I've been waiting FOREVER for t-shirts to come back! I was too lazy to order one the first time around and have spent so much time regretting my decision!

    Ahem.

    I hereby promise that if Eli and Matt make the most amazing inside quotes from Stranger into t-shirts, I will purchase them immediately (if not sooner) and baffle ALL of the people I associate with.

    AHH! Ok, let's talk details: 1) you MUST do the Cathie shirt because I swear I quote that line on a daily basis. 2) the queen of colors shirt could just say something like "beware the queen of colors" with a tiny picture of the queen on the back shoulder or somewhere. 3) YES to the "twice up the barrel" shirt. Oh PLEASE make that a real thing! 4) some kind of Snuggie reference! Like "I wish I was in my Snuggie right now" or "my other shirt is a Snuggie". 5) ELI, you know law so please make this comment into a legally binding contract. These shirts have to become a real thing you guys!

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  26. OH. OH! Ok one more idea for those Daniel lovers who miss him: "Let's play Meow that Tune!" That was my favorite thing that Daniel did :)

    Or a Rebecca shirt that says "You are a complication in my life"!

    Maybe you guys could take custom Stranger orders? Only for those of us in the family, of course. Hashtag I'm probably your 12th cousin

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    1. I think he should design a limited edition "Stranger Family Reunion" shirt every year with something along the lines of "I'm obligated to like you because we're family, I'm not obligated to like your green jello salad."

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  27. There should also be a shirt "because what if Paul Simon?"

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  28. I'd totally buy Tami socks. Not even kidding.

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  29. I second all comments here (except the Tami ones. ewewewewewew. Tami should not exist on the internets. She's an insult to nature!)

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